TRAPPED IN FORBIDDEN DESIRES

80. Failed to Go

"Pa, Ma, I've decided that I want a divorce from Dios" I said without hesitation.

"Don't talk carelessly. You have children, do not think about each ego that ends up harming, and sacrificing