TRAPPED IN FORBIDDEN DESIRES

87. Woe

"Ano darling. Duh..nyakunyaknya you ti-dur," the words of my former mother-in-law increasingly slimmer.

Mama's eyes widened with both hands closing her mouth as she walked towards Delano and looked at her son. Mama immediately screamed hysterically, until we immediately rushed closer to her. Not only mama, we who saw the state of Anopun was shocked and hysterical. My body even went limp for a moment.

"Honey" Dios supported my body with one hand. While his other hand was holding Marta.

"Yes Allah Ano.maafin mom Ano..maafin mom son..akhhhhh..." My former mother-in-law screamed hysterically when she saw her son she found him in a terrible state.

Not only my mother, papa and sister-in-law were crying hysterically as well. While I was weak helpless also sobbed.

"Hiks.why do you do that Ano.why do you leave mom. Mom apologized, mom was wrong. Please come back, hiks...."

Mama shook Delano's body which was already very stiff and his skin that had turned blue. Although he was very sad, he approached his son and closed his eyes after reading the do'a.

"A-Ano," I said softly with melted tears on my cheeks.

I remember being with Ano. The gentle-hearted man, and speaking that delicate word made me fall in love with him once. Even loved him so much, to accept all his shortcomings.

I rang with his voice the last time he called me. A voice full of despair. I should have realized that this was going to happen to him. Gathering the rest of my energy, I tried to get up and wanted to make sure what I saw was real.

I looked around our room first, still keeping all our wedding photos. Without one less. I also saw a figura containing a photo of us while we were still dating. At that moment with a fose he hugged me from behind. I swallowed my saliva that felt stuck being slashed. With my hands shaking, I tried to press the camera button mounted on a three-legged buffer.

In the video it is very clear, Ano recorded it before he died. The sobs of my mom, dad and sister-in-law subsided, as they heard Delano's voice in the video.

"Hallos. By the time you find this video, you will no longer be able to talk to me. Sorry if I took this extreme step. It's not that I'm a coward for not accepting the truth. But I don't like being a useless person, and being shunned by all walks of life..."

Delano's words came to a halt and then bowed.

"More is my family. Especially my parents and my sister."

Hearing Delano's words, mom and dad sobbed again.

"I'm sorry Ano. Because Ano has let you down. Ano can't make you guys happy yet. But whatever happens, I can't regret it anymore. You also do not have to bother praying for me, because it is certain I will go to hell."

"Ma, pa, Ano love you guys. Ano is not angry and hurt because you dumped me. Take good care of sister. Make him a useful person and not a failure like me. I wish he could fulfill all the wishes of mama and papa that have not materialized."

Mama and papa grew sobbing, when they heard Delano's long speech.

"Caren, man,"

My eyes were immediately fixed on the camera screen, as Delano mentioned my name. I don't want to miss a word, when the man mentioned my name.

"I'm sorry for lying about how I feel about you" said Delano, who made my forehead shrivel.

"I was lying when I said I never loved you and only loved the same kind. I honestly love you so much Caren. Do you know what? when we first went to college, I've been watching you for a long time. But I just had the courage to express your feelings when we were about to graduate."

"When I expressed my feelings back then, it was earnest and pure. But besides that, I am also helpless. You know Mr. Hartono, right? he's a teacher at my High School. The one who first harassed me and recorded the incident, when I was drugged by it."

"However, one day I was desperate to grab her phone while she was asleep and delete every video of us while making love. I just got free, and I can graduate quietly. But it turned out to be just my wishful thinking, Hartono instead trapped me back with the boss where I worked. The man I've thought of as my lover all this time."

"Initially I just wanted to drain the man's treasure, because I didn't want to be wronged unilaterally. But when I found out about my flaws on our first night, I became weak and insecure. I'm sorry I'm always on your back every time we make love. Not because I don't have a heart, but it's because I'm ashamed of you. I know you're never satisfied with me. I know you're very disappointed. Until I finally found out that you were cheating on me,"

I bowed as Delano said that. I felt stripped naked, even though it had already happened.

"I felt pain then, but I couldn't get angry because I wasn't much different from you. I know you're not satisfied with me and just want to find an outlet. But when you said you were pregnant, I hurt Caren so much. Because I know it's not our son."

I sobbed when I heard Delano's words.

"But I didn't say it and wanted to admit that it was my son too. I am aware of my flaws, even so I don't want to part with you. I want to make you happy in a different way. I want to make you happy with the abundance of material, because I can't make you happy when you're in bed."

"You know? I was so happy when you asked me to move out of our old house.

And I was so happy when you broke off your relationship with him. Although it was not my son, I promised in my heart that I would raise him like my own son. Because I realized I wouldn't be able to have children because I honestly didn't have a vasectomy, but I was a barren man,"

I was shocked to learn fact after fact that Delano revealed after his death.

"Even though we were divorced back then, I was actually still hoping we could get back together. I even promised myself I would quit my distorted orientation. Because after I thought that only you were willing to accept me, understand me all this time. But unfortunately you rejected me outright,"

"When you left me, I was devastated. Because my goal is to make money just for you, to make you happy. Although the way is wrong. I'm sorry for not giving away the gono gini treasure properly, I just want to hold you back so that we don't get divorced. But it turns out that I failed to keep you, because your heart was already lured to him ,"

"Now I'm gone. I've already turned my name back on your behalf. Don't sell it? I promise I won't be a ghost. This house is our memento. If you sell, his memories will be destroyed. I pray that you will always be happy Caren. Because the highest way of loving is when I am able to sincerely let go of the person I love in order to find his own happiness."

"Make mom and dad. There's an apartment certificate in the wardrobe locker. Also a collection of watches, also an ATM card that pinned my birthday. Use the money to charge your sister,"

"Goodbye Caren. May you always be happy. I'm sneaking-.huffttt"

In the video we can see Delano feeling pain in his chest and starting to bleed from his mouth and nose. Lastly Delano still tried to wave his hand while trying to smile. And he finally turned off the video.

My crying broke immediately. Not only my tears, the cries of both parents are the same. I then ran towards Delano and rested before the lifeless man.

"I'm sorry.sorry I'm Ano.huhuhuhu," I'm really intrigued.

"I know you're still very sad. But Ano should be buried soon. Pity him" said Dios.

Dios then gives Marta to me, while she lifts Delano up to put him on the bed.

"Do we need to call the authorities?" ask Dios.

"no need. I don't want Delano to be a public consumption. I want him buried soon. And if possible, do not let the news of the cause of his death come out" said papa.

"alright. I'll take care of everything. Then I'll tell the manager of the mosque first" said Dios.

Dios then went out of the room. I looked at Delano's face that had turned blue. I don't know what kind of medicine he ate to end his life. But to be honest, I feel so guilty about my ex-husband.