Love Me Because of God

When Silence Is a Choice

A beautiful morning when the song of the birds is mutually unpretentious. A mentor who began to dare to show his smile, adding to the beauty of the morning. The work on campus was waiting for me. I went to college with great enthusiasm. Upon arrival at the college, I saw some well-arranged motorcycles. “Why are there so few motorcycles here? Where are the seminar organizers? Said to come early in the morning” I thought.

I looked to the left and to the right. I mean want to see the other friends. But not the friends I saw. Let's guess what try? Don't know, do you? Trus, want to know or want to know? Haha, kidding buddy. It turned out that what I saw was a girl in a pink headscarf with glasses adorning her face. He just smiled. I was silent for a moment. Suddenly a friend greeted me. “Ales”

“Eh Ridho, new come yes?” my answer.

“Iya, go inside again yuk, we see the situation inside” invite him.

We also left. The further I go, the more invisible the sweet smile becomes. Okay, it's been the story of that morning. Shortly thereafter the seminar was started and run successfully until the end of the event.

Like running water, day after day passed without ever coming back. The shadow about her was already vague in my mind. Arrive at an event conducted by one of the campus SMEs. I never thought I'd be reunited with her. Even though I hope to see him again. He he's…

Sometimes I look back just to see him. I am like a very happy grass when the rain falls during the dry season. When a question is asked by the host, I want to answer it so that he knows who I am.

“Jawab or not yes, answer or no ya” these worries are constantly popping up in my brain.

However, my shy nature I can't fight. I don't dwell even though I try to fight with all my mind. Without feeling the acaraapun is finished. The opportunity passed.

I told everything that happened to my friends.

“Ki, last night I met a woman with very sweet glasses, Muslim clothes again. He amazed me Ki” my story on Riki.

“What is he from which Faculty Les? Answer Riki.

“Tarbiyah Faculty and Teacher Training possible. My answer.

“When show us the person ya” sahut Indon.

“Sip deh” replied.

Since then, I have been hoping to meet him again. It turned out that my hope was really happening, again I was met with him at an event on campus. I attended the event with Riki.

“Ki, that's the sister I told you about yesterday”

“Mana les?” ask Riki.

“That's wearing green hijab” I replied.

“O’oh it, I with Indon also never saw it in the Bank near our Faculty. Beautiful Les” says Riki.

When I was washed away in daydreams, the Ashar prayer prayer rang. We gradually went outside to perform the Ashar prayer. After finishing the prayer, Riki and I sat in the room waiting for the other friends to enter the room to continue the event.

We sat near the entrance. When engrossed in telling stories, the event committee told the participants to immediately rush to their respective seats because the event would be resumed. We also rushed. I started to step foot, and suddenly the green-veiled girl appeared from the entrance. Strange feelings began to be felt. My heart was pounding as I walked nearby. Swing my footsteps and her simultaneous steps towards the seat, I never really thought this would happen.

“Cie, cie Ales” Riki quipped.

“What Ki?” my answer.

“How does it feel to walk beside him?” said Riki.

“My heart feels like it's going to fall Ki. Fortunately, I did not fall unconscious. Hahaha”.

“Lebayyyy you les” says Riki.

“Hehehe” I just smiled.

I couldn't focus on following the show. I always look for opportunities to see it. Well, it's the wrong place. Instead of watching the show, pay attention to him. For friends, don't let this happen to you. In following an event should focus on the event. Agreed? Hehe…

Shortly after, the show was finished. Riki and I rushed home. Arriving in the outer courtyard of the building, it turned out that he was right in front of us.

“Ki, Ki, that's him.” My speech.

“Udah is Les, from earlier he was the one you noticed” Riki's advice.

Suddenly someone called him with the greeting “Si”.

“Si?” what's his name supposed to be? Thought.

I came home with a thousand question marks. Like the nurse Naruto yes, the figure of a thousand shadows. Hehe. In my mind, there were a thousand question marks. Question marks about what the name of the green veiled girl really is.

I started searching for his name on facebook with the keyword “Si”. It turns out that my efforts were not in vain. I found his facebook account. We became friends on the social network and then went on to Twitter.

It's all like a well-arranged scenario. The more days I can't escape the shadows about him. I always remembered him, often mentioned his name and talked about him. His attitude that might be mediocre even suddenly became more impressive than the attitude of a friend who took pains to help me in solving problems. Weird right? Yeah, it's weird. But, it's real friend. All of my friends have felt it too, right? Hayo ngaku. I think I've fallen in love with her. This is my initial assumption. But it turns out I was wrong. This isn't love. I'm just caught up in the lust that has imprisoned my common sense. Lust to always think about him, imagine something about him.

If I had any, what could I give him? What can I do to make her happy? Just a student, his mind has been far too bright without clarity of direction and purpose. Think again! The future is long. There are still a lot of great things I can do. There are still many challenges and obstacles to life that I have not felt. Again there is still a lot of preparation that I need to be able to have it in a way that is halal not in the usual way that is actually unusual and should never exist like the phenomenon today.

I cannot betray my own heart. I can't say no to not think about it and I can't say no if I wish I could have it. Honestly, I want to have it, make it someone who has a special meaning and meaning. Someone who will accompany my days until the world will no longer be seen. But I'm not ready. Still a student. Anything still asking the same old man. So I'd better harbour that desire, leave it in silence and if this desire of mine doesn't have a chance to speak in the real world, I'll try to let it remain silent. If he wasn't my soul mate, I'm sure God knows. As the water flows, it will bring a drop after a speck of rain groaning following the flow of a long road to just unwind at the end of the journey. Slowly the desire will disappear by itself and God will replace it with a more beautiful and appropriate taste. I'll try to keep it tight, make it a beautiful memory in the corner of the heart. Trust me, God knows better what we do not know.