I'm Tired, Love Me
Decisions
After a day I just stayed in the apartment mas Arlo with mbak Sari. Eating, watching TV, sleeping while thinking about what steps I should take.
I still blocked Arlo's mas number and didn't intend to unblock it, because Arlo's mas doesn't seem to matter with my attitude.
***
I was getting ready to visit my mother's house.
“Mbak Sari, I want to go to the house of mama for a while yes, mbak here by yourself pa pa pa?” I asked Mbak Sari who was sweeping
“Gak pa pa pa non, relax aja non” said mbak Sari with a smile, “Breakfast used to be non, said den Arlo I have to make sure non eat regularly” continued mbak Sari
“Dih mbak Sari nurut same mas Arlo” said I was being teased
“Soyal den Arlo same attention non” mbak Sari who has finished sweeping then approached me who was having breakfast, poured orange juice on a glass and gave it to me
“Non sorry if I sassy, I see den Arlo seems to like yes same non?” Sari's question surprised me a little
“Times anyway mbak?” I pretended to ask “gak maybe mbak, mas Arlo will already have a wife with children, I am also the same” continued me trying to deny what happened
“Yes the name of human feelings non, can not be forced, what else is it about love, the wrong one will feel right mbak” explanation mbak Sari is right
“No need to think about mbak, live what is now, but for sure I do not want to be a destroyer of household mbak people, mbak, because I already felt my happiness and Vano was ruined by another woman” I laughed at my problems with Bagas
“Ya already me leave first yes mbak, Insyaallah afternoon I have returned home mbak” pamitku on mbak Sari
“Iya non, be careful on non street, greetings to non” masters and mistresses I replied by giving my thumbs up
My car took refuge in this apartment, brought by Arlo mas man who picked up Mbak Sari that night.
After a journey of about 30 minutes I finally arrived at the home of my mother and father.
“Assalamualaikum” sapaku when opening the door of the house
“Wa’alaikumsalam” replied mama and papa together, from behind the house, they are farming in a small field behind the house
“Aduh really friendly mommy is equally papa this, make me envious aja” said I mocked mama and papa with a smile
“Here son, mama wash hands first ya” mama stood up from her seat in the small chair, after plucking the weeds and I just nodded
“Papa healthy pa?”ask me on papa who looks a little tired
“Healthy son, nih papa is still strong gardening” he said defend himself
After she finished washing her hands and after the hand-washing papa, she took my hand to sit on the back garden chair, under the mango tree, and took my hand, pour us some tea and give me and papa that tea
“What's the son?” Ask me to start our conversation
“What Bagas still here again pa?” I asked papa
“Only once and it was very late at night he came here son, where do you live?”
“I borrow temen pa apartment, mbak Sari also come with me” I replied
“What happened to make you leave home son?” Ask my dad patiently, while mom just stroked my back, as if knowing the pain in my heart
“Bagas cheating pa” answered me briefly
“Do you have proven it?” Ask papa
“I even caught him walking with the woman pa, the woman was five months pregnant, pregnant child Bagas pa” said I who returned to shed tears
“The same woman I was pregnant with, Bagas has cheated on me before, and I have forgiven her mistakes because I do not want my son to be born without his father, but now that my power has been lost pa, there is nothing more I can fight for, I want to end my marriage pa ma, pa ma, forgive me for disappointing you guys again” explained my intention to divorce from Bagas
“Nak have you thought about it well?” Asked Mama who had shed her tears when she saw me cry
“That woman needs Bagas more for their child-to-be ma, while I? There was nothing left of our relationship, Vano did not want to survive with his father who rarely embraced and gave him affection so he had to die. what else should I keep if love is no longer mine, ma, Bagas does not love me if he loves me then there will be no way he presents another woman at our wedding ma” tears as if to say how hurt my heart received all the treatment Bagas to me
“Lantas what will you do now son?” Ask papa gently, I know that you feel hurt because the princess only wayangnya already hurt by a man who has only a few years into his daughter's life
“I will take care of my divorce with Bagas first, and I will find another job pa, I will build my new life pa, pa, and I'm not going back to that house again” I explained a little of my plan to papa and mama
“Back here son, stay with mom and dad again like before” mom told me to go back to their house
“Don't now ma, I don't want to see Bagas until our divorce process is complete, I'm sure Bagas will come back here when receiving our divorce papers” I rejected mama subtly “Let me stay in my friend's apartment first ma, the apartment he also did not use kok, kok, there is also Mbak Sari who accompanied me” I explained to my mother
“Take care of yourself son, no matter what happens remember that there are we who always love you and receive you back, this house is yours if we don't” papa said
“Papa and mama must be healthy so that I can keep going yes, do not stay me like Vano ya” I said while hugging papa who was only answered with a caress on my hair like when I was a child
After we finished talking behind the house, my mom asked me to cook for our lunch. Sauteed bitter melon with papa's favorite shrimp, my favorite sweet sour shrimp, and mama's favorite omelet. About an hour later, the cooking was finally done. We had lunch together, after lunch I rested in my room, still the same, still clean because every day mama cleaned it.
Even in the afternoon I say goodbye to papa and mama, for pity to leave Mbak Sari in a foreign place by herself,
“Papa loves you son, be careful when making decisions, think good and bad” said papa smiling as he stroked the top of my head, I kissed his hand and hugged him
“Come here son if you need a place to lean” said mommy as she hugged me, then I kissed her hand and left.
Seriate….
