Love Me Because of God

My Love Fairy

Finally arrived, my heart. On the way, it was really annoying. As usual, in the middle of the twilight streets of the capital must be crowded with visitors. Visitors are not just visitors, but visitors who queue because of the congestion that has become a daily meal in our country's capital.

At the time of traffic jams like that our patience is tested. But these are the times when patience is really tested. The problem of congestion has been every day I get, but unfortunately earlier in addition to having to jostle on the road with other vehicles I also have to be cold because in the dense rain that has been in the last few months living in Jakarta. I wanted to take shelter first, but there was no choice. I was already in the middle of a crowded queue of visitors. How else, maybe today is a bad day for me. In addition to the seepage of rainwater inundated in the streets added to my aggravation.the splashes of water from other vehicles have hit my clothes. Uhh sucks!! This is due to drainage filled with garbage due to irresponsible human activities, which casually throw garbage in place.

It is at this point that the government's weakness in the capital is too slow to deal with the problem of garbage and congestion that is getting worse. Be aware, the government, this is only a glimmer of a small part of the territory in Indonesia, what if the entire state is all the same as the condition of the capital?. If that happens, I believe that Indonesia is no longer an independent country, but a country that suffers from the actions of its own citizens and government.

After the shower, I immediately went to my dresser. Suddenly my vision was pounded in a small 3R photo frame that was displayed on the wall of my room. The photo has been there for almost 5 years. A photo of my last memories with Artha under a tree. Great God Artha Radheva Krisvana, is a man who has filled my heart for 2 years. Still recorded strongly in my memory the good times when the story was still intertwined. Starting from an accident that he accidentally made me know him.

I was sitting under a tree near the school garden. I just sat looking at the butterflies that were perched on one of the blooming rose buds. But suddenly.. Bruuk!! Something hit my head. I don't know exactly how it happened. For sure when I came to my senses, I saw I was lying on the bed in the UKS room and a guy standing next to me.

“Sorry yes, I accidentally” said the guy to me.

“Emang earlier why?” I still wonder why I can be on top of this bed in the UKS. All I remember was I was relaxing under a tree but suddenly my head hurt and everything went dark.

“So I accidentally bumped you with a basketball, but actually it was not accidentally because I was again practicing the ball truss reflected towards you.” Obviously the guy was long.

“Nothing kok”

“I'm Artha, who are you?” the guy who turned out to be named Artha was thrusting his hand.

“I Aifa” I shook his hand.

And conversations happen. From there I knew that Artha was a member of the school basketball team and she was in the XI 2 class, a class that was close to my class of XI 1.

Long we talked did not feel the sound of the bell marking the end of the break was heard. Finally Artha and I walked to their respective classes that were only separated by a wall. After the incident, Artha and I met often, for example during the break or the return hour. Sometimes we walked together to the school gate at home. Or when the break came, we walked together to the cafeteria. Artha is humorous, she is also kind. Not infrequently my dimples he made deeper due to laughing because of his unique and funny guyon.

Physically, the figure of Artha many who admire especially the students in school. Not infrequently I can feel when when I walk with him, suddenly all his fans come to swarm him. I've been irritated too often because of that.

Strangely enough, since a month of knowing Artha I felt something strange. Every time I get close to him, I feel comfortable. Every time he smiled at me, I felt happy. Every night I think of him. Is this what you call love? Or is this just like it? I don't know for sure, all I know is that this is an indistinct feeling. Feelings that are more than just close friends. The feeling between love and liking. I let time answer. And then came. During the break, Artha came to my class and took me for a walk around the school. Then, in the middle of the journey, he stopped and sat down under a tree.

“Fa, rest first yuk. Cuckold nih.” Artha asked me to relax under the tree.

“Fa, still remember when I accidentally hit you with a basketball first?”

I nodded and smiled in light of that past incident.

“Fa, under this tree that brought us together, I want to say something. Um.. Fa, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

And I also mute. God, my body is shaking, this body is cold hot to hear Artha say that. And the world feels frozen. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I feel. The feelings between shock, pleasure, groggy, ah are all mixed up.

“Agh, enghh.. aa.. i.”.

My lips feel locked. What am I supposed to answer? I honestly still hesitate to accept it. I'm afraid it'll be the talk of all the schoolgirls.

“Fa.. Silence I mean as a word yes. I love you Fa” kiss landed on my cheek. Artha then ran away leaving me with her sweet smile.

I still remained silent about it. Plus he just gave me a peck on the cheek that made my world cold. Oh my god, I'm sure, a feeling I didn't know before, now I know. This is love. This is true love. Finally my race was also returned.

Now the days I've been through have become more colorful since Artha's presence in my life. Blissfully. Of course that's what I feel. God I really thank you. Until one day, Sunday. I invited Artha to see the view at the top. Honey, I have to hear the rejection from Artha.

“Sad sorry yes not that I refuse or do not want to go with you, but I have to go to Pura” he said by phone.

I was shocked. A temple? What's he doing at the Sunday temple?

“Lho want what in pura?”

