Chandanas

Back to Reality

Fifteen hours. Fifteen hours had passed since my body was tied up in a large tree that stood firmly in the middle of the forest. I was put on the ground and tied up by Edy. He was really angry and just left me in the middle of the forest after being satisfied to make me battered. Although most of the bruises were scattered on my body, my forehead and lips were the most painful part because of the torn wounds that were caused by Edy's iron rod punch.

My mouth was tied with a cloth so it felt very sore and difficult every time I swallowed. He literally left me alone for eighteen hours without giving me any water or food. He also let me freeze to death as night fell.

Honestly, I was scared. Very very scared. I am not afraid of death or beasts, for me, death is not so bad compared to all the events that have happened to me so far. The thing that scared me was Kiran. I was afraid that he would die and get hurt for coming to my aid. I was afraid that I would have to watch him get injured let alone lose his life before death came to me. I would never be able to live again if all that really happened. My soul and my mentality would be completely destroyed if all that happened.

Therefore, I tried many times to break free. Moved his hands and feet so that the bond made Edy loosened. It worked a little. However, it does not necessarily make me able to escape from all these bonds.

At that time, my body felt very weak and also tired. It was very thirsty and hungry too. I don't even remember the last time I could eat a meal and enjoy the taste.

I was breathing desperately. I believe that Kiran will come here soon after receiving a call from Edy. Although fifteen hours have passed, I am sure it will arrive soon. Or maybe he has actually arrived?

I went back to fervently, trying to get rid of all the bad and negative thoughts from my mind. At least the only thing I have to do is break free and foil Edy's plans. I will just move my hands and feet when the roar of the old car engine is getting closer.

Highlight the headlights of the car split the silence that afternoon. I frowned to sharpen my vision when a man in a red shirt got out of the car. Apparently it was Edy. He had a black plastic bag in his right hand and an old toolbox in his other.

I threw away his face as he glanced at me with the look of his dreadful eyes. Why did he come back here? Doesn't he feel satisfied that he has let me freeze and starve after making me battered?

"Gue is still upset!" Edy slammed the black crackle in his hand impatiently.

"Udah you lied to me twice! Lo khianatin me! You want to get away from me, right? Huh huh? Aye?" Edy glanced at me with a sharp look, as if I was the one at fault for having tried to save myself.

I did not respond or answer because my mouth was tied. After all, even if I could reply to him, I still wouldn't answer at all because if I did that, Edy would only grow angry and annoyed. He is the person who dislikes it the most and feels uncomfortable when what he plans is not going well. When others argue and question his opinion. Such is the nature of manipulative people, always feel the most right and always want to be considered right.

"But relax, I'll kill you. Just not now. Wasted everything if I kill you now. When yes? Maybe after Kiran died? Mmm, two or three hours from now dong?" Edy grinned, showing his row of teeth with great confidence.

I was silent for a moment. What do you mean in two or three hours?

As if I could read what I was thinking, Edy continued, "Gue has installed a cctv on the forest door. I saw Kiran and the bike. He's headed here again. And me? I'll execute him soon. But before that, he had to see something!" Edy came back to grin.

He opened the black crackle bag he was carrying, then took out strange objects that I could not understand.

Edy glanced at me with a petty look, "He should see us hooked up. He must be destroyed before he dies!" Edy giggled softly.

My body was listening to his words. My breath hunted and in panic, I groaned as I tried to escape. Nah! I don't want Kiran to witness anything, I don't want Edy to hurt Kiran in the slightest.

The only thing I thought about was how to break away and run as far away as possible. I cried slowly as I continued to relax the rope that bound my hands, feet, and body. I didn't want Edy to execute his plan and do that in front of Kiran. Nah! I won't be able to!

As I cried while trying to free myself, Edy laughed loudly while continuing to prepare the equipment he needed.

"Lo won't be able to escape! Even if you do, you think you can run from me? Haha. Nope! Take it easy, soon you will die together, really. Just before that, we'll let go of the longing first in front of Kiran, huh?" Edy laughed again, as if he was mocking me with all his actions.

At that time I did not care about anything he was doing or preparing. In my mind, there is only one sure word. Blurred. I have to run away.

But apparently all my efforts that did not produce results ended in vain because the sound of the motorbike was heard approaching.

I'm getting sobbing. In my heart, I kept telling Kiran to turn and leave. So that he doesn't come and let me die alone. I have no power to hold back my tears. All my tears broke and poured over imagining what was about to happen in a moment.

On the other hand, Edy who also heard the sound of a motorbike engine rushed to install some equipment then pocketed a gun and hid behind a large tree.

I was still busy with all the anxiety and anxiety as the bike drove slowly, splitting through the weeds and through the trees scattered where I was. He parked his bike right next to Edy's car.

I looked straight at the driver of the bike as he took off his helmet and threw it away and then ran towards me at high speed.

Kiran, ran towards me with a worried expression as well as a twitch on her forehead. He was in pain every time his foot came to the ground. Is correct. He's not completely healed yet.

I closed my eyes, sobbing as I found Kiran dropping right in front of me. He shed tears while holding my body in his arms. A warm and soothing hug.

"Where are you going? Ye.. Ye.. I'm sorry I can't look after and protect you" Kiran rubbed my head gently while I was busy burrowing her head into her square chest.

Kiran is the safest and most comfortable place for me. He was a man who treated me very well after my mother. He was the most sincere person I had ever met. He was Kiran, the only reason I was no longer afraid every time I closed my eyes. The only reason that made me no longer tremble was when I opened my eyes every morning.

Kiran, you're coming.

