Mama For Mikaela

SIXTY TWO

For many years, Segara has never again touched the name of alcohol. Although only a mouthful, even though only as a formality when he was attending a meeting with several colleagues. His persistence to look after Micah and ensure that the child is always safe has made Segara a much healthier and more regular person.

But tonight, so tangled was the head and he no longer knew who to talk to since Arkana decided to go to take care of his own problems, he said, Segara had no choice but to chug down a can of beer he bought on his way home after delivering Pamela to his new apartment.

The workspace where he downed beer in complete darkness. The yellowing light he used to at least help him to keep reading the writing in the file he did not touch the switch at all. As if he wanted to isolate himself, Segara really let the darkness hold him so tightly.

The beer in the can is still half left, deliberately he slow down so as not to run out quickly because if that happens, he must open a new one. Segara did not want that to happen, because he should not be too drunk to avoid other things that are out of control.

This afternoon, Segara went to Nurdin's funeral, watching as the man's corpse, which had been forgiven, was lifted by several people and then put into a burrow. During the funeral procession, he was also treated to a sad scene in which Nurdin's mother, who was sitting in a wheelchair, wailed, lamenting the departure of the firstborn in which she hung her life. While Nurdin's younger brother, who numbered 3 people (all women), aged 21, 18, and 13 years, could only sit limp next to the man's belly button. Their eyes were all swollen, but the tears were no longer pouring because they seemed to have squeezed out.

Segara rubbed his face rough, hoping that the sad scene from the funeral this afternoon could go along with the punishment he made many times. Nurdin's death was beyond his will, but he still felt sinful. If the man had not decided to open his voice, he might still be alive today.

If only, this was only as if he could have imagined. Had he stopped fighting for the truth behind Karenina's passing, would this damned bastard have stopped bothering those around her? Because come to think of it again and he began to untangle the common thread, all the misfortunes that befell Papa, the terror that came to Pamela and Nurdin's death all started from his stubbornness seeking justice for his late wife.

Is... this bastard really only wanted to snatch Karenina, and make her accept the death of the woman as God's destiny alone, without being allowed to find out the truth?

“Pak?”

The call made Segara turn his gaze towards Lana who was standing in the doorway of the study. The wide-open door made the light beam from inside his bedroom glow in, ending a dark-eighth session that had lasted for almost 3 hours.

“Can I log in?”

“Please.” Said Segara while nodding his head. The rest of the beer in the can he finally spent in one throat, leaving an empty can that he held tightly.

Lana walked over, then stopped right in front of Segara's messy desk. Some files look scattered, the picture frame that should be displayed neatly in the corner is also in the prone position, too, and what makes him more convinced that the condition of Segara is not okay is the existence of a beer can in the man's grasp.

“That night, I don't want to sleep?” lana asked, starting the conversation after a few seconds of silence attacked.

“I haven't drowned.” Segara replied with a straight look towards the beer can in hand. “Miss Lana sleeping first aja.” Reciprocity.

“Udah night, Sir. Tomorrow you have to go to the office, so you should sleep now. I'll sleep in my room tonight, so—“

“Not that the problem.” Segara Cut. Finally, he raised his head. Her net was fixedly staring at Lana's innocent face, watching every inch of the features on the woman's face intently. “I just want to drink this, so come here.” Tapping his finger at the beer can he held.

“Miss,”

“Ya?” Lana took her eyes off the beer can, looked back at Segara.

“You want me to drink?” take out two more cans of beer from the drawer.

...****************...

Eight cans of beer they spent both in the Segara workspace. Lonely friends who are so familiar, interspersed with sad stories from their poignant days in the past.

Segara downed 5 cans, but strangely, he did not feel drunk at all. Even when the time has shown at 4 am and he should have gone to the room to sleep even if only a few hours, he was even at home sitting on the floor, listen to the story Lana shared for the first time after they got married.

“At first I was angry too, sir. I did not accept when the police closed the accident case that befell me and my parents on the grounds that the suspect also died.” Lana took a deep breath before continuing. “But, as time went on, I started to resign. I began to shift my point of view a little, thinking that no one in the world would want to be in that driver's position. Everything happened so aja, without any element of intentionality, make me finally think that well. The age of both my parents was only up to that day, and it just so happened to be the way he had to pass the sleepy driver.”

“What made Miss Lana get to that point? I mean, the point where Miss Lana started to be able to accept everything and think that everything that happened was just as simple as that her destiny was already so?”

The question made the corner of Lana's lips be interested a little. “As the only person in the car who survived, I suffered such a great trauma. To overcome this, I must be diligent to go to a psychiatrist and consume various kinds of drugs with different doses. Every night in certain months, I would routine nightmares. While in the days approaching the anniversary of the death of both my parents, I will be too sensitive with the name rain and lightning.” In the past days, remembering the worst phase of her life would make Lana cry. But tonight, it was as if he was letting himself walk towards the exit he had been looking for all this time.

“My years are like that, sir. Until one day, my psychiatrist told me this; ‘The ones who stay should stay put. Those who are still breathing must live. Because there, somewhere invisible to the human eye, those who have already left are waiting for the time to regroup’. I had misinterpreted the remark as a sign that I should have gone to catch up with them sooner, until my psychiatrist explained that it meant, I had to hang on to get to a time where I could meet my parents again. Suicide is a big sin, and if I do, I will not be able to go to a place where my parents are waiting.”

The moment when Lana turned her head and her gaze rubbed against Segara's, the smile that rose on her lips became even more sincere. “I want to meet again with the people I love, therefore I survive. And the first step I have to take to survive is to accept the situation, to try to understand that everything on earth moves by God's will. Because he said, not a single drop of water can fall from the sky if God gives permission.”

“Losing our loved ones is painful, sir. But as the sun still has to shine again after the rainstorm hit all day, our lives must also keep going.”

Life must go on. Segara had heard the advice a million times, if he had not miscalculated. But of the many people and the many forms of delivery, inexplicably it was Lana who managed to touch his heart. Either because they have the same fate until Segara knows that the sympathy that Lana has is honest, or just as simple as that the woman is always able to move the hearts of others with her attitude and words.

“So, sir, let's hang on. Let us live our best lives for those who have gone home first, also for those who are still living. Let's be strong together.”

Seriate