I'm Tired, Love Me

Promises

Since the incident I learned about the relationship Bagas and Princess 3 days ago, my attitude changed no longer as warm as before, maybe because the wound in my heart is still very much felt.

“Yank tomorrow is it Saturday, take a walk?” Bagas tried to get me to talk while we were having dinner at home,

“Where?” Answer me lazily

“What if we go to Batu? A lame?Or go to Joga or yank?” Tanya Bagas tried to offer to several places

“I'm lazy go” I replied briefly

“Atau we did aja yuk yank? Watch, eat, you can all shopping also yank?” Tanya Bagas is still trying to offer me for us a little time to refresh

“I'm tired, go if you want to go” I replied lazily

Bagas put his spoon and fork and then tried to hold my hand which had already finished my meal, so I felt I did not want to continue eating again when Bagas tried to talk to me,

“I beg you to forgive all my mistakes yank, forgive all my mistakes so far, forgive me for the wounds I made, I beg you to return as you were,come back like my cheerful lover” apology Bagas makes me allow my eyes to look into his, trying to find lies there but I can't find them, or I can't afford to dive into the meaning of his gaze?

“I've told you, right, I forgive you but everything will never be the same again, something that has been broken will always be broken even though you have glued it back together,even you have covered with paint even though he will not be as strong as before broken” I said it and then lifted my dinner plate and passed leaving Bagas I put my plate in the dishwasher and rushed to the room,leaving Bagas at the dinner table alone. We have no domestic assistant because I don't want anyone else in our modest home, because I feel able to take care of all our household affairs.

15 Minutes passed after I returned to the room, I sat on the bed and leaned my back on the headboard, playing with my phone looking for information about pregnancy, what foods I should not consume,this pregnancy makes me happy and sad easily.

‘Ceklek’ heard the sound of the room door in the open, Bagas entered the room turned off the main light, stayed behind the lights on the nightstand only that lit. Bagas passed to the bathroom. After 10 minutes in the bathroom Bagas came out and went to our bed, sat down next to me and stared a long time at me, while I pretended to be serious about reading the lines of writing on my phone screen, suddenly Bagas slipped his right hand behind my head and pulled my shoulder in his arms, I was shocked because of Bagas' sudden attitude that made me try to escape from his embrace, “sssttttttt Bagas said trying to keep me quiet,then his left hand tried to touch the part of my stomach and stroked it slowly while saying “sadly papa know not if your mama again crave the same papa nak” Bagas as if he was talking to our son “Papa wrong son has made your mama hurt, forgive papa, son? Papa won't make the same mistake again.” Then Bagas kissed the tip of my head and said “Yank I'm sorry, you have the right to be angry and hate me, but I beg you not to make our son sad yank, you can hit me as hard as you want,but do not torment yourself with sorrow yank” Bagas words make me cry again in silence, I did not answer a word of what Bagas said, “cry yank, I did not answer a word of what Bagas said,I'm here to wipe your tears and wounds, forgive me yank” Bagas back kiss me and tighten his embrace.

Too tired to cry unconsciously I fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved and hated.

***

I tried to get out of bed but Bagas's embrace was getting tighter calling me “mau where yank? Here I still miss you yank, dong continued to look at your handsome husband” Bagas words make me reflex hit his chest slowly “apa’an anyway? I did not shower you kok” answered me while trying to let go of Bagas' embrace, then passed by leaving Bagas when he could release his embrace, and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and prepare breakfast for us.

When I came out of the bathroom I saw Bagas was up and sitting leaning on the headboard, “yank go where?” Ask Bagas when I see I will leave the room, “to the kitchen, make breakfast” I replied, “yank here first aja” said Bagas then, “ada what?” My answer while walking closer to our bed, “here yank sit here first” said Bagas while patting the empty space next to him, I sat where Bagas tapped earlier, Bagas said, “yank can ask for something?” Bagas said as I sat down, “ha? Ask what?” My answer is a little tart, “can't we have breakfast outside this morning? I suddenly really want the chicken porridge you used to buy for breakfast is low yank!” Answer Bagas, “tumben really ask for chicken porridge? Usually offered also do not want” asku on Bagas, “gak know yank really want to taste, want ya yank?” Bagas said while showing a clear face, “heeemmm yes, hunt shower is if so” my answer agreed to the invitation Bagas, “yeeeeyyyy asikkk, asikkk,thanks yank” said Bagas in excitement while kissing my forehead and running towards the bathroom.

While waiting for Bagas bath I cleaned our beds, then I continued to change my clothes and slightly polish my face using a moisturizer and thin powder and a little lipbalm,then I combed my slightly wavy long hair and tied it together like a ponytail. I'm not a pretty woman, but people who know me say that I'm sweet, with my skin ripe and my nose a lot of people think that I'm of Arab descent,though that is not true because both my parents are 100% Indonesian. After I finished tying my hair, Bagas came out of the bathroom and hurried to change clothes.

“Yuk yank we leave” said Bagas while walking towards me who is still faithfully sitting in front of the mirror,

“Iya ayo” I replied as I stood up and picked up the mini bag I had prepared on the dressing table, Bagas took my hand and then led me out of the room.

We left at 08.30 traveled about 30 minutes to the chicken porridge that Bagas wanted earlier. After buying chicken porridge and eating it there then at 09.30 we headed to a fairly large bakery in our city, Surabaya City. This bakery with the windmill's emblem made me flinch, many cakes I wanted to buy, but I decided to buy my favorite blackforest cake, I bought a cake with a large size, I bought a cake,hahaha I had imagined that if the cake was going to eat alone while I spooned, I did not want to eat it if it was cut, my desire was strange huh hehehe.

After the Bagas bakery took me for a walk to the mall. He invited me to look at the clothes of pregnant women, then he chose some clothes for me so that when my stomach grows I will not be confused about what clothes to wear. Yes Bagas looks very excited to choose me pregnant clothes, there are already 10 clothes he bought for me. Getting out of the pregnant clothing store made me tired, when Bagas would take me to the other store I started to refuse because I was tired. Finally Bagas invited me to go back to the car and we went from this mall, and returned home which turned out to be late in the afternoon.

***

Our relationship gradually improved, I had already started to treat the wounds in my heart and Bagas helped me by devoting his full attention to me and the baby in my womb.

Bagas no longer came home late at night, he often took me for a walk, spent time together together telling stories and joking together.

Seriate…..