Before starting the most important part, I want to go back to remembering the times when I felt so guilty about Kiran. Feeling very rash and selfish and helpless at all.

At the time that my father was out of prison, all the memories of the past came back and made me forget the little bit of happiness that Kiran had brought to my life. Anxiety and fear regained control of me and took away my mind.

At that time, I was reminded of how dirty and horrible I was. That what I have is only badness and pain. There will be no good I can give to others because I cannot even give it to myself.

If I let Kiran get close, isn't that a selfish act?

Doesn't Kiran look the same as me? Doesn't the look in his eyes look as beautiful as mine?

If I share this wound with him, won't he suffer even more? Aren't I just going to give him more and more pain?

At that moment, I realized that we could never be near each other. And for that, I avoided it. I acted as if I was reluctant and did not want to be near Kiran at all.

Many times I saw her sad and sad face because of what I was doing. And many times I felt guilty and sorry for hurting Kiran. I hate myself, I hate my horrible past. If given the chance, I want to erase everything and live normally like other children. Live without the need to feel excessive fear just by being around the opposite sex.

Speaking of the opposite sex, I also don't understand why I don't feel scared and my trauma symptoms don't show up when I'm near Kiran. Whether because of feeling safe or how, surely the feeling of fear and fear reactions never appear every time they are near Kiran.

Instead of being afraid, I often worry and get curious about Kiran. One of them was that day.

After I reneged on the promise I had made with Kiran, I did not go to school because I had to take care of my father's move. Although at first I felt afraid and did not dare to stay with him again, but seeing my father's thin body and deteriorating health made me feel worried. As a result, I asked my grandfather to allow my father to stay with me so that I could take good care of him. Although he refused, in the end grandfather let my father stay at my place.

Dad's really changed. It gets better and more attention. No longer as rude and absent-minded as last time. Father said that he regretted everything he had done and felt very expensive because it had taken away the future of a small child. Dad continues to be haunted by guilt every day so that his health and weight decline drastically.

Not getting into school after missing our appointment, I kept getting calls from Naya and Kiran. At first I planned not to pick up the phone from them and really stay away from them all. However, I can't. I can't bear it because Kiran keeps trying to contact me. Therefore, I asked him to come to a place near the house so that we could chat.

Not to apologize or familiarize our relationship, but to remove and destroy the hope I had given to Kiran. I felt like I had to end it all and completely stay away from Kiran completely.

# (If forgetting, there is an interval 1 part 14-15 :D)

After making her completely lose hope, I left her just like that and stepped away with tears. It was so heavy to let go of the only lantern I had. Yes, Kiran was the only lantern that made my life unsealed in the past. And back then, I really wanted to let go because I didn't want to dim Kiran with the darkness that was in my life. Kiran deserves to be with good people. And I'm not one of them.

The next day, I went to school as usual. Through the day as usual and do everything I need to do as usual anyway. I think that day will pass like the smell. However, it seems like fate is back to playing its part.

After school, I went to the health room to return the stethoscope that had been borrowed by one of my friends to practice drama this morning.

I walked slowly and was not excited. Guilt as well as worry and uneasiness continued to haunt me after saying things that might hurt Kiran's feelings the night before.

Upon arrival in the infirmary, I thought the guard teacher had gone home and locked the room. However, I was wrong because the door was not locked when I turned the doorknob.

Without much thought, I went inside and put the stethoscope in place. However, strangely there are no guard teachers or PMR members in there. Really quiet and quiet. I almost thought the guard teacher forgot to lock the door when I saw a man lying on one of the beds.

Seeing this, I hurriedly threw my face away. Slowly, I began to panic and intended to leave immediately. However, before I opened the door, the male student growled softly. It sounds like he's having a bad dream.

I don't really care and am interested in that. However, strangely I was curious and wanted to know who was lying there. Therefore, I turned around and walked slowly near the bed. It was then that I found Kiran lying there with a pale face and cold sweat all over her face.

He growled and moved in his sleep, as if he were dreaming of something very, very bad.

My heart started beating faster the longer I was there. Confused as to what to do, I took out a handkerchief and wiped away the sweat that flooded Kiran's forehead and face.

Slowly, I wiped off her sweat while looking at her beautiful face. He looked so sad and suffered even in his sleep. Although I don't know what he is dealing with, it feels like I can feel what Kiran feels. The sadness and fear that was on his face, I felt it too.

Unknowingly, my hand just moved and was about to touch Kiran's face. I hurriedly brushed off the intention and a second after, Kiran wriggled in her sleep, making me scowl in shock and hurriedly leave the infirmary. I ran out without thinking twice. Of course, it would be critical if Kiran woke up while I was still standing next to her.

And even after that, I met Kiran again at the supermarket because she was following me. To be honest I realized that, and hence, I re-emphasized and tried to get him to give up. Giving up on me.

And after making her leave with a sad and disappointed face, sadness and guilt came back to haunt me. At that time, I felt that I had gone too far with Kiran. I felt I had done something bad and outrageous. If Kiran wants friendship, then I should have given it to her. I should have let him go and indulged his simple little wish.

At that time, I began to think that it might not be a problem if we became friends. At least, I don't have to share anything about me. I just need to make friends without having to share and open up the horrible things that are hidden within me.

And because of that decision, here we are now. If only I had not felt guilty and stayed in the position, everything about us would not have continued. Kiran and I will not be together. Our feelings will not grow so fertile. We will not share secrets and pain with each other. Kiran did not need to be injured and suffered severe injuries. And of course, Kiran would never be in this forest and risk her own life just to save me.