Pariban So Rokkap

Keeping itself in the heart

Now in the room, I'm back in the brink of saturation, more and more thoughts

The clock seemed very slow to turn, my eyes could not be closed again, a lot I have done, read books, watch, play games. Sitting at my desk in front of a laptop monitor to the office, monitoring how we were working on projects, almost everything I did in this room.

But of the many that I have done, I feel the clock is still perched there.

I tried calling Netta's phone, off.

What's wrong with you Netta? why is your phone not active?

Actually, I wanted to pick her up at Campus, but my body wasn't fit yet, so I decided to wait for her until nightfall.

That's exhausting.

This time I deliberately didn't take the medicine, I wanted to see him come home at whatever time I had to see him.

I glanced at 23:00 p.m., the atmosphere of the house was quiet, as usual, because the family, ten o'clock had entered our respective rooms, and were asleep. But not so with Netta, he's still out there not knowing exactly what he's doing.

At first glance I heard the sound of a motorbike in front of our house, I thought it was just someone else, but unexpectedly Netta also came home, the sound of the gate being opened.

I'm still struggling on my desk checking reports from the office,

Creaa

The sound of our room door. Netta entered her face looking very tired, but her appearance this time was not like last night, only her lips were still in red.

Was Netta delivered by someone who was on the bike earlier? I'm back on the question.

“Abang not sleeping?” tanya Netta looked at me .

“But.” My answer is poetic.

I'm angry, but I don't know which one I'm angry about because he came home last night? Am I angry that someone brought her, or am I angry that I am disappointed, because she does not care for me when I am sick.

Hearing my tone of voice like that, he was silent, but this time he also put his bag in the closet, he seemed to be afraid that I would check his bag.

Get in the bathroom, he comes back out I'm still sitting at my desk, I want to talk to him, I want to ask him everything.

“What brother has eaten?” he asked again.

“This is what time Netta, who hasn't eaten at this time,” I said sounded even tighter.

I think it's just a pleasantries.

“I haven't eaten, eat Bang,”he said.

It turns out that he had not eaten, he brought black crackle to the table on the porch of our room, it seemed like he bought fried rice and ate it outside alone.

He considers this house like someone else's house and he puts himself as someone else as well, he never considers himself a son-in-law, and maybe Netta also thinks of me as just a figurative husband.

I was still staring at him from behind the glass window of our room.

I can't blame her so being that way, Mami's always scolding and demeaning treatment might make her act like she's someone else who just hitchhiked in this house.

What do I have to do to fix all this, chest feels tight thinking about it.

After eating, he brushed his teeth again.

“We can talk?” I said looking at him sharply.

His eyes glanced at the clock that was almost twelve at night.

“Abang what to say?” he said he looked very sleepy, actually I did not have the heart, maybe he was very tired.

“I want to talk to you a lot,” I said.

I took a deep breath, it felt like I was heavy to reveal it.

“Actually, who do you think I am anyway, Ta?.”

“Suami,” answer.

“Keep, can't we behave like husband and wife?”

He seemed confused by my request.

“Am I being rude and making mistakes?” he looked at me. His eyes were heavy and looked very tired and sleepy, but he kept trying to hear me.

“If we want to discuss it, make sure you are ready bang new we talk again and we are good to talk about it. I was so sleepy, I wanted to sleep,” he said leaving me still sitting listening to his words sound like a puzzle.

Whatdoes thatmean? Hearing him talk like that made me fall silent for a moment, what those words were for me, Netta seemed to shoot me with her words.

“Netta sit down, you speak clearly, say what you mean, do not always keep your own problems, do not assume I am just a display husband for you,” I said angrily.

He said, he sat the clock has rotated leaving the number 12, when others were already in a beautiful dream, I and Netta were involved in tension, actually only I look hot and feel my neck muscles are drawn to each other, Netta looks relaxed.

“Abang Jonathan, want me how?” said staring.

“I do not want to live this way-so continue ,Ta,” I said, my request is indeed too selfish actually, I asked him to behave as a good wife for me while I am not worthy of being called a husband for him.

“I always be polite as a wife kok bang, behave as a daughter-in-law too, keep the wrong where her ?” he asked, I was confused to answer a question back from him.

“Iya.. her fault, you have to sleep here with me,” I said too selfishly.

He rolled his eyeballs, he took a deep breath, it felt like he was heavy to talk.

“I told you, we'll talk about it when you're ready.” Said again.

“I'm ready Ta, what's wrong,” I said too pede, again he looked at me with a very deep gaze.

“Do not touch me if you have other women bang Jonathan.”

My eyes immediately glared in shock, I was shocked as he spoke like.

“Do you already know?,” I said with my heart beating faster, even my hands felt cold sweat.

“Iya, I know,” so don't discuss it again, Brother take care of your heart Brother just spoke to me,” he said he looks relaxed no burden.

I felt that he was much more mature than me, even his thoughts and attitude. It turns out that age does not determine whether adults can be adults, Netta whose age is far below my age, can behave more mature than me.

“Since when have you known it, I asked carefully, I thought maybe he knew it recently, otherwise Eva told him.

“It's been a long time, exactly since you came to the village to marry me,” he said.

“What? you mean you've known about it for a long time, meaning before we got married?”

“Iya,” he nodded.

I felt really embarrassed and really stupid, even embarrassed at Netta.

“Keep, why are you just silent?”

“Indeed I can what Bang,” he said smiling wryly.

Just this time I felt embarrassed and felt very low and humiliating.

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