Don't Want to Be Pathetic: NIGHT BUTTERFLIES
Section 33
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The woman did not stop by to see grandma, she went straight home.
Standing in front of the door, "Forgot the key, definitely the key" he said thinking between knocking or calling his mother.
"Krieker!" His mother opened the door.
"Where are you from?"
"There's promise!" get into the house.
His mother held Ira's hand "Gue asks where are you from?" while staring.
"Find the pleasure for yourself. Why anyway? I usually never care!"
"Gue Denger lo is invited as different as an old guy!"
"Why is that why?"
"Lo gapain? be embarrassed!"
"Other people just care what I do. They don't know anything!"
"So the prostitute*r lo?" ask mother.
Ira's heart jolted as her body trembled, she lost strength as if her legs could not help her to remain standing.
"May a mother say such a thing to her child." smilingly covered her increasingly claustrophobic chest.
"Where do you have money?"
"Where can you buy a motorcycle from?" staring Ira.
"Sampe lo can give adek lo snacks and meet all your needs? I ask?"
"Yes! I'm self-dec. Wh why? no need to be surprised, right?"
His mother looked at ira with an emotional look and glazed over.
"Have you ever thought about my school fees? have you ever thought that I have needs too? never, is it?"
"What if the people out there know? not only are you ashamed of me, but grandma is also Grandpa. Think dong!" shouted mother.
"Haha I asked you, have you ever thought about how I eat? what am I eating the same? my school fees?"
"Lo? I don't work. Ask your father!"
"Oh because mom doesn't work so don't have to know anything about it? do you have a husband? he also has to take the same responsibility of the children of mothers, not mothers who actually escape the responsibility of gini-rich!" shout Ira.
"Emang you think I want to live rich gini? I don't know how much it hurts to have to deal with a guy your age just for money!"
"If not who else? think not mom? school fees and needs are not all should be the same for grandparents. Do you know what it feels like to worry about being as happy as your own family? without thinking of us. Just because my sisters and I are still alive, so you feel like there's no hardship we're going through until you nelantarin we're gini rich!"
"Pllaakk" His mother slapped Ira.
"Did you think I didn't think?"
Ira held her cheek and looked at her mother.
"Mom knows that father wouldn't even have met his son if we hadn't been looking for him. While mom always behaves cool and cold. I know we are not confused without direction and purpose. If there's a problem we don't know who to complain to? we don't know who to ask for help with? we lie if we're okay. We lie if we're strong."
"If suicide is not a sin, I might have died long ago! I don't care if people hate me, because I hate myself. I'm disgusted by myself. I didn't ask to be born into this world if it was like this. I'm cape! I cape the same all the affairs that I have to bear alone! I'm afraid crazy!!" Ira shouted her emotions exploded, she didn't care if others found out.
"Lo think I want to live gini? if I know finally lo will be rich gini I also have mengelahirin lo. I don't kill when you're in the womb. Die there!!" his yell.
"That's not how you talk to a kid!" granny's scream on the doorstep stopped the debate.
"You should as a mother you realize they're gini because of lack of upbringing and affection instead of telling the child to die!" grandma embraces Ira taking her out of the house.
Ira silently patted her chest which was tight withstanding the pain making it difficult to breathe.
"Not his mother, not his father, just as no one cares about the child. That's outrageous!" said grandma rubbed Ira's shoulder walking towards grandma's house.
"Did grandma hear Ira's talk to mom?"
"No! grandma went there because she heard a squabble. But I can't believe your mother said something like that."
Ira sat quietly in front of the house. Is it true that Grandma didn't hear all these words? or maybe he heard but chose silence not to aggravate the situation? he must have heard it.
"Miss?"
"Why? already! yuk's in the night."
"Ira wants to go by herself, Ira's gone, right?"
Grandma remained silent. He wanted to hold Ira back but he knew she needed time to calm down over the quarrels that had taken place, especially the rude words spoken by her mother.
"When you want to go back in, the door is not locked."
"It's simple in the refrigerator for the brothers tomorrow." gave satay that had been held by Ira.
"Grandma come in first!"
Without asking much he went inside leaving his granddaughter sitting in front of the house alone.
*
Ira got up from her seat walking towards the beach alone. He forgot the fear from the dark forest along the way and his body did not feel the cold sea breeze piercing to the bone.
The woman was sitting by the beach looking towards the vast sea.
"You are an ordinary man. Be patient, I love you." she hugged herself.
"Hahaha, that's so funny! Haha." Ira laughed at what her mother had said. His tears flowed profusely down his cheeks and fell on the arms that were hugging both of his shoulders.
"You don't know how hard I fought to maintain my sanity!"
"Dad? you tau? it's paining. It hurts so much! what about grandma? I let her down! I feel so ashamed to see my grandparents. What am I gonna do? dad you know? he hurt me with his words. It hurts so much! what should my father do now? help me dad? huuhuhuhiks hiiks!" the woman was crying loudly.
After a few minutes she cried loudly, her emotions began to subside even though her chest still felt tight.
Saw the watch at exactly 01:02 a.m.
*Duut duut duut* his phone vibrates.
Call from Ari.
"Yes?"
"Well asleep?"
"Not yet!"
"Where is it noisy?"
"Have you come home from work?"
"I asked!"
"...."
"Just get home, don't get out of town."
"Why?"
"Crying yes?"
"Now haha."
"Why?"
"Haha sick vow. So ill. It's a sesek chest!" crying while holding his voice.
"I'll pick it up now!"
"No need."
"I'm there wait!"
"I'm not home!"
"On the beach behind the house, right?"
"...." - ".Ira was silent from where did Ari know?
"I'm there!" ended call.
"From the beginning you've always been my pen. Especially now that I have a relationship with you. Then what if you knew everything and stayed away from me? who will I lean on? who will understand me? W-Alloh let him and his feelings just for me, not for now, but until later." he said staring at the vast dark sky without any stars.
*****
