I'm Tired, Love Me

The POV I

After parting ways with Rheyna, I felt that there was less to my life. I realized everything that happened was my fault. I lost our only son, because I was too complacent with the Princess.

The princess was my lover, my mistress' lover when I was dating Rheyna. Until Rheyna became pregnant, and I had to take responsibility for our mistakes. I'm still not ready for a household, I still like freedom, even I was still in touch with the Princess when I got married in the first place. Until finally my relationship with the Princess was known to Rheyna, and I had to stay away from the Princess for a moment, so that Rheyna did not ask to part with me.

As time went on, our little son was born and Rheyna started to get busy with her activities taking care of our child. Her body that was not as beautiful as before made me go back to looking for the Princess, re-establish a relationship with her. I gave reasons for the office so that I could go home late and sometimes go home until midnight. I don't even go home once in a while when I spend the night with the Princess, or go out of town with her. I forgot my responsibility for my son and my wife, I was too complacent with my daughter that I ignored my family.

I never touched my wife again, not even giving Vano our son any more affection. I know Rheyna often cried because she saw me who every night came home late, the holidays I used to be with the Princess, I accompanied the Princess who was pregnant with my child. I can't refuse when the Princess whines to ask me to be with her. Even until Vano has to go to the hospital, I still make love to the Princess.

There was not the slightest guilt at that time, because when I came home I only found Rheyna with her negligee, with a face that looked shabby, even she and our maid like there was no difference in appearance.

Until I got the news that our son Vano died, I wasn't there when Vano was struggling in the hospital with dengue fever. I saw Rheyna was devastated, her face was very pale. I knew he must have been so hurt by Vano's passing, I felt sorry to see him with a thinner body than usual, that he fell in a fainting spell, during Vano's funeral.

1 week I did not see the Princess, I wanted to accompany Rheyna who locked herself in the room, until finally I received a call from the Princess who threatened to kill herself if I did not come to see her. I rushed straight away from Rheyna, I don't want to lose my son anymore. When I got there, it turns out the Princess just wanted to ask me to take her shopping. Without me realizing it was Rheyna following me, she was with someone, at first I didn't know who was with her, but from her car it was like I had seen her. My affair and the Princess was finally exposed, Rheyna said she would divorce me for the sake of the Princess who was pregnant.

Shortly after the incident I got the news that Rheyna's mother died, even when I met Rheyna at her house I just found out if her father had died 3 days before her mother died. Rheyna kicked me out because she didn't want to see me anymore.

Turns out Rheyna really sued for my divorce, even our divorce did not take long, the evidence of my affair was plastered when the trial was not attended Rheyna. I just found out that Rheyna was helped by my cousin, Mas Arlo. From the lawyer who represented Rheyna I know, because he was Arlo's trust attorney at the office. And I remember the car that drove Rheyna back then was Arlo's bodyguard. I had wondered what their relationship was, but I was sure that Rheyna was not a woman who easily accepted anyone, what else Arlo was my cousin's brother, and I was sure, surely it's because Arlo pity to see the Rheyna I've hurt.

I was buying cigarettes, and my eyes caught Rheyna's figure there, she seemed to be contacting someone. His current appearance is better, than when he was with me he looks unkempt, even if only using negligee, but at the moment he looks dazzling. I don't know why I want to have it back. When I forced her into my car, because I wanted to talk to her alone, I was suddenly blocked by a tall and handsome, bule-faced figure and she claimed to be Rheyna's lover. I don't know if it's true that they're in love, but I certainly feel as unwilling as Rheyna is with this guy, she looks a lot more than me, from the car she drives, his attitude towards Rheyna, all made me afraid that Rheyna would be with this man. After we chatted at a cafe, I finally knew how hurt Rheyna was, maybe I should stay away from Rheyna after she lost everything she had, maybe it was time I let her be happy.

After that I no longer wanted to harass Rheyna, even though I wanted to go back with her.

With the Princess I no longer feel the same intense feelings, as I used to. I live in the house that I bought specifically for the Princess, while the house that Rheyna once lived with our son, I leave empty, because there are many memories with our son, there are many memories with our son, he said, I can't afford to live there. I was planning on giving the house to Rheyna, but she definitely wouldn't.

***

Almost every week the Princess always asks for shopping, whether it's a bag, shoes, jewelry or just a candidate. She's not like a simple Rheyna. I miss Rheyna.

“Mas, I want that shirt to be okay?” Appoint the Princess on a dress displayed in the storefront of a famous store.

“Massss” Princess called me back, because I was busy thinking about Rheyna.

“Iya Rhey.”

“Call what?” I pretended I didn't make a mistake, but I knew I was wrong.

“Rhey who is mas? Your new boyfriend?” Ask full of questions.

“What new girlfriend’an anyway? You also know my activities every day, every time you also video call how do you want to have a new girlfriend?” Answer grumbling.

“Or don't you still remember your ex-wife the bulky Rheyna huh?” The answer succeeded in guessing my mind.

“Dragon your words Princess, don't insult him.” I was struck with emotion when Princess insulted Rheyna.

“Oh so that, why not go back there with him.”

“If he wants to have been from yesterday-yesterday I came back with him, than the same you only know spend my money.” I answered angrier and left him behind.

“Masss.” The princess yelled at me, so we became the center of attention of the people, because of the shame I finally stopped my path and waited for her to walk together.

“Mas I want that shirt.” With a pretentious voice he again asked for the clothes he had just pointed at, as if our debate that had just happened was meaningless.

“Buy alone.”

“But I don't work, where have money.”

“Winning for work, so as to know what it's like to make money. No matter how much money I give you will never be enough if your way of life is like this. You know, even Rheyna who I only give ten percent of my salary is enough for our household needs, and she can still buy our son a toy, not to preach herself.”

“But I want it mas.” Like not listening to me, he still whines asking for clothes.

“As far as you are, I want to go home. If you want to go home alone it's up to.” I walked towards the car park, and grumbling the Princess followed me from behind, entering the car with emotion, closing the door by slamming it, but I didn't care anymore.

Seriate..