Pariban So Rokkap

Have You Never Loved Me?

I'm still quiet and petrified, Netta has gone to college I still maintain my ego,

I didn't want to and didn't accept when Netta accused me.

When Netta left I also went to the Doctor and checked.

After waiting for some time the results finally came out as well,

what Netta said is true.

What am I supposed to do?

When the results came out and I knew all the facts, I couldn't stand it anymore, I wanted to calm down, I wanted to disappear from all my family's demands, a heavy request that I couldn't fulfill.

Not even did my heart subside with all this bitter reality, suddenly Mami called to her wish of having grandchildren.

This time Mami used drama to cry, I know for sure Micah has carried out his plan.

My head hurts. Can't stand to walk alone anymore, the matter is lined up coming at me without a break.

I had to come to Mami's house again, wanted to talk as is, wanted to talk honestly to Mami.

“Jonathan you've left the Company, I want you back, but must marry Micah,”

Mami said, Mami only thought of herself without seeing me who was almost crazy.

“Sorry Mi , I can't, don't reveal it again with Micah, it's not my son.”

“You Jonathan, you are a fool, there is a woman who gives you a child

why did you refuse him, Mami doesn't want to know you have to marry him, she doesn't need anything, so she wants a second wife, I didn't tell you to divorce Netta, I know it's very hard, Netta also cannot give children.

Mami thinks she doesn't mind, Mami just wants to have a grandchild from you, that's all she wants to do, Mami,”

he said with a face and a show of crying.

Mami gave me no room to talk and to explain, while I had no more energy just sitting there.

“I don't want to do it, don't force me Mi, I don't want to do anything at the moment.

I left the house and ended up at the Bar again.

I went back to Netta's house, she took good care of me, she knew I was hit, she didn't show me the slightest anger, she patiently took care of me.

I don't think it should go on like this, it means I hurt Netta indirectly.

“I want to work outside the City,” said I approached Netta who was sitting relaxing.

I knew it was one tough decision, Netta looked at me with a gaze, weighing.

“When?”

ask Netta

“Maybe two more days.”

“Alright if brother wants it like do it.”

“You don't want to ask who I am, what job is outside which city?

Is it natural for a wife, Actually you love me, is not it, Ta?

All this time I felt you were just doing it, now be honest with me have you ever loved me?”

“Why do you even ask that anyway?”

“Now I ask you one more time. Do you love me?”

Netta looked silent, there was doubt in her eyes.

“Yes that's a nonsensical question, Bang, we're married, right?”

ask Netta.

“No, no, I want you to be honest with me, do you love me?” insist once again.

“Iya-a-a sure,” Netta's answer looks very doubtful, I know she's lying, I know she's hiding the real answer.

“Alright, now I change the question.

Do you believe me?”

Netta again looked doubtful, at that moment I felt stupid, I should have known that from the beginning Netta was not a fool, who easily forgave the mistakes of others easily.

“No, I don't believe,”

said Netta admitted finally, I do not believe in brother Nathan, I'm the type of person who does not easily believe in others,” he finally admitted it.

“Terus…! all this time we've been living married life, don't you trust me one bit?”

Netta rubbed the back of her hand, looking at me doubtfully.

“I only live this relationship on the basis of marriage, because we are married, maybe I trust brother but maybe not much.”

“What? is that all?” I said looking very disappointed, how not, when I believe 100 percent, maybe if there is more than a hundred percent maybe, I more than that believe it, I trust Netta in everything, I trust Netta in everything, I even trusted my life to her.

But Netta was exactly the opposite, she didn't trust me in the least.

“iya , I don't want to be hypocritical and lie to brother.”

“As of the time Micah came here claiming to be pregnant with my son, but can you believe that it's not my son?”

“That's-because I already know that brother can't have children, for now.”

“What!? that means you never believed and you didn't love me. Netta?”

My toot.

“Jagan misunderstood-me-“

“Iya! you just used me to fund your college, right?”

“Kok so so?”

“If I hadn't told you I didn't pay for your college it meant you didn't want to marry me then, right?

Crazy I'm so embarrassing right now.

I didn't expect that I would be this kind of whiny guy, all my life this time I cried, I couldn't help but feel like, when I love Netta so much right now, I love Netta so much, I just found out that Netta doesn't have any feelings for me.

I couldn't prevent the water from spilling, as fast as lightning I removed that sign of weakness from my face,

because I think a crying man is a weak man, that's what I think.

Saw that

Netta lowered her head, she seemed to feel guilty, but that was not what I wanted, I wanted the honesty and openness of Netta.

“I just want your honesty Ta, is that true?

If I didn't offer support for your college then, you wouldn't have married me, would you?’

“At that time, yes bang, because from the beginning I already knew that brother has a lover, so I don't think anything else.”

I felt my chest hot, I wanted to feel like I was yelling, I let out a hot emotional overflow in my chest. I felt my chest want to explode.

“You are a great woman Ta, I admit, you are a great woman, great can make someone feel broken, you endured all this time with me without love, without trust in me.”

“What brother expects love from me?”

“What is wrong?

Can't I expect love from a woman who's already my wife?”

“I don't know,”

Netta said, her face with a flat gaze, I can't guess what she's thinking, making me even more agitated.

“I'm surprised Ta, I didn't expect that during our stay in one household, I fell in love with you because of your attention and patience Ta, you're the one who actually made me aware, you know, I really like the attention you give me, I really like how you respect me as a husband, I fall in love with you, I like what you give me.

But I did not expect that my Love and feelings had not been reciprocated, you did all that for an obligation in the law of marriage, it true’? it means that all this time you defended me, keeping my pride was all due to obligations, Ta?”

“I'm sorry, if I'm wrong Bang,”

netta.

Geez all this time he never loved me, the attention he gave me was only an obligation as a wife, not because he loved me.

“Do people like me not deserve to be loved. Ta?”

“I'm sorry,” said Netta again.

Seriate