Romance Love Kanaya

Confession of Heart

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"Mas, why?" there was something strange about Dirga and it was clearly visible to Kanaya at the moment.

He hugged but it felt very different, even his breathing was not as usual before he left for Jepara a few days ago.

"Mas, is there a problem?" kanaya asked again, but the first question had not been answered but she asked again.

Clearly, Dirga's change would make Kanaya very confused and worried as well.

Kanaya sat down and Dirga followed her. In her hand Kanaya tightly, her eyes were staring at me and so many doubts.

What's the matter?

That was the question of Kanaya until her eyes were glued to look at Dirga's face so strange. Is it possible that Dirga made a mistake while in Jepara?

Kanaya's mind wandered so far away. But obviously he thought that way because Dirga changed after coming home from there.

"Mas, what's wrong?" back Kanaya asked hoping this time would get an answer that would explain everything.

Dirga was bowed down not daring to look Kanaya in the eyes for a moment her eyes closed before she was completely ready to explain everything. Saying everything he has done to finally ensnare Kanaya in his life.

Kanaya was still waiting, her eyes completely turned away from Dirga's invisible face. Obviously Dirga made a mistake otherwise he would have dared to look at Kanaya upright and full of courage.

"Nay," Dirga began to speak, slowly raising her face and looking at Kanaya's face with resignation.

Dirga resigned to everything that would happen, resigned to all that he would get. Hatred, or perhaps heartache if Kanaya chooses to leave. That is the result of his own actions.

"Hem?" the more clingy and impatient Kanaya is to hear everything in Dirga's mind.

His feeling was very anxious, his heart even beat uncharacteristically because of the fear that was also very intense.

Only one feared, that Dirga lost control while in Jepara and had intercourse by forcing other women there.

Is Kanaya's fear too much?

If Dirga did that then Kanaya would also feel very sinful because she could not give her rights to her husband and make him force others.

'Astaghfirullah thing 'azim, why do you have such thoughts, Ay?' Kanaya can only be privileged in the heart. How could she doubt her husband like that.

Even her husband just struggled desperately to control her deformity when with her how could she possibly get out of control on another woman. Dirga's faith is very strong and sure he can control it.

But the fear of a wife will always be there, right?

"As sorry, mas has made a mistake," Dirga's words came to a halt.

Clearly, the way Dirga spoke and the trembling voice made Kanaya even more unfazed. His heart is beating faster.

"To_errors?" The pain had already begun to grow in Kanaya's heart. Did what he thought really happen? Did Dirga have relationships with other women?

Kanaya's eyes have been there turmoil that began to force to come out but still he tried to be held. Everything was not clear because Dirga had not said everything so how could he immediately conclude that what was on his mind was true?

Dirga looked down again, did he say everything? but if not now when else. Dirga will always be haunted with guilt and it could be his entire life.

"I'm sorry for using the mahabbah to tie you up into a mas's possession" Dirga was unable to see the face let alone the eyes of Kanaya.

Shock, that must have happened to Kanaya now in fact he immediately released his hand from Dirga's grasp.

Kanaya choked, her heart seemed to stop beating hearing the words of the dirga said just now. How could he possibly be so easily exposed to such a thing?

Kanaya's tears are now gone. His eyes continued to look at Dirga who was completely down as if losing his wife as a man.

"Mas is a stupid man who can't melt a woman's heart the right way. Until finally I used the wrong way. Mas has blessed you after mas not willing you to refuse mas."

"Mas does not accept your refusal. Though I know you will not accept mas. Receiving a man who suddenly comes and wants you. Wants your love."

"Often mas chant the prayer of the mahabbah for you. Wishing you could accept mas, receive a pinangan mas and it turns out everything did happen. Whatever mas wants has materialized until finally now you are in the presence of mas as a wife mas."

"I should be happy now, and forget all that because you have succeeded in becoming a mas. But no! I feel so guilty now and I can't be happy the way I've done."

"Mas wrong. It is wrong to separate two hearts that already have each other. Mas was wrong because it made a wound in two hearts that had so many dreams as well as a commitment to be together. It's selfish."

"Indeed, you shouldn't say this, but your love for Yuan is also very big and I admit that. Maybe I won because I could make you mine, but I lost because I couldn't have your love."

"Now, you can choose, Nay. You can determine all the paths of your life. If you stay afloat you will try to make amends by trying to make you happy. But, if you choose to go mas will not experience you. And I'll take responsibility for everything I've done."

"Now I have admitted my mistake. I do not know that your present race is the effect of the omnipotence or of God."

"You can decide your path now, Nay. If you survive, you will be very happy. But if you're going to go mas won't get in the way."

"If you survive then forgive me, and we start everything from scratch the right way. But if you don't, I'm still hoping for your forgiveness and I will try to bring back everything that should be your happiness."

"Mas does not want to continue sinning because it keeps you and forces your love that actually belongs to someone else. I don't want to be happy while you are not. I want a healthy bond, which we are both happy with."

Not only Kanaya's tears were spilled but Dirga's tears as well. Dirga will be sincere for everything he gets.

The hatred of Kanaya, also left behind the pain of guilt.

All have been submitted to the Creator, all the way of life is His not Dirga's.

"Think about it, Nay. And decide what you want to do. Mas won't force you," Dirga got out of bed, looking at Kanaya for a moment that looked full of disappointment.

"I'm sorry again, Nay. Mas has already inflicted so many wounds on your heart," Dirga brought her own suffering out of the room leaving Kanaya to think what decision she would take.

Dirga does not want to remain there and will become the shadow of Kanaya. Kanaya had to make up her mind not out of pity for him. Everything had to be pure that came in his heart.

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Seriate....