Love Me Because of God

Greet Your Silence

It was the rain that poured down on this small town that made the children happy and made every rain a reward from the Lord for their prayers, and soaks the barren souls with the living water and the drops of love from the creator.

Every day will be very difficult and painful for a man who does not have love and the desire to find love itself, there is only one hope that makes him feel that this life is valuable and not just a children's game that can be ended at any time.

As usual in the morning, by living my routine as a person who is accustomed to without affection from parents, makes me have to be independent and solve everything alone. My parents were not clear where they were, making me assume they were dead. Since childhood I was in an orphanage and when I was 7, I was adopted by a simple married couple who are now gone because the hand of God has embraced them.

I'm Dimas, Dimas Rangga prasetyo. A student majoring in architecture at the state university of Jojakarta, UI to be exact. I was 20 years old, and I lived with my grandmother who was the parent of a married couple who adopted me.

Grandma Nuri's name, she was the one who took care of me since I was 8 years old, when the parents who adopted me died in an accident. Grandma Nuri loves me very much. My adoptive parents died at the age of 8, due to their accident.

Love is something I still consider taboo and there are still many contradictions in my heart about the definition of love itself, it's not easy for me to fall in love like many young people feel that love is everything and that it takes sacrifice for love itself.

Why is love still in my heart? I still do not know the cause of the difficulty of getting and understanding what love really is.

At one point on my way to campus my eyes were fixed on a graceful woman at a crossroads wearing a pink headscarf, which made my heart beat very fast and not as usual.

The next day I met the girl again in the college library, with a firm and mental fortitude that my granddaughter tried to approach and get acquainted with the girl. Annisa is a psychology student at the same college. Whether this is called love that can make people feel happy is not because.

After that introduction my relationship with him continued to improve so that we can say we were friends, a lot of time we went through together so that at one time I tried to dare to approach him and express my feelings to him, with a stiff face and a slightly stuttering voice I ventured to express my heart “An, nnisa, aaaku ss ss ssayang and like you, mm maau kkk you so pp ppaacar me?” sighed deeply while waiting for an answer from Annisa. Although very nervous and not because it feels, because this is the first time for me to say love to a girl, but it feels relieved because Annisa gave a positive response to me, yes, Annisa accepted me, but she said, I see her smile that makes her like me too.

After that time we also lived our relationship and aimed for the seriousness of this relationship, so that at one time Annisa invited me to her house to be introduced to her parents, after some questions about my education and family background finally Annisa's parents gave a positive response to me, “Annisa is a good child, if you make her cry, if you make her cry, get ready to face me” said Annisa's father while laughing and patting slowly on my shoulder.

Over time, until I got a scholarship offer to one of the top universities in Germany and I accepted it. Although it was very hard to leave Annisa, because our relationship had only lasted two months, even so Annisa understood what she had to do by letting me go for a long time.

When I left, I was accompanied by Annisa and Grandma, and they accompanied me to the airport, before departure I hugged my grandmother tightly “ anyway you have to succeed and make grandmother doubtful because of your success” said grandma while stroking my shoulder and kissing my forehead. I also hugged Annisa tightly as if unwilling to let her tears fall before me “parting is not the end of everything Mas, come and come back to me to fulfill your promises” flower messages.

Although this is my first time abroad, but my habit to live independently, which makes me not afraid to be in the State of people. When I arrived in Germany I immediately contacted Bunga and Grandma to tell them that I had arrived safely.

My first day at the new college made it a little awkward to interact with my new friends, but over time I started getting used to all this.

Because of my very busyness and the distance between us, so as to build a wall between me and Annisa, which makes us rarely even never communicate, so that at one time I got a letter from Annisa that said the condition and longing at this time, I also replied to a letter from Annisa.

Over time it did not feel like three years of my studies in Germany, and it was time to return to Indonesia, my homeland and my hometown.

Arriving in Indonesia I immediately took care of everything on campus, which turned out I had been prepared to handle an electronic company to be built, and I was asked to design the company, which was, I am glad to accept this offer. After returning from campus I was thinking about Annisa and intended to visit her home. When I arrived at Annisa's house, I saw a young man sitting with Annisa and her father. Annisa saw my arrival and she immediately approached me with a sweet smile that I had longed for.

We walked through the park together and we sat on a small bench under the tree “mas everything was too late, now and then it's different and we can't be together like we used to be” said Annisa, “what do you say Nis? Didn't you ever say I should go back?” my answer.

“dad betrothed me to a rich man a businessman son who is also a doctor” explained Annisa, “but why? Didn't you say that I'd be back to propose to you?” I said in a slightly loud voice. “besok was the day, I could not oppose the will of my parents, knowing that love should not have and we should be able to accept all that” explained Annisa, (the group just fell silent and started to leave).

There came a time when Annisa had become someone else's, and there I began to realize how beautiful it was when the sweet promises of love came to me and how bitter it was when the hand of love let me go. Now what can a man like me do who can only wait for the hands of love to come to me, with all the sweet promises he has to offer, and to accept the pain he has promised.

