Don't Want to Be Pathetic: NIGHT BUTTERFLIES
Section 62
.
.
.
" How does it feel to be associated with feeling restless? even fret? but reality forced itself to look fine. Any attempt to force yourself to enjoy it, still the feeling can not be lied to. Not enjoying, but it hurts. Is this real life?" in his mind at the top of the game that made Ira's body even more uncomfortable, because the man's sweat that was pouring washed over him.
Maybe the man's treatment was good, because he was always gentle. But still, dealing with comfort and relating to volunteering or love is different. Either they already know but don't care, or maybe they don't know and trust that the woman who sells her tub*h to men will enjoy the relationship?
The man sitting next to her looked at Ira who immediately went to the bathroom to clean up.
"Are you in a big hurry?" tanyanya stood behind Ira gently rubbed her shoulders which had already returned from the bathroom.
"For a moment" he answered wearing clothes.
"Indeed not. But can I be honest?" sitting on the bed, brushing her hair.
"Is there a problem?"
"Shall I quit school and work? or maybe married? if things don't change, I'll stay like this, won't I?" tanyanya looked at the man.
"No, you don't quit school and don't get married. Because you live by choosing a shortcut, it does not mean you will solve your problems the same way. Are you sure life will be better after making that decision? don't waste the pain that almost killed you" he asked with two eyes staring with confidence.
"Then until when? do you think I'll just shut up with a life like this? do you think I'm not looking for a job? maybe you know, what jobs will be obtained by students after school? while soon I will even work, which even my freedom will be limited. Then?"
"Look, it might be true that if you quit school and work, life would be better. But is there not the slightest bit of pity for yourself? as far as your journey with all the pain should end with quitting school? maybe you should keep in mind that the thing that made you this woman was originally because of school fees, right? if it has to end, then why did you go to school? maybe you won't go this far" he said, leaving Ira speechless.
"That's true, but what I think now isn't about school. How do I get out of this dark life? do you know what it's like to face those who give me an intimidating look? and you know just now how bad my name is in everyone's ears. So if until all that is known by them, can you imagine how my future will be? there was not even any clarity at all." the woman's body softly felt limp.
"Hmmhh,, listen! be patient, you'll soon be graduating from school. Your journey is still long, now try to behave as usual by not caring about others. They don't know anything" he said holding Ira's hands. "Maybe what you're doing is wrong, but you're innocent."
"Haha I'd love to feel angry at the person who always tells me to be patient, do you think I'm not trying to be patient? hear me! if this is my destiny, but can't I fight this fate?" he said he took off the man's hand and wiped the tears that had fallen down his cheek.
"Is there any man who lives well through the path he has planned? you probably know, even something well planned can be destroyed instantly if it's not the fate line."
"I asked, can we as human beings not fight against destiny?" ask him who is not satisfied.
"Can, by imposing your plan and against destiny. But am I ready to face everything? you do have reality, but Allah has certainty." his short answer made the woman freeze.
"Look! this world is real. Life is not fair to everyone, and you are not one of them. Already, we end this conversation." kiss her forehead and go clean up. The gentle treatment of the man gave him peace of mind when the feelings were filled with anger. Now he can see, not only his treatment but maybe he is a good father to his son.
"We have reality and God has certainty." he muttered repeating the man's words.
The chest that felt tight now slowly improved, if not the man maybe Ira would not have said everything.
"You'll be fine soon" he said, igniting a roko.
He just replied with a smile. Repeatedly sighing long, so that the feeling gets better again. Otherwise, this pain will drag on and the thought of a bitter life will destroy everything. After all what the man said was true, the decision he would take now did not guarantee life would be better in the future.
**
Before he boarded the car parked under the mango tree, his eyes suddenly glared at a middle-aged man standing in front of a room staring at him.
The woman stiffly looked at the man who was none other than the BK teacher in her Junior High. He froze not knowing what to do, if he who saw it might be able to avoid. But this time it was the man who looked at her first.
"Sir Danu?" he nodded straight into the car.
"What the hell's he doing here?" he said in a panic looking back at him standing up but the man was no longer there.
"Huhhh, just jerk off. Why should it be this sweet? no, we have nothing to do. You fucking teacher!" he said repeatedly looking in that direction.
"Tok tok!!" the man came back by tapping on the car window.
"Why?" tanyanya sit.
"Oh, can you walk now?"
Without answering he turned on the car engine and slowly drove away from the place.
Ira who was still uncomfortable repeatedly looked back curiously, is it really the man or not? but in his heart he felt confident that it was true that the man was his Junior High School teacher.
"Why? looks panicked." she asked.
"It seems I saw someone very familiar." she replied speechlessly looking straight ahead.
"If you see someone you know trying to calm down, if you panic you'll lose your mind" he said.
"Yes I'll try." The woman's real short answer was not to hear clearly what she was saying. His mind was still left there recalling the relationship between him and the man's teacher.
"Not everything I have to remember. Already, he would just destroy everything." he murmured.
"Why?" asked the man a little to hear Ira's words.
"No."
"Where are you going in the anterin?"
"In the direction of the school, it will be picked up equally temen" he said
They were silent for a moment. Ira's feelings that were already feeling better, now became restless. Again and again, there was not the slightest bit of calmness in his life.
If it is not his attitude that does not care, a lot of things that interfere with the mind and become a bantin pressure for him. Maybe some time he can forget, but if one day he thinks back it will open a wound that is trying not to be felt. Because if you treat a wound, it's impossible.
*****
