Chandanas

Rock (3)

Now Roka is sitting uneasily in the court of the sports arena where there are a lot of sports equipment that is usually used by the public for free. GOR is located not far from his home so he often visited here when he was a child.

In the past, Rosa almost always brought Roka to this place every time Sunday arrived. Although only playing around for a while, for Roka the time she spent together with her mother was the most precious time for her.

His mother always told Roka that exercise is very beneficial. With exercise he will always be healthy and live longer. Rosa also said that with exercise, one will become stronger. Therefore Roka and her mother agreed to name their 'secret' place with 'the place of the strong'. Because of this, Roka is always excited every time Sunday arrives because he knows on that day he will be able to be with his mother even if only briefly.

Her mother always said that she wanted to see Roka become a healthy, strong, and fit child. He wants Roka to be a child who can protect herself and even protect others. Rosa always said that she likes people who are healthy and strong. Therefore, since her mother left, Roka tried desperately to form her body and stamina which was originally only a flattened snot child, now transformed into a dashing teenager.

Roka even followed basketball in High School so that he could further improve his ability and fitness. All he did was to get his mother ready to return when Roka had managed to become a healthy and strong child. But what can be said, in fact as strong and as fit as Roka, his mother never returned. The woman had completely thrown it away and left it.

Roka blinked a few times, she felt that there was water welling up in her eyes. He admitted that all these happy memories were painful at the same time.

Reluctant to remember things that will make him feel more sad, Roka circulated his gaze, observing fitness tools that have now increased a lot accompanied by colorful paint. Roka smiled slightly as she moved her legs agitatedly.

Not so long ago, a female figure in her 40s walked over to Roka with hesitant steps. She still looks beautiful and slender at her age which is no longer young. His eyes are sharp and his nose is sharp, which is also handed down to the baby. With a knee-length dress and hair rolled up to reveal her smooth nape, the woman's gaze was fixed on the figure of a dashing young man sitting on a bench sitting behind her.

His legs trembled as the distance between him and the young man eroded. His palms were busy wrapping each other to dampen nervousness. Cold sweat began to descend his neck as he perfectly sat next to his son tens of inches away.

Roka's heart beat unruffled when she heard the sound of shoes approaching from behind. He tried to be relaxed and indifferent but he knew very well his body was not so. His legs and hands trembled even more when he realized the figure had been sitting on the same bench as him. The figure that he hated at once so much he wanted to achieve.

Long silent without a sound, the woman decided to open the conversation, "You've grown up."

Roka smiled wryly, her eyes looking straight ahead, "Papa is taking good care of me."

The woman was silent, it was very difficult for her to compose the right words especially with a hint of hatred that was clearly visible from the voice and actions of the son she loved so much.

"Why did you leave me? Why never say anything? Why?" roka's voice sounded vibrating followed by a drop of tear that escaped and fell right on her shoe.

Rosa sobbed slowly. His heart ached hearing Roka's words, now he seemed to have become a stranger to his son. And he realized that was what he deserved. Rosa deserves hatred from her son and ex-husband.

With one deep breath, Rosa recounted, "Your mother used to have a lover. We love each other very deeply. We were planning on getting married when suddenly your grandfather - Mama's father - fell ill. She asked Mama to marry the son of one of her friends. Mama refused because Mama loved someone else, but by then your grandfather was barely alive so finally Mama was willing to marry the young man your grandfather chose, he was your real father."

Rosa glanced at Roka who still looked indifferent to her, then continued, "Your father also did not want the marriage so that our household was initially quite complicated and difficult until finally Mama pregnant you. Your father who originally did not think at all the presence of Mama began to change. He became a loving and caring husband. It continues until you are finally born into this world. You know how much love he has for you. He is willing to work day and night to make you live well. He is a wonderful father, but he is not a good husband. After giving birth to you, your father's attitude returned cold and indifferent. Mama's hurt, Mama's confused what to do. But for your sake, Mama's sticking with your father. Mama went through all her unpleasant treatment sincerely because Mama did not want to part with you."

Roka shed tears. He bit his lower lip, he couldn't believe all this woman's words. His father was a very good man. Her father loved Roka more than anything. This woman must be lying, she must be looking for an excuse for Roka to forgive her. At least that's what Roka thought. He wanted to interrupt and accuse this woman of being a liar, but he was not up to the heart for it. At least he should hear everything until the end. He has to be patient.

Rosa gulped while wiping her tears, she glanced at Roka, wanting to feel like she was hugging her son warmly. While Roka was still grinding her teeth, Rosa continued, "You might realize that since you were 6 or 7 years old, you started to leave you alone. Mama started to go away often for no reason. You and your father may believe that Mama was with another man, but in fact at that time Mama was diagnosed with a brain tumor, a disease that has also claimed the life of your grandfather. They said it was still benign so Mama was not too worried, Mama routinely went to the hospital to check herself. Two years later, they said the tumor was gone, but your father didn't trust Mama much anymore. He became suspicious and our relationship deteriorated. We started to fight and blame each other. Mama never understood what your father really wanted, she hated Mama but didn't want to let her go."

"Until you're 14, the disease comes again. This time it was first stage brain cancer. At that time Mama was afraid, Mama was afraid that there would be no more time. Mama is afraid that Mama will not have time with you so Mama is selfish and asks your father to divorce Mama so that Mama can take you away, living freely and happily once, only you and Mama. But your father once again misjudged, he said Mama wanted to run away with Mama's affair. She accused Mama of cheating when she didn't know the truth herself. At that time Mama was really angry, Mama really wanted to go and leave your father. But she said she wouldn't let Mama meet you if she left. Mama is confused what to do because in the end Mama will leave you. Therefore Mama left without saying much, you better hate Mama than you see you destroyed and mourn the departure of Mama when God calls," Rosa wiped her tears while Roka was weakly bowed with tears.

"Mom knows it's selfish. Mama knows it's outrageous. Forgive Mama's decision" Rosa really sobbed violently. His shoulders jerked forward and backward because of a sobbing he could not stand.

"About Naya's father, she was the love that Mama left for your father. We met a few months after Mama divorced your father. He had lost his wife a long time ago while Mama was facing a terrible disease. We need each other so Ma-"

In the middle of her stuffing, Roka wiped the tears violently and shuffled up to grab her mother's shoulder and held her tightly. He could no longer hear more stories. He could no longer hear what his mother would explain. Roka does not want to lose her mother, she will not let her mother die just like that while she feels she does not have enough time to love and be loved by the Mother. Roka hugged her mother very tightly, she buried her face in the neck of the Mother and cried bitterly.

Rosa is not much different. Although surprised because Roka suddenly grabbed and hugged him, he felt very happy to be able to hold his son after a long time. All his longing and guilt poured out along with all the secrets he had been craving for himself. An inexplicable feeling of happiness penetrates into the chest and spreads throughout the body. He hugged his son very tightly as if there would be no more tomorrow for them to be together.

"sorry. Maafin Roka, Ma. Excuse me. Roka didn't want Mama to leave. Roka misses Mama..... Roka doesn't want to be left alone anymore.." Roka said stammeredly, this is the first time for her to cry like this since her mother's departure a few years ago.

Rosa further tightened her embrace, "Mama doesn't want to leave you."

Amidst the immeasurable happiness the two felt, Rosa realized this would not last long. He will soon leave Roka and everything he has. Although it looks healthy, in fact the cancer that gnawed him has entered stage 3 and he rejected all kinds of chemotherapy procedures because his father still died even by doing the treatment.

Now the only thing Rosa wants is to stay with her son. Spending the time he had wasted so far. Pay for the togetherness that they should have gone through together a long time ago.