Mama For Mikaela

FIFTEEN

"Daycare is active from what time to what time?"

Arkana turned his head as Segara's voice went on the air. He saw the man looking straight ahead with one hand going into the pocket of his pants while the other moved slowly squeezing the cigarette which was originally clasped between his fingers. If considered more carefully, the man's jaw began to harden, revealing the muscles around the neck area that protruded more clearly than usual.

"Hours 9 to 5. Special Micah, I ask for an hour extension, until 6. Just in case your work at the office is still not done and must be late to pick up Micah." Arkana. He saw Segara nod, but the man still did not take his eyes off.

"Lo's sure daycare is safe, huh?"

"Safe." Arkana. Because he wouldn't recommend that daycare before figuring out the ins and outs of it in depth. For to him, Micah was not just a nephew born from the womb of his dead brother. More than that, Micah for Arkana is half his breath that cannot be lost.

Arkana heard Segara sigh. Then the shapeless cigarette was placed next to his cigarette butt that had been extinguished since minutes ago. The man then turned his head, only to make his throat choked because in both eyes the man no longer saw a bright twinkle.

"okay." That's all Segara said.

But that one word was enough to make Arkana understand. So, after finishing his cigarette until the last suction, he moved slowly to remove the phone from his pocket *****.***** instantaneously, the phone was connected and he immediately broke into a chat with someone across the phone, while Segara could only quietly listen.

Shortly after, the phone was cut off. Arkana put the phone back in her pants pocket before leaving Segara after saying a few words.

"The matter of Micah is clear, yes? If I'd have said it now. There's still other business I need to take care of." Then he actually left.

Minutes after Arkana's departure, Segara was still reluctant to move from his place. To be honest, deciding to leave Micah to daycare was not the solution he felt was right, because for a long time he could no longer believe in just anyone. But for now, he has no other choice because in fact the closest people he believes also still have a gap to make his sense of disbelief re-emerged.

Segara breathed heavily. Again. Cold ambushed his body as the wind suddenly blew louder than before, as if to drive himself away from there immediately. Perhaps, even the wind was sick of seeing his current poor appearance. Perhaps he was so broken that there was no place for him to go but those he loved.

With a gontai step, Segara moved. He left cigarette butts there, along with the anxiety that he hoped would not see him again for quite a long time. After making sure the connecting door of the room with the balcony was well locked, he walked towards Micah's room.

However, his steps never reached the little girl who was sleeping on the mattress, because her legs suddenly felt weak and she fell to the floor in a dramatic motion. The yellowish lights that were illuminated in Micah's room made him feel more shock as his eyes traced each side of Micah's face that looked so plain and pure.

Secretly, he again cursed at the fate that had brought him down into this damn misery. More than that, he cursed fate for making his little girl grow up without the affection of a mother.

Tonight, accompanied by a quiet kemuning lamp, under the shade of a roof that no longer feels warm, Segara cried. He wailed, swore, and prayed occasionally for awakening because on several occasions, he felt that this was all just a prolonged nightmare.

...****************...

Last night, having been content to cry over the damn fate that had plagued him, he walked straight to his desk. Only to cry more when the photo displayed on the side of his desk again presents a longing that lately he silenced so as not to scatter out.

Without Segara realizing it, Micah had been standing in the doorway of his study, watching how his father slept in an uncomfortable position until finally the man woke up and pensively long enough to look at the picture frame in front.

Once again, Micah was too small to understand what kind of situation his father was in, but all the sadness and fret that Segara felt was in fact up to the boy, evidently when Micah decided to quietly observe how his father was trying to control himself instead of whining as he did when he woke up and did not find his father beside him.

Micah was about to return to his room, intending to continue his sleep which paused when Segara's hoarse voice made his movements stop. The boy turned around, unable to resist the urge to tear as Segara walked towards him and immediately crouched down to align their body positions. The man's big hand touched Micah's head, rubbing it slowly until the cry that Micah had been holding back finally broke as well.

Micah splashed into Segara's arms, crying in the chest of his father's field while occasionally smelling the scent of his father's body which this time felt different. There was a musty smell of cigarette smoke lingering on her father's shirt, but once again Micah was too small to identify the strange smell. As Micah knew, his father's scent had changed.

"Hey, why?" Segara pushed Micah's body slowly, only to make him see the tiny face more clearly.

The one asked was silent, busy wiping away the tears that still continued to flow with her small hands.

"Why wake up, hm? Micah's a nightmare?" she asked, helping her little girl wipe away the tears with her big hands.

The boy nodded, inviting heavy breaths escaped from the sides of his lips. The taste of tobacco still lingered on the tip of his tongue, making him grimace when he realized Micah had just sucked the remnants of cigarette smoke stuck to his shoulder.

At once, Segara also condemned his stupidity that had failed to control himself. Shouldn't be, he's not as stuffy as that damn cigarette. Micah did not need to suck out the rest of his smoke and he could keep Micah's lungs healthy so that this little girl could live longer.

"What dream, honey?" Segara patiently waited until Micah's sobbing subsided.

Then when the stuffing had completely subsided and her breathing had stabilized again, the girl began to tell stories.

"Mikha dreams of Opa, Oma and Daddy gone. Om Ar is gone too. Micah everyone's dream is gone and there's only Micah left alone in this house."

"It's ok, it's just a dream. Daddy's not going anywhere. Oma, Opa same Om Ar is also not going anywhere. We'll be here with Micah, so there's nothing you need to worry about." Segara grabbed Micah's small body, clutching it tightly as if he didn't want a single second to be missed. He wanted to hold Micah as much as he could, saying how much he loved this child until his mouth froze. Because Micah's all he has now.

"It's ok, Micah. Daddy's here, it's ok."

Seriate