TRAPPED IN FORBIDDEN DESIRES

79. Terrible Fuss

"Dios wake!" My blaring voice made Dios who was sound asleep wake up instantly.

I saw him shaking his head, maybe his head was a little dizzy from surprise.

"Honey. You're going to kill me, aren't you? what if I have a heart attack?" dios asked as without sin.

"Then what about you? you without my consent brought him here? it was more than just making me have a heart attack. You're crazy, aren't you?" I was with my breath going up and down.

"Where do I want your opinion? your phone cannot be contacted. Why do you mind too? we won't wait for him there, so we can keep an eye on everything here. Baby pity him, do you know? when I forced her to leave, she fell out of bed, not wanting me to leave her. Please understand" said Dios at length.

"No. I don't want to understand, and I won't understand. Dios, are you aware? you have hurt my heart. You...."

My voice choked, as my tears spread uncontrollably.

"Is it because I'm so much younger than you, my opinion you don't appreciate at all? why after I got married, I just felt like I didn't fit you at all,"

"What do you mean say that?" ask Dios.

"I think that by being almost 13 years old, I can get people who are more understanding, nurturing, and wise. But it turns out I was wrong, you just did what you thought was right."

"You're saying I'm jealous of a dying man? even though you're dying, you're ex-husbands and wives. Ever shared the same bed, the same saliva, even you have fucked her many times. How am I not jealous?"

"Now that he's here, he's just hoping for your attention. How about me and Marta? should I be a stranger for a while until he's dead?"

"No Dios. My heart is not that strong. Now you just have to choose, want to live with me, or live with that woman" I asked

Instead of answering my question, Dios grabbed my hands for her to kiss.

"Honey. Please understand my position this time. Please," said Dios memelas.

I pulled both my hands while shaking my head.

"I already know your answer. Instead of you being confused about which one to choose, you better let me back off,"

"You don't talk about yank. If you do not agree with him here, at least help me find a solution so he wants to stay in his own house," said Dios.

"If you could be firm from the start, nothing like this would happen. You alone make things complicated. Anyway you do not need to be confused, I have decided that I will give up," I said firmly.

Grepppp

Dios hugged me tightly. I know he's in a dilemma right now. A moment later he let go of that hug.

"Help me talk to him. I felt I couldn't talk to him about this" Dios said.

I'm speechless. Obviously I also could not bear to expel the weak woman just because of the magnitude of my jealousy.

"I don't want to. You brought him here, so you're the one who has to return him, '" I said.

"Well, if that's what you want, I'll kick him out as you wish" said Dios, who then stepped out of the room.

I let out a long sigh, maybe I have indeed passed over and have no heart in this matter. But this is one of my forms of defense. I don't want to be cheated again like I already am.

Slowly trailing behind Dios, I wanted to know what my husband was talking about with his ex-wife.

"Ma. I need to talk to Sekar

I borrow Sekar first, huh?" ask Dios to mama who is busy chatting with aunt Sekar.

"Yes please." Answer mama.

Dios suddenly knelt down in front of Sekar who was sitting in a wheelchair. He held both of the woman's hands, which made my chest rumble a little.

"Dark. I apologized to you earlier. I was wrong and wrong to think Caren would agree I brought you here. I beg for your understanding, I cannot risk my household to take care of you."

"But you shouldn't misunderstand Caren. She was a good woman, but she was currently taking care of her mother and father as well. While I was busy. Tomorrow I take you back to Surabaya, huh? I'll help you find the best nurse to take care of you later" Dios said.

Tears of sadness had flooded the woman. To be honest I don't have the heart either, but I want to prevent unwanted things.

"Can I talk to Caren first?" tanya Sekar interrupted her sobs.

"no need. The result will be the same. Because before we talk to you, we both discuss first. Now, please understand. You also must not feel good if we fight every day because you are here" said Dios.

"Well I want to go home now" said Sekar.

"Tomorrow. I'll take you later" said Dios.

"No! anyway I want it now. You don't have to take me either. If I die in the street, no one will cry for me. Why are you so evil, I just want to die with a family. And you're the ones I consider family today. Hicks...."

"Sorry Sekar. I know how you feel right now. I am also helpless. Sorry," said Dios lirih.

Fledged on Dios's doldrums. When I saw the two people crying while hugging, I felt like I was the most evil person in the world. But am I completely wrong?

"Please take me home today. Please," said Sekar.

"I'll talk about this to Caren. I don't want him to misunderstand me and you too" Dios said.

"Emm." Sekar nodded.

I blocked the steps of Dios and Sekar, as my husband pushed Sekar who was sitting in a wheelchair.

"Honey. Me and Sekar...."

"Does auntie really consider us family?" ask me to make sure.

"Yes. You're the only family I have now. Caren, aunt apologizes that the presence of aunt made your mood bad. I ask permission from you, so that Dios escorts aunty back to Surabaya," said aunt Sekar.

"Sorry aunt, not that I'm cruel as aunt. The experience was enough of a lesson for me. I also did not have a broad and strong heart, when I saw Dios watching his ex-wife" I said.

"Dear already. I want to send him home, no need to be extended anymore" said Dios who did not like me to discuss it directly with Sekar.

"No brother. I want Aunt Sekar to know and also feel what I felt when you used to prefer her, rather than keeping your promise to me who was pregnant with your child,"

"It hurts so much. But don't you think I'm talking like this because I want revenge. Back again I did this because I did not want to massalu once again. I beg you to understand, aunt,"

"Can you please just look around? I too, if I want to cheat, think. Is it possible that I would cheat with someone who is this helpless? you have a heart don't talk about it with people who are sick again gini? you can't leave aside your ego first," Dios said so piercingly. I don't like him scolding me in front of other people, especially his ex-wife.

"As far as you are Dios. If you don't accept my words, it's up to me. I just wanted to say what I felt," I left without looking again.

I decided to go back to my room and spill my sadness there. Dios then walked into the room without greeting me and stuffed her clothes into a backpack. Without saying anything, he just left. Dios' attitude really hurt me.

I hurried to look from the window. I saw Dios in the middle of the night pushing Sekar in a wheelchair to the front of the gate. There was also a taxi waiting for them in front of the fence. Dios then helps Sekar's thin body get into the car. The taxi then skied, after Dios also entered

*****

It was the third day that Dios had no news since the man drove Sekar to his house. I don't know what really happened, so he ignored me and also did not remember his son. But there was no intention I wanted to make sure he was there. I've been pretty traumatized by the past, and afraid there are things I don't want to happen

But on the 7th day I couldn't take it anymore. Now I'm the one who tried to contact him first. I just want certainty. But what annoyed me was, it turned out that the number could not be contacted at all. Where's Dios? what the hell is going on?