Love Me Because of God

I'm Taking You Off for my Lord's sake

The speck of rain that night did not hinder two people who were in love to combine his love even though only in cyberspace. The thunderous lightning did not stop the lover's conversation over the phone.

“You decided to veil?” Ask the voice from across there.

“Iya beh,” I replied slowly.

Beh, that's my dear call for him. He's a Giant, my girlfriend. It has been 4 years, but the courtship is only in cyberspace. Not once did he and I meet. I'm in Padang and he's in Solo. Very far indeed, but the introduction of me and him via Facebook, then exchange no HP, to establish a relationship like this.

“Why should I wear a hijab?” Ask again with a beautiful voice that is able to lure me to love her.

“Because the Muslim woman had to close her aura, to prevent her from the bad behavior and treatment of men. The word of God in the letter QS. Al Ahzab: 59

“Ya already if it's best for you. Beh you want not to teach me about your religion?” He said in a stifled tone.

Subhanallah. Want me to jump around like a kid getting a new toy. But that's not possible for me to do. What he said, so happy for me. This is what I want. She and I have different beliefs, and this sometimes holds my heart and her back.

“Beh. Are you there? Hello?” He said to break my daydream.

“Sorry, yes I'm here. Are you sure about that?” Ask me to get a definite justification of it.

“Iya beh, but I want to learn first. Later if I have mastered, I want to be a convert” Giant reassured me.

“Ok beh” My words with passion

“Yes yes, I want to buy food first. I love you. We must have met”

Tuuutttt. The phone there was cut off before I could reply said Giant. I want to say, I really love you and my choice is not wrong, even if only in cyberspace I know you. Giants.

That's how my day was with Giant, always SMS and telephonants. Never met but needed each other. But after that time, our discussion about Islam, teachings and prohibitions. I also had to read more about it, so that I could answer the question of my beloved who was looking for God. And that's very helpful.

And my heart was filled when I found a sentence of God glancing at my eyes to notice it

QS Al Isra (17:30-32) which means: “(30) And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We are the ones who will give provision to them and also to you. Killing them is a great sin. (31) And do not approach adultery; indeed, it is an abomination and a bad way.

Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, then let him not be alone with the woman who is not with him a piety because the third one at that time was Satan.” “Someone is stabbed in the head with an iron needle better than touching a woman who is not kosher to him.” This hadith is narrated by Ar-Ruyani in his Musnad (227/2).

My heart flinched reading that verse, I looked at it again. I understood many times, there was justification and blame mixed up in my brain.

The zina? those words are what make my heart shake, my soul roll out,

me and Giant mean that I've approached Zina.? Akhh. He and I are far apart, don't hold hands, just meet me and he never. There are many justifications that I look to to calm my heart. But both are two?

I grab the laptop, I start pressing the keyboard and then connect to the internet. I began to look for the reasons for my justification, one by one I opened. I read with great caution. But what did I find there? None of them even justify dating. The exact reason, Islam forbids men and women who do not both muhrim. Although in the media communication that we often do linger long. God has promised a good partner to a good person and vice versa. And God has said to create man with a mate.

It shook my heart to read it, to feel that I was a sinful being, to doubt the word of God. I drift in my turmoil, either obedient to my religious teachings or staying with my beloved. I don't know what to do.

I took my slow steps to the place where I had to complain, but I purified myself before that. I washed some of the limbs, I stretched the prayer mat. With a white face wrapped in a body, I prayed between two options.

“Yes Allah choose for me by the power of Your knowledge, determine for me by your will, I ask for YOUR immense mercy, for You are the One who can determine things and I cannot, You know what I do not know, and you know the most of the unseen. O God, if this thing is good for you, my life and the end of my life, then choose it for me and make it easy for me, then bless it, and if it be a calamity for me, my religion, my life and the end of my labor, so keep him away from me, and give me goodness wherever I may be and glad I will be.”

I chanted the prayer before and after the prayer with a sigh of suffocation and a round of tears of complaint, asking for His Power.

I don't know, what whispers tempt me to move a few centimeters from this prayer mat.

“Honey,” Shady voice there started my phone. Makes me shut up for a moment.

“Beh, you know Islam teaches us about how to get along well between men and women?” I was stuck with a word that became difficult to assemble.

“Iya, tahu” The answer is short

“It turns out we've been wrong Beh, on the wrong road!” Obviously to him.

“Means?” He asked me a question that was so hard to explain.

“If we love each other is ready to get married?” Ask me to quote the words in the article.

“Ah weird.of course I'm not ready, I'm still 20 years old, a lot of things I want to do. I have many dreams I want to achieve. So is it with you, right?” His words began to rise slightly, jolting my heart, pooling my tears at hearing it. He whom I had been proud of with his beautiful and delicate words, now became terrifying.

“Yes, it means better we continue our lives to perfect our religion, our dreams. Later if it is time we will meet in a halal and holy bond, which will bring worship. Not a sin like this Beh, understand” Words that vibrate my lips finally spoken. Very heavy, for a moment I let my lungs empty with oxygen, to withstand the pressure that came from my heart.

“Yes already, may you peace in your religion”

Tuuttts. The phone is turned off.

Beh, beh. wait. I want to tell you, I love you more than I do. Meet me someday. In the Istiqamah of love.

It hurt when the decision happened, it was heavy and tortured me for a few days, because my Facebook was blocked, her HP number was changed. But God strengthened me, I set my heart to deepen my Love for the Khalik so that I would be loved and loved by those who love Him. He and I are over now I don't know about him anymore, whether he stays in his religion or is getting better.

All I know to this day is that I'm releasing you for my Lord's sake. Because I'm looking for the love of my God. To be a better person.