Pariban So Rokkap

Stay married despite the grief

Nightmare in our extended family, especially for Netta, he did not move in the slightest from beside the corpse of the bone, until tomorrow our bones are buried.

But tomorrow, there will be our wedding party, how about next? all the invitations were scattered and the tent when the bones died was not opened again.

Life is God's secret, only God knows when man's life ends.

After that nightmare, another nightmare also came.

Netta refused to continue the marriage, I alone would not have the heart, tears are still in the eyes, how we run this marriage.

Everyone persuaded Netta to continue the arranged marriage, but she refused with tears.

“How do I want to get married, new father also buried.”

Everyone understood him, even my mistress Netta's mother was still in shock, still crying, Nantulang did not believe as a dream.

It's not about the cost of tens or even hundreds of millions already spent in preparation for our party, but it's been a huge disaster for our family.

Discordant voices like bees began to emerge from the villagers who began to gossip.

Even the lemes-mouthed people said, all bad luck for our marriage, this is a bad sign for us, even the ban to continue our marriage. 

But who knows what karma and curses are, at least people who have God still believe in God.

Mami looks hit, she many silent do not dare to express her wishes. On the one hand, she simply followed my late grandfather's will, and on the other hand how my mother continued this marriage when many people said not to go on, she was confused, not to mention the cost and the whole that was up for our wedding and our round trip fare.

No one expected it to be like this, all the families were so devastated, what else our oppung, seeing his son die before him, it was a torture in itself for Batak parents.

No more cheerfulness and laughter for a festive welcome.

 There were only hollow gazes and sad cries heard inside the house. 

The family gathered who were for our wedding, instead watching the departure of the bones into the afterlife.

Netta don't ask. The teenage girl only cried all day, lucky she had four friends, Revina, Betaria, Sina, Wati the four of them always accompanied Nettania.

The sadness of Nettania so the sadness of his friends also, no more behavior of mutual encouragement, no more laughing and whispering to each other, they also dissolve in the sadness of his best friend.

Seeing all the families no one makes a decision, when the time is left tomorrow, if tomorrow is not so everything will be in vain.

The extended family had already deliberated, but had yet to find a bright spot. The only way is for me and Netta to make a decision.

I decided to talk to Netta.

“We talked for a while ,iya,” I said take her out. His eyes look very swollen.

“If you want to talk about the wedding again, I don't want to,” he said, he refused.

“Alright, listen to me first, only you decide, I think you are not a child anymore, I think we both determine how it ends. If tomorrow we do not marry the burden of the family will increase, what has been done bones and our family will all be in vain, time, energy and money, he said, you will be stamped on the woman who failed to marry me. This is hard for you, for me too, for our family. But we have to make the right decision.”

“Bang, how do I do it, I will definitely cry on.”

“It's okay, it's natural, put it this way.. Tomorrow..if we get married, repeat at least the burden of his mind off and –“.

“I can't,” she replied looking weak, I held her hand.

“Not that you want to go to college, let's make a deal, we'll stay married, I'll support you college, let's make a deal, I will not sue you anything and not take care of you personally and you will not take care of me personally, I will help you come back every month for living expenses, without Mami tau.”

He suddenly fell silent, his eyes staring seriously.

“I don't understand the point,” said Netta looks still not connected.

“Begini... Roughly speaking, we only do weddings, you do not take care of my personal and I will support you to go to college and help the cost.”

He long thought of squeezing his back.

“Let's help our family out of this situation, if tomorrow's wedding is off, everything will get dizzy, we just pray the bone is calm on God's side,” I said.

“Good.”

“You agree’kan? So we can talk to family.”

“Good.”

Fortunately in this situation Netta can be spoken to carefully.

There are families who object and want to postpone the marriage.

There is still the mouth of the villagers who say the marriage of the unlucky bearer.

 

We entered, I deliberately grasped Netta's hand to give her strength and the other side wanted to dismiss the talk of the person who said our arranged marriage was due to coercion.

“We agreed that the wedding will be held tomorrow , I and Netta decided to continue to carry it out, not that we do not grieve over the departure of Bones, but do not want the hard work of Bones who helped prepare the party to be in vain.”

Welcomed by the family, Netta also looks tough, oppung also mama Netta tried hard.

Early in the morning all the families went to the bone tomb to ask permission. Netta looked strong, only our oppung and his mother Netta fainted several times.

Our wedding day has finally arrived, it will be a tough wedding and it will continue to be etched in our hearts,

Marriage and death will be two sides that imprint a lifetime for Nettania and me.

 Our family has no cheerful face even though they have dressed up beautiful, but they all seem still wrapped in sadness, there is no music introductory party.

The most important thing today is just to be blessed, in every event only the cry and sorrow are seen in the Church event .

Until the priest's hands finally held up above both of us. The sacred promise of life has been spoken before God and before man.

“What God has united cannot be separated Man”

I'm officially a husband. Husband for Nettania.

The wedding was accompanied by cries throughout the church.

The simple church at Huta Pandangan became our wedding venue.

 The flow of spiritual songs so the introduction of crying is getting sad for my family who participated in the blessing event.

“Don't cry anymore,” I said to Netta, I clasped her hand, though my words didn't work it was a small river of her cheeks rushing through the event.

The event that has been arranged a lot in pieces is cut out, there will be no more manottors and marembas and saweran and will no longer tone the contribution of songs to the bride. 

Only simple traditional parties that are important there (suhi ampang na opat) which in the meaning of four sides of the basket: 

*Holong: Love

*Dame:Peace

*Lasniroha:Light be glad

*Hope.

 Usually if in the village party until night sometimes until nine o'clock the night just finished.

But at this time, at the party we were not until the afternoon, because it was still covered in very deep sorrow.

Everyone's eyes looked at me and Netta so compassionately, Netta, I don't know how many tears she shed during the party.

The four friends of Netta also dissolve in sadness, Betaria who plays the role of Panaru (bride companion) we look very patient next to Netta.

All the advice we have received prayers and hopes and tears all of us went through today. 

Finally the party was over as well, relieved to feel, I felt that heavy burden was lifted. For almost two weeks in the village, I felt that I was carrying a very heavy burden.

I'm now the legal husband of a Nettania.

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