Now I'm going to go back to living with the only person who has everlasting love for me, yes, it's my grandmother.

By the time she finished dinner, Grandma called me and I sat next to her “you're all grown up, it's time to find a companion and give grandma a great-grandmother, ' he said, it's been a long time grandma hasn't held a cute little baby” said grandma advising me.

“later if there is a match for sure Dimas wedlock kok nek” replied me.

“grandmother already has a candidate for you, this time grandma hopes you do not reject it, grandma is no longer able to see you like this without someone who accompanies your life, grandma is also old, grandma is old, grandma is afraid if someday grandma does not have time to see you sitting in the pelaminan and holding a granddaughter grandmother, consider this the last request granny” explained grandma.

Even though I still couldn't erase Annisa's shadow from my mind, I couldn't make Grandma feel disappointed for the umpteenth time. I also accepted this match.

The girl named Bunga is four years younger than me, she is a midwife graduate of Airlangga University in Surabaya, although grandmother likes it very much, she said, but it takes taaruf (introduction) for us to get to know each other before moving to the wedding gate. We met at the park where Annisa and I used to meet.

As far as I know the Flower of a good girl and obedient to religion, although not wearing a hijab like Annisa, but I always see the shadow of Annisa on the figure of the Flower.

Initially, it was not easy to forget and remove the figure of Annisa from my life. However, over time I was able to replace Annisa with a Flower figure that was much better than Annisa.

Saturday, January 7, 1995, is the most precious day of everyone's life, hoping it is the most beautiful gift of his life and only happens once in his lifetime. I saw Annisa come with her husband and congratulate us both, at first I felt awkward and afraid of the wavering presence of Annisa in front of me but all that was able to be brushed aside with the presence of Flowers beside me.

After a year of this relationship we will finally be blessed with a baby and blood of our flesh, on May 04, 1996 Flower positive pregnant, the, and we enjoyed waiting times where someone else would be present to complete this simple house, and at this very moment I felt like a real husband.

On February 11, 1997, a very handsome man was born and it was the most beautiful gift from God that I became a father for the first time, a happiness that nothing in the world can describe, and one of my greatest joys is seeing my grandmother carrying the granddaughter she had so long awaited, the smile scratches and teardrops that fell on her cheeks symbolized immense happiness and was the end of her long wait.

Our son, Alvaro Gafriel, means the first child to be a protector to his family, his name is a prayer from us.

When Alvaro was 3 years old, grandma died of pneumonia suffered, this was a very heavy blow for me but besides that I felt relieved because all my grandmother's wishes had been fulfilled, and I could see the smile on his wrinkled face before he closed his eyes.

Life is not always what we want. Maybe I have lost someone very meaningful in my life, but I also have to realize that the blessings of God always flow for his able and grateful servant. Our lives are indeed very happy, with our complete family and simplicity making our lives more meaningful.

But over time Bunga suffered from lung cancer that has been in stage four, and only known when it was severe, on the night that the Flower fell unconscious after dinner, and it scared me so much to lose someone who's been my lap. And the thing that surprised me the most when he fell right in front of me and Alvaro, “mama, ma woke up ma” without thinking I immediately took to the hospital. When the examination was done to make me very afraid of things that could make me live in solitude, I tried to clear my fear by comforting myself with Alvaro. When the examination was completed and the results showed that the pain suffered by the flower was very severe and there was no way for the cure even with the donor though. The nightmares I've been afraid of all this time will come to me.

In any way I sought the cure for the Flower but only the result was nil, there was no other way but to wait for the miracle of God and wait for the ijabah of our prayers. One month already Bunga was in the Hospital and just lying weak, until one morning Bunga clasped my hand tightly and said “if all this is destiny, then, so walk all this according to the scratches of God's hand, believe pa’ if God's plan is more beautiful than what his servant predicted, he said, if I die tomorrow I want to go quietly with the people I love, not in this place. Take me away pa’ I want to see the park where we first met and saw Alvaro laugh while playing with us”.

I also took the Flower to where he wanted it, in the garden which was the place where we first met. Alvaro played with a happy smile painted on his innocent face, Flowers leaned on my shoulder and said pa’ don't stop loving me because even if you are not with me anymore but believe that God will bring us together later, be a good father to Alvaro, educate him to be like his father, when you sit here under this tree and when the sun shines through the shade of the leaves of this tree accompanied by a gust of wind, then believe me I am holding you, never feel alone my dear”. Tears dripped down my cheeks and so did Flowers, I wiped the tears on Flowers cheeks, and that was the departure of Flowers.

Flowers left us when Alvaro was 5 years old. Now I live with Alvaro, my little angel who needs my love and affection. I have to get up from this downturn for Alvaro, and I believe that all will be well.

Life is not what we want it to be, but I believe that there is a great plan from God that makes us much happier than today. Love will never come if the owner does not seek it, but love will be present in the heart of the owner until the owner goes to look for it.