“I'm sorry baby, I forgot to tell you from the beginning that I'm a Hindu. Yes yes baby, I was in a hurry”

The phone has him closed. I am still silent. My mind has not been able to digest Artha's words just now. A hindus? Is Artha a Hindu? I don't know why he said it like a lightning bolt that struck my heart in the morning. I don't know why those words kept me silent, but my mind was empty. I don't know what I'm thinking. My mind doesn't feel clear.

Two years have been my relationship with Artha. One afternoon, the day before the graduation announcement, Artha and I went to school just for a walk. Artha invited me to sit under a tree where she and I met and where she and I were in love. While taking pictures we also talked.

“Fa, can you not see me close to another girl?” the question he suddenly asked, and it struck me. I kept quiet, not knowing what to answer.

“Fa, are you angry, am I? Dear sorry”

I then smiled and said “Honey, if that girl can make you happy, why not? I'm even happy to see you happy even if it's not with me”

“Fa, for example we are not a matchmaker how?” again the real question sliced my heart back he said.

“No problem, the soul mate has been set the same above kok” my smile this time feels heavier than the previous one.

“Aifa, I want you to know that I love you, however I still love you. Earlier I apologized to Fa if this made you hurt. It's not what I want, I can't say no to this either. Honey, my parents wanted me to end the relationship with you because our beliefs were different. And I will return to Bali to continue my life. Aifa, I love you”

The thing I had expected for a long time had finally come true as well. And the word separpun said.

Back I'm mute. Only tears can be removed. I said nothing after hearing Artha's words. I saw Artha running to leave me alone with her mouth locked and the rain in my eyes. I also want time to stop. Deep affliction befalls me.

But all of what may be our different faiths

God is one, we are not the same

I should leave even though love cannot go

The lyrics of Marcell Siahaan's song titled Peri kita is a parable of my love story. The lyrics are so penetrating in my heart. Now the Fairy of my love that used to color my life is gone. Make my days colorless again. The days after my death my Fairy of Love will be as empty as it was before her presence. Now answered are all the question marks that are not clear in my gut feeling. Because the fortress is so high as to be the separation between me and him, until the love story that has been built must collapse and end here. The belief that separated me from Artha always made me wonder, Is this fair?

The next day at the graduation announcement, I didn't see Artha. I heard that he had moved to Bali. Since then I have been shutting myself up. My room became my palace. I have no lust. Until I have to be hospitalized for a few weeks. After I got out of the hospital, my friends and family kept comforting me. Help me to restore my smile, but it's free. Until one day, my heart was open to reality. Now that Artha is alive with her life, she is gone in my life. I have to be strong about it. I have to prove my point that I will be happy when I see her happy. Although now his figure no longer colors my life, but the memories of him will always be stored in my memory. Yes I must toughen up! My journey is long. Until now I've been left without Artha. Even though my heart has not been filled up until now, but I am sure that someday there will be a figure present in my life as a replacement for Artha, a figure that will color my life later.

The Mentari has returned to perform his duty of shining the earth. Accompanied by the whistling of birds singing along with fresh grass dancing. Today is my graduation day. I don't think I'm going to be a bachelor of medicine. It feels great to have succeeded in realizing my ideals that I have dreamed of since childhood to become a doctor. And today the title of the doctor will be the title that completes my signboard later. In the building where the event took place I was with my mother and father waiting for the seconds of my release from my university degree to become a scholar.

The event went well. My mother had shed tears watching as my Sergeant's hat was emblazoned by the rector of my college. After the show was over, my family and I were going home. But just as we were about to get into the car, the figure of a man in a hat whose face did not seem to block our way. My father was angry and almost hit the man, but suddenly the man took off his hat, and..

“Aifa..” The man is Artha.

I really didn't expect. Back I felt mute. Artha's? Oh, my God, is she really Artha? Is this really not a dream? I don't know what to do. Both my parents were silent as well.

“Aifa I want to propose to you. I want to marry you, in Islam. I am a Muslim, my dear. Now we can be with”

And lightning struck me. The lightning that shook my heart. My mind certainly can't digest what's going on and what Artha just said. A thousand question marks still adorn my head. No!! This must be a dream! Yes, I'm sure it's a dream. My head feels heavy, and all kaburr, dark…

When I woke up, I saw that I was already on my bed at home. What the hell just happened? It must have been a dream, it was just a dream. But if it's a dream, why am I still wearing my graduation uniform? What about Artha? There's no way he's been back for nearly 5 years since he left me. I kept asking the confusion in my heart.

“Son, are you feeling better?” ask the mother who just came into my room.

“What happened ma'am? I don't get it. What's the matter exactly?”

Mom came in, and there was Artha behind her. Oh god, this is really not a dream. My feelings were suddenly jumbled, happy, sad, angry, happy, and erratic.

“Fa.. can I explain everything?” artha said while sitting on the edge of my bed. I was silent, I was still speechless.

“Fa, 5 years I left you and then came back to you, it's not without reason. But during these 5 years I had to study in Australia, I couldn't possibly let you wait for me for so long. So I decided to lie, but I had intended to be a Muslim since I knew you. Ever since you taught me about Islam, it seems like the door of my heart is so enamored with Islam. Until I decide, after college, I will become a Muslim and will propose to you. Would you marry me honey?”

I feel like I can no longer hold back the honest tears from this dammed up. The rain was pouring down my cheeks. Happiness rain. I am really happy to hear his explanation. Now I'm sure this isn't a dream. But, there was still a sense of doubt in my heart.

“Ta.. but, what about your parents?” that question that had also stuck in my mind.

“My parents have let me change my faith. Now, I'm just asking for your answer to my question”

Honestly, I'm still confused by all this. I turned my face to the mother sitting at my dresser, she just smiled and nodded.

“Iya, I want”

Finally our marriage took place. Artha's parents also came and became witnesses in our marriage even though they now have different beliefs with their children. But it is clear on the faces of both parents Artha that they look happy to see her son following me. Thank God, I believe this is the answer to all my waiting and the recompense of all the trials You have given me.

It's been a week for my household and Artha to walk. But there's something stuck in my heart. I don't know what it is. A feeling that wants to convey something. Today is Sunday, Artha asked permission to go out to buy something at the Mall, without suspicion I allow. Until late at night, he didn't come back either. I'm so anxious and nervous. I tried calling her phone number, but she wasn't active. I ask my parents, friends, to clients who are familiar with it. And the result is nil.

At exactly 12 pm, my parents suddenly came to my house and took me to fly to Bali. What's the matter? I'm just getting more worried. I repeatedly asked my parents what was going on? Wh why? But their lips were locked tightly. All the hunch that doesn't keep haunting me. My anxiety is so mounting, curious, that's how I feel, too. On the way on the plane, bad premonitions continued to dominate in my mind. Up to 20 minutes later, when I got to the airport, I felt this hunch was becoming more and more. Give me God's instructions, what happened.

My mom and dad took me to a house I don't know whose house. Fluttering yellow fabric in front of the house that looked luxurious. I wondered who the owner of the house was? Who died in that house? Why did mom and dad take me to this grieving house?. When entering the fence of the house, the anxiety of my heart overflowed. Father rang the bell of the house, and someone who seemed to be the maid opened it. Dad greeted someone, that person's face was no stranger in my eyes. But I forgot who that guy was embracing dad. A woman came and hugged my mother. I'm more astonished.. When my face turned on the wall of the house, my eyes were pounded on a large photo wrapped in flowers.

And my world is frozen. I saw the photo is a photo of Artha, besides the photo there is an open wreath of mourning that says “According to mourn the death of Supreme God Artha Radheva Krishvana” Lord, I hope this is a dream. I don't want this to be true. God, is this really a dream? My aky muscles suddenly squeezed all over. It feels like to pinch I can't, let alone have to accept this bitterest reality. Tears have poured down my cheeks. Everything looks dark, it feels stuffy and stuffy. My legs could no longer support my body weight, I finally fell and was unconscious.

Upon awakening, both of Artha's parents sat beside me with puffy eyes. They gave me an envelope containing something. My parents also seemed to be crying. With trembling hands, I slowly opened the envelope and read the contents.

“Dear Aifa, my dear wife..

I'm sorry for all my lies to you all along. Actually I wanted to tell you the truth from the beginning of our relationship. But I'm afraid I lost you too early. I'm sorry if all my lies hurt you. But this I did because I didn't want to see you tormented early. Five years ago when I left you, I didn't actually go to Australia to go to college, but I went to Australi to get medical treatment. Because of stage 3 brain cancer that has been eating away at my life since Junior High. Honestly Fa, you are my first boyfriend, as well as my last girlfriend. Maybe I've never told you that, but now I've said it. I never dated any girl until I got to know you, that's when I found out about love. Knowing what love is, knowing what love is, knowing what love is. And you taught me all that. Fa, the week before our wedding, the doctor who treated me has sentenced me to only be able to survive a few more weeks. So I begged my parents to allow me to embrace Islam and to propose to you immediately before my final gust of nephas. Honey, I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye to you. This morning I felt that my death was very close, so I decided to return to Bali so that I could be buried in my hometown. I wrote this letter while I was on a plane to Bali, in recognition of all my lies. Last time I said, Aifa you’re the love of my life and my death.

(Signs) Artha, who is looking at you with a smile from paradise”

God, is this your plan for me? Is this the word of justice that you have addressed to my life? Why do You give it back when you finally take it back forever? If this is indeed the destiny you have laid out for me, I will try to be sincere. I tried to face my destiny with a smile, despite the pain and tears.

Artha has left me forever. Now his smile, his laugh, and his joke have gone with him in nature. But his name and memories of him will never be timeless.

Let me keep it until I'm there

Calm yourself in peace

Remember my love, you are invisible again

But your love is eternal

You are my love fairy, the color giver of my life. Even if you're not in this world anymore, but I'm sure one day we'll be together in another world. It is death that separates us, and death that brings us together.