Pariban So Rokkap

When the ego is kept

I left Netta, though,

I left home, my life was completely ruined,

I left the company unemployed.

I can't have children, but a crazy woman claims to have a child from me, it's so weird I said, getting drunk and babbling and mining herself, now my life ends in a bar, now my life ends in a bar, my place is ordinary if it has experienced difficult things, which have no way out again.

My life was completely ruined, I thought I could not survive anymore, I spent days drunk, my life had no purpose anymore, if only Mami hadn't always urged us to quickly have a child, I wouldn't be like this I wouldn't have ended like this.

I've spent days outside, drunk, I can't accept that I'm a useless man, I'm ashamed of Netta and myself, for frankly speaking, I'm ashamed, all this time I thought that Nettalah had a problem, it turned out that I was having problems, what Netta said was true, I took a safety pill a long time ago, when I was in college first, he said, I didn't want Micah to get pregnant at that time, because he had previously conceded, he was pregnant when we were in college, when it was still a matter of months so we could still throw out the concoction of drugs from friends, he said, from then on, I drank it myself because Micah did not want to use safety, and did not want to take the Pill, because he was afraid of being fat, so I decided, I did it I thought it was okay.

So when we were together for years, I consumed it.

I feel like I got karma for my past actions.

When I returned to the house Netta was waiting in the living room, I was drunk usually like to babble not careless and sometimes said friends, like to throw tantrums, but I'm not aware of what I'm doing.

Right now, when Netta looked at me anxiously I approached her .

“Other wife is waiting here, what are you waiting for dear,”

I said but at that moment it was still half conscious with a staggering step.

Netta had me in bed, I was still a little aware as she changed my clothes, which already smelled a lot, from wearing them for days.

Patiently she changed my clothes, wrapped my body in a wet towel.

Usually, if I am drunk I will always act, which I often regret when I am aware, but this time, I do nothing as if the spirit in my body knows myself.

The sound of the alarm clock on the nightstand, by the bed makes me wake up, at 5:30 my habit of waking up every morning.

I was still in a sitting position, when I realized I wasn't working anymore,

already unemployed I drowned myself in a pillow continued to sleep.

It's been my fourth day so unemployed, the body that usually works, suddenly not working makes me like a madman, too much burden of thoughts that hit me, making my brain dull unable to think.

I woke up, because there was a crackling sound, when I turned to the origin of the sound, Netta broke her chicken savings, for the purposes of college maybe, since I no longer work in the family company, Netta, the usual aunt who helped us at home at the stop was also the same Netta, did not know when exactly, I did not have no savings, when I served as Director, I had set aside my own savings, I had set aside my own savings, his intention is to build his own business, want to escape from the shadow of Mami.

I can still pay for Netta's college, even though I don't serve as a director anymore.

So for the cost of college Netta need not fear, money is not my problem at this time,

“Abang is awake, here sibang absorption, want coffee what is milk bang?”

“No need, this I can still finance your needs even though I do not work anymore,”

I said give him an atm card.

“No need to Bang, I didn't ask for kok,”

netta refused it.

“Yes you did not ask , with you dismantling your chicken piggy bank it makes me have to give it to you,” poured a glass of water into the glass and sipped it to the end.

“Let's talk carefully bang,”

you want to laugh at me if I'm a useless guy?

“Not that I want to say, let's face each other, trust each other and we'll heal,”

netta.

Facing Netta like this made me lose the courage to speak, when Netta found out my secret I was ashamed and lost face.

“What do you want to say Ta?

You want to say I can't have children and you say I'm a barren man who can't give offspring, so, kan”

I started to lose my self-esteem.

“Abang do not like that, all problems will be light if we solve and we face with the problem,”

netta said looking at me gently.

“You should talk to me first Ta, when you want to do that check, instead of directly stealing something from me”

“Abang... I did not steal it, I found it from the trash, that I did for our good, Bou wanted us to have children, that insistence forced me to do it bang, please understand,”

netta said pleading.

“Netta I'm a man, I just want to be appreciated as a husband.” I said our conversation was getting hotter and mixed with emotions,

“Already, I don't want to discuss it anymore, I just want the best for us.”

Netta

“This is not the best Netta, this is even you make it difficult, when everyone thinks you can not give birth to your child just be quiet, not defend yourself, it let what try?,”

“Bang, I think it means nothing, I want us both to try to treat and solve, because I think, my brother problem also, then when the accusation is pointed at me, I think, I want us to try, let's finish with a cool head, let's work together bang”

“Keep, you want me to do what Doctor's mother? You haven't been a doctor who knows this and that, you're the new Doctor you're talking to this and that to me Netta,

from today don't talk to me about it again,”

I said with anger.

“I'm not sick, I don't have any problems, so don't be pretentious.”

“Do not like that bang I tell you this, so that our household remains intact, yesterday when from the house of bou I had wanted to give up, but I want us to be together and face together, don't let others destroy our household.”

“So you want me to do WHAT NETTA??,” I threw a glass in my hand until Netta's eyes broke in shock.

“Alright, it's up to brother, at least I have given my view, I leave for Campus.”

I was still silent and petrified, Netta had already left for college, I still maintained my ego, I did not want and did not accept when Netta accused me.

When Netta left I also went to the Doctor and checked on me.

After waiting for some time, finally the results came out what Netta said was true, What should I do?