Don't Want to Be Pathetic: NIGHT BUTTERFLIES
Section 52
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Afternoon before dusk. The woman came out of her room standing in the doorway staring at the sky covered in coconut trees, from the sidelines of the leaves a look mega colored orange filled the sky.
"If life would stay like this? do I have to make peace with the pain? ignoring it without treating? if I could do it now, would it be okay in the future?" sighing deeply, "If not a single human being understands and is willing to help treat this wound, maybe I should do it alone" he continued speaking to himself inwardly.
Sitting on the porch of the house looking around, Ira realized that her mother's motorbike which was usually parked beside was not there. Maybe he's gone, because no one else will be on that bike but his mom.
"How does it feel to be on good terms with a mother? how can others talk about their love affair with their mother?" Ira smiled, how could she think that while the relationship between these two humans is not good?
In silence the woman thinks back, is she a selfish woman if she is indifferent like this to the madam who waits for news but she does not care?
"Why did I forget to say the same to him? I don't care if he's angry. Buty? if in a long time he has found a new person and I come back again? isn't it shame to call her later? so far he's a good guy who's not stingy."
The woman realized that this time she was guilty, after all, which man would be willing to leave suddenly? especially in this case actually Ira himself who really needs it, there are rarely men who are in contact with only one woman. If the madam went and turned away, she herself would find it difficult.
"But what cares about me? are you trying not to come back? but, what if I can't and will come back? uhhh!" rubbed his face and went into the room.
Looking at her phone, there were no messages or calls from Ari.
"Is the man really angry? the problems in life are complicated, why do people make it more complicated?" he said while calling someone.
"Tuut tuut!!" it wasn't Ari that he contacted, but that madam.
"Yes? what's up?" a man answered.
"Where are you?" ask Ira.
"At home, how?"
"Huh? why is it answered? where's your wife?" astonished, how could a man answer a call from his mistress while she was at home?
"He's out, what's up? you changed your mind?" ask directly at the point.
"No, just realize that this time I'm guilty of not telling you about this before. Pardon you? you mad?" he said he felt a little uncomfortable and waited for his answer.
"When you need you and suddenly you say you won't meet, of course I'm angry. But it's okay, I understand maybe you're busy at your school. You're going to PKL soon, aren't you?" unexpected answer, for the first time they spoke well unhurriedly like this.
"Yes, again sorry. As long as I don't call you, you can get in touch with other women. I don't mind." she said feeling more comfortable this time.
"I'll try, will you? the woman is back" he said he meant to his wife.
"Yes thank you." Ira ended her call.
Sighing, he felt a little more relieved this time.
"What kind of change is this? or maybe the guy is actually nice but I never gave him a chance, so there's not the slightest sense of comfort when we talk to each other?" he said he was sitting on the floor leaning against the closet.
"Will the money I have now be enough? frugal? can't buy anything, but to eat? if only someone would help. Wait a minute, what to ask Ari? romance in this day and age is not free" he said while looking at the mobile phone, but there is still no news from his lover.
"You jealous? it's just a coincidence or do you really love me?" moving from his seat, hearing the sound of a motorbike stopped in front of the house.
"Raaa?" shouted a man, from his voice Ira was familiar.
Out of the room, standing in the doorway.
"What dear?"
"You coming?"
"Where?"
"A late afternoon walk. How's it?"
"May, but I haven't had a shower."
"No, take a shower, just a little quick, huh?"
"Okay, unfortunately, wait!"
Ira rushed into the room and took a shower.
*
After shower and dress up. Wearing fur trousers and a jacket-covered tangtop, the woman exited the room.
"Maybe it's time to start all the self-healing process." he muttered out of the house.
"Yeah?" take him to Iki who is sitting on the terrace.
"Udah?" get her clothes straight.
Close the door and bring a key.
"Where's Ra?" tanya Iki turned on her bike while parking.
"I want to go to the beach, looking for calm" he answered riding on the bike.
Without speaking again Iki drove slowly. Passing through my grandmother's house, no one was seen there.
Actually, if Iki invites Ira out like this, it can be said that she is not okay. The two of them are indeed close and know each other's characters, but to be open with their personal problems is closed. Understanding each other like this was enough for them to get through the hard times, even though the matter might not be resolved.
"Where is your relationship with Ari?" tanya Iki started the conversation.
"Yes is fine. Not now."
"You mean you're not okay now?"
"Yes, maybe he's jealous because he called me his number was busy. I called the Revelation again at Grandma's call."
"Yes tell me, you know Ra? it's not funny if a relationship has to end just because of a misunderstanding that hasn't been explained."
"Maybe true, but for now I don't care. Now I just want to sit still, take a deep breath and enjoy the sea breeze."
"Yes I understand." answered Iki briefly.
It's like a normal conversation, but it actually has a deep meaning to both.
Clearly, they have a lot in common except feelings.
Parental divorce and the cost of living that must be borne by themselves, make them comfortable to exchange stories about their problems. Of all the problems, the most complicated and most disturbing is the problem at home. Especially the relationship between the family, Ira has a bad relationship with her mother. Instead Iki has a bad relationship with her father.
Maybe personal affairs must be closed tightly and it is natural that no one else knows it, but family affairs if it must always be covered as if it is increasingly tempting to the inner and physical person. Not everyone can hide what is happening in his house, nor can everyone tell all his home problems to just anyone.
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