Romance Love Kanaya

Dirga's Suffering

'Why should this be the way. Inner suffering that is so excruciating beyond the pain that occurs in the physical. How long will this end? O God, strengthen me in carrying out this destiny of Yours.'

#Dirga Gantara

...****************...

It is not easy for Kanaya to be able to fight the fear that exists in her due to the events at that time. He still trembled as Dirga approached, but he tried hard to keep asking Dirga not to leave.

Kanaya just wants him to get used to Dirga's presence and hopefully the trauma will soon disappear.

For a few days Kanaya continued to get used to it, learning to accept all the shortcomings of Dirga and also trying to be a good wife.

Dirga also knew enough, he also never forced Kanaya to continue to accept his arrival, if Kanaya really could not resist fear then Dirga asked him to say it.

But their togetherness became awkward. Both are afraid of hurting their partner. Dirga is also afraid, if she gets too close to Kanaya she is afraid her passion will suddenly come and she can hurt Kanaya again.

That was why, Dirga was still sleeping on the sofa in the same room even though Kanaya asked to stay asleep in the bed with her.

As of now, both of them were equally awkward when entering the room after the night and wanted to take a break. Without speaking Dirga went straight to the sofa and sat there. Kanaya went to the bathroom to brush her teeth before going to bed.

Before long Kanaya came out, her face was also fresh. Kanaya glanced at the sofa and saw Dirga laying down her body in a slanted position.

"Tu_tuan ti_sleep in bed. Body, sir will be sick later," said Kanaya.

Already a husband and wife, but Kanaya still call Dirga with the call of Tuan. But Dirga didn't mind that, maybe Kanaya still needs time to get used to it. Receiving slowly will his arrival as well as his togetherness, including by changing his call.

"It's not necessary, Nay. I'll just sleep here. Now go to sleep, it's night" said Dirga.

Kanaya no longer spoke, she knew that Dirga would not sleep in bed with her even though Kanaya asked for it.

Slowly Kanaya walked towards the bed, she sat down before she finally slowly laid down her body.

"Please change the lights, Nay." Pinta Dirga.

"I_iya," Kanaya's hand immediately moved to find the switch behind the nightstand, turning off the main light and replacing the small lights on the two sides of the bed.

Silent...

Both of them were silent in their respective minds, both of them could not immediately fall asleep. Kanaya looks at the ceiling, while Dirga turns to the bed because she does not want Kanaya to see her face and will be frightened.

'O Allah, I have been sincere like this until a time I cannot determine. I'd get close if Naya had really accepted me and lost her trauma. With this alone I am happy, O God, as long as I can always see it, ' the inner Dirga who still can not sleep.

The night was getting late, but both of them could not close their eyes. Kanaya could see Dirga who she thought was already asleep. But Dirga? he can't.

Krekka...

Kanaya sat down, leaning her back on the head of the bed. His eyes focused on seeing Dirga who was no longer moving.

'O Allah, forgive me for not being able to completely dispel my fears. And now even make Mr. Dirga away. But how about it, I tried hard. O Allah, whatever you do, give me sincerity. Lead our relationship into a relationship that you Ridhoi. Eliminate my fear, and heal Lord Dirga O Allah.' inward Canaya.

Dirga's feet that moved to curl up were clearly visible in Kanaya's eyes. She thought Dirga must be cold because she didn't use the blanket properly. Kanaya got down slowly.

Though still in doubt Kanaya gets closer and envelops Dirga. Dirga who heard Kanaya's footsteps getting closer was forced to pretend to close his eyes. He didn't want to be caught if he couldn't sleep either.

Kanaya returned to bed now she had to try hard to sleep because Dirga had also slept.

And sure enough, it didn't take ten minutes since Kanaya broke her body and chanted a prayer she had already managed to pick up her dream.

Now Dirga is sitting down after seeing Kanaya who has fallen asleep. Dirga smiled, she was sure slowly Kanaya would get used to it and would accept it.

Maybe Dirga's way of having Kanaya is wrong, but her love is not wrong. His love is truly there and he will fight to get back from his love.

Suddenly a strange feeling arose within Dirga, her body heating up as she looked at Kanaya's peaceful face. Yep! there was a passion that arose within him to touch Kanaya again.

"Astaghfirullah hal azim. Hold, Ga. You can definitely hold it. Control yourself and fill your time with positive things. Throw away your dirty thoughts that want to hurt him. Hold, Ga. Hold."

Dirga desperately fought him, until finally sweat continued to flow throughout his face and body. His body trembled, the desire to touch Kanaya came back and got bigger.

His brain continued to twist the pleasure he would get by hurting Kanaya, how the cry as well as the moans and screams kept hovering in his head.

The heart as well as his lips continued to perch he continued to hold all those flavors. He wanted to be able to control the abnormality it was not his disorder that controlled him.

Until finally Dirga no longer strong hold all that and choose out of the room. If he continued in that room for sure he would not be able to control himself anymore.

Dirga ran out to the back of the house, after getting there he just plunged into the pool without taking off all his clothes.

Byurrs....

With that maybe his brain will return to work properly and will lose the unusual desires to touch Kanaya in a rude way.

"Gurghhh!" his yell.

His hand rubbed his face roughly on the side with a hand that beat the water. Her tears were flowing holding her pain.

"Why should this be, is this karma? Arghhh!" Both palms turned to cover his face tightly. Pressing him down and hoping when he opens it he'll be fine. But apparently not, he's still not good.

The happiness that should be in his path as a newlywed has now all been destroyed by what happened to him. He wants to be normal, can be like a husband in general who touches his wife with gentleness and love.

Making his wife get happiness is also the same pleasure he can, not like what happened to him, he will get pleasure but his wife otherwise he will suffer.

Dirga continued to sink his head and graft again drowning and gushing again until many times. He wouldn't go up until all those dirty thoughts were gone from his head.

The stars, the moon and the cold of the night in the midst of darkness bear witness to the suffering of a Dirga. Watching how Dirga's true suffering wanted him to hide from all the world.

So long Dirga was there, after she had calmed down she just climbed up and slowly left the pool. Luckily behind the house there was also a bathroom and there was always a towel there. Dirga took off all his wet clothes there at once again threw everything out with a shower.

Filling the time with a positive thing, Dirga decided to perform the sunnah prayer in the room earlier, and he returned there.

Praying fervently, praying to God makes him a place to complain about everything he is going through now. Continued by chanting the Quran very slowly because it does not want to make Kanaya wake up.

Slowly Dirga's drowsiness got and he put the Qur'an on the table. He just threw his body over the bed. He was calmer and comfortable there. Dirga fell asleep on the prayer mat by holding the cold due to soaking in the pool for quite a long time.

...****************...

Seriate....