Pariban So Rokkap

Feeling guilty trying to cut corners

People say that waiting is the most exhausting job.

After the incident that day, Auntie came to ask Netta to be her daughter-in-law, she asked as if Netta was an item, Fortunately Auntie's children did not agree with Aunt's plan.

Netta had already signed the white paper stamped, just a hand-scrap from me, it was finished our story and Netta, but I didn't want to do it, I wanted our life story to be etched forever to old. Until whenever I won't part with Netta, I will fight even harder to convince Netta.

Since hearing Edo call the German Bule handsome, I feel half my soul drifting, my mind is chaotic, I don't want to be like this, I plan to try to catch Netta to Germany, I've prepared all, I've prepared all, I've asked Lina the newlywed to take care of my passport.

I decided to meet him in Germany, I tried again to Netta Campus, but from the Campus forbid the family to come, because they live in a dormitory provided by the Campus in Germany, which is not the case, only allowed to communicate via video call, even hours and days and time are limited, can not be called at the time of course hours.

My wish was finally delayed, because the Netta Campus forbade families to come because those who left there were –selected people from the Campus who were funded by the State, and were willing not to go to the family, he said, the rules for them are very strict, I could have gone to see him, if the address problem where he lives, just ask for the KBI who is there, but I think again, I think again, if I came and managed to meet Netta, but in the end he got in trouble because of my arrival, the scholarship was revoked and he got a reprimand, I don't want him to get in trouble, I don't want him to get into trouble, he had fought desperately to pursue his ideals, I did not want to be selfish, I finally I canceled my plan.

I just left the campus some money for the fee he would use during his stay in Germany, Netta's number could no longer be reached.

I sat staring at the signed paper, all the bad thoughts came to me, Netta's news was as handsome as Edo's word made me not excited, even my work was in a mess, but, what can I do? I will only accept Netta's decision later.

Although my life would be ruined a second time later if he did not return, but I will try this time waiting patiently for him.

At 07:00 in the morning.

In room.

Today my body feels very heavy to go to the office, I am excited to build a company and rise because of Netta, but at this time the spirit seems to start to disappear, as if, when Edo called Netta glimpsed many handsome bule.

Netta can make me broken, Netta also makes me excited.

That morning, when the sun was working to fulfill his duties, I still hugged the bolster that always accompanied me every night.

Tok ..Tok …!

“This is Papi Tan, can I come in?”The sound of a papi behind the door.

“Iya Pi enter only.”

“Are you not feeling well Tan, just rest if you are not feeling well, so Papi who replaces you to the office,” said Papi attentively.

“Not Pi is just lazy anymore, want to sleep.”

“Do you think about it?“

“Iya.”

“If you believe in your feelings you must defend them, keep praying and improve yourself even better,” said papi giving advice.

“The problem is, he cannot contact Pi, his number is no longer active.”

“Trust me, Netta is smart, she's a good boy, Papi believes her, she'll come back to you,” said Papi, as if he had any guarantee that Netta would come back to me,

as a child, I wanted to believe in Papi, but a part of this heart. Waiting for Netta to come home in such a heavy situation.

“I don't want to go to the office first Pi, more thoughts.”

“Ok, it's okay Son, just rest, let papi who replaced you in the office, Papi also has long not stopped there, Restaurant today again in use for weddings, Papi also has a long time to stop by, so not so busy,”ujar Papi.

While chatting with Papi, the knock on my door was heard again,

Sister Eva came, she looked at me with anxious eyes, I know that, they must all be worried about me, they must be afraid I go back crazy and run away and become a street bully, they know, but I won't do that again.

I learned from the mistakes I've made, ruining life will not be able to solve the problem, using the devil's goods, when there is a problem will not be able to forget the problem, what is making the problem even bigger, hurt the hearts of the closest people at that time, causing Mami to be sick.

The only path as a man is better to face and live alone.

“Tan, did you make the words Edo and Aunt a burden on your mind again?”

“That's for sure sis,” I replied honestly, better to be honest and various mind burdens with the closest people so that the load feels light.

“Try you phone again, “ucap kak Eva gave a suggestion.

“It is not active, then that I become dizzy kak,” I said.

Eva took her phone out of her pocket, called Netta, but the result was nil, nothing, not even the number was active anymore.

“Iya..inactive.”.Sister Eva looked at me with a pityful look.

As we chatted in my room, Arnita's voice rang out to my room, calling Mami.

I ran down, it turned out Mami suddenly her condition dropped again, she had convulsions with pupils look white from the mouth removing foam.

“Mami ….!

Let's take him to the hospital,” shouted Eva, she knew the condition and disease of Mami, because it was part of her work for decades.

Quickly I took out my car, Papi carried Mami into the car, Sister Eva also entered, we fled Mami to the hospital, fortunately the road is not jammed today, so we can quickly give help before it's too late, not how long it finally arrived at the hospital, brought to the room, some doctors immediately handle Mami.

The three of us were sitting limp outside the room, the hands seemed slow to turn, almost an hour we waited outside, we had not heard from Mami, not long after, a female doctor finally came out of Mami's room.

“What happened, Doctor?”

“Mother is resting, She has passed her critical period, seems to be taking medicine with a lot of doses, is there a problem at home? Is your mother not being watched?” The woman's doctor's gaze made us look at each other also confused, because Mami was always in the supervision of Eva's sister.

“What doctor mean? My mommy trying-“

“Iya, most likely, because there are several drugs that enter, there is not even a connection with the disease in the current affliction.”

Sister Eva seemed to not believe hearing Mami take that much medicine, we never thought that Mami was so desperate.

“I shouldn't have told Mami earlier,” sister Eva said.

“Indeed brother said what?” I'm curious.

“So I said you had a lot of thoughts because Netta did not return to Indonesia, at that time Mami just kept quiet, I should not leave her,” Eva said crying as she pleased.

“Already Nang... already, it's okay, we should not blame ourselves, from now on let's support each other,” said Papi rubbed the shoulders of Eva's sister.

Seriate....