I'm Tired, Love Me

Embolden Yourself

When I woke up from my passing out, I was in a car whether it was whose car, it looks like Arlo's car because only he has a car this good in the Bagas family and my family.

“That you have realized” asked Bagas who sat with me, I just kept quiet and looked at him cynically.

I sat down and gathered my consciousness, then went down the car and I saw that Vano's tomb was covered in mounds of earth, saw some people sprinkling flowers, I walked towards the crowd, by bringing my broken heart. I stared at the Headstone, and my father hugged me and gave me a basket of flowers to sprinkle on top of Vano's grave.

“Beautifully remember son, Vano is no longer sick now” the words papa said when giving up a basket of flowers

“Unfortunately mama is no longer sick, son?” While stroking his headstone and smiling bitterly,

“Wait for mommy ya son, until the time we regroup” I kissed her headstone, imagined being kissed her like she was when she was still there. After a while I crouched down in front of Vano's headstone, I finally decided to stand up.

After all the brothers and friends say goodbye and greet me, there was one person who grasped my hand very tightly, as if feeling the pain of my heart, giving me strength even she caressed my arm for a bit and muttered ‘the strong ya’ was just her lips that I saw without any sound I heard, and only I replied with a nod of my head, he's Arlo's mas.

Everyone has gone home, there is me, Bagas, mama, papa, mbak Sari and also old man Bagas. My gaze kept on Vano's headstone, stroking his headstone,

“Let's go home” mama woke me up from my daydream, I just replied with a nod

“Let Rheyna go home with me ma” said Bagas

Mama looked at me, asking for my approval, please,

“I go home with mom, papa, mbak Sari aj”kataku to mama. I don't want to look at Bagas, my heart still hurts considering Bagas' treatment of Vano.

I continued my way back to papa's car, sitting next to Sari's mother who kept holding my hand to give her strength. Bagas drives his own car.

Arriving at home I entered the house that crossed my mind when looking at the TV room were the times when I accompanied Vano to play, I again shed tears. Entering the room I recalled every laugh, my son cried.

I decided to take a shower cleaning myself under the cold water. After finishing the bath I curled up on the bed, back in tears, until I unconsciously fell asleep in tears.

Bagas entered our room and tried to wake me up,

“Mah eat yuk, said mbak Sari you have not eaten from this morning” said Bagas woke me up

“I'm not laper” I replied lazily

“Come dong darling eat first yah” woo Bagas while stroking my hair

“Not hold onto” I said while dodging, advancing my body to get away from it

Bagas left me alone in the room, right,

Tok.Tok.

“Non, can I log in?” Ask Sari from behind the door

“Log mbak” replied me

Czech….

“Non eat first yuk, this I bring” said mbak Sari approached me

“I'm not a laper mbak” I said weakly

“Ayo non eat a little, Kasian Vano if you see his mother so weak like this” said mbak Sari reminded me

I nodded and got up from my sleep, sat down and leaned on the back of the bed, starting to bribe the rice that Sari brought me. Only half the portion I ate. Maak sari came out carrying a tray of food that I did not eat.

***

For a week I've been no longer concerned about Bagas. Every time he wants to talk to me, I avoid him. It has been a week Bagas always at home, that's what I heard from mbak Sari. She sleeps always on the sofa in front of the TV, taking a shower using the guest bathroom. He only enters the room if he takes clothes.

While I was taking a drink in the kitchen, I heard the sound of people in Bagas' car garage. I walked towards the living room, where I could hear more clearly who was talking, he said,

“Iya patiently first, Rheyna is still injured, she does not even want to talk to me” I don't know who Bagas is talking to

“Yes if everything has improved I go there”

“Don't now, I don't want Rheyna to think I didn't lose Vano” I wonder who was talking to Bagas

Bagas rubbed his face rough, though,

“Yes I've been there a little while, I saw Rheyna first, if she had slept I went straight there, I, remember just a moment I drove shopping” I rushed to my room after hearing Bagas would see if I had fallen asleep.

I put the drinking water I just picked up on the nightstand, put my body to sleep with my back to the door, the lights were turned off.

Chequek…

“Will you sleep?” Call Bagas while stroking my hair, I'm silent about not reacting, because if I pull Bagas' hand over then he'll know that I haven't slept. After a while there was no movement from my body, Bagas finally came out of the room.

When I heard Bagas was turning on his car, I hurried to change my clothes. Wait until Bagas pulls the car out of the garage.

“Mbak Sari please now open the gate of my car ya” I said when approaching mbak Sari who was in her room

“Lho not going where? It was seven hours low non” said mbak Sari confused

“Later ya mbak selenya, I again rush” said I was in a hurry

As soon as Bagas' car was taken out and his garage fence was closed, then he ran his car. I rushed up to my car, stopped her, while Mbak Sari rushed to open the fence.

“Let me call mbak” said I then tancap gas without waiting for an answer from mbak sari.

I was looking for the whereabouts of Bagas car, fortunately I found it, I walked not too close for fear Bagas saw my car that was following him.

Not long after he entered the residential area, which unfortunately I could not come in because the officer asked me where I was going and met whom, I was confused I finally decided to turn my car around and stopped not far from the entrance of the housing.

Not how long I waited, there was a car that also stopped behind me, only about 5 meters away, ‘owh maybe it was an online driver again waiting for orderan’ I thought.

After 15 minutes a fancy car came from the opposite direction of my car, the bright lights made my eyes glare, wanting to know who stopped brazenly in front of me and did not want to turn off the lights. Suddenly there was someone next to my door, opening the door of the car that I forgot to lock.

Seriate…….

...Who is Samperin Rheyna? 🤭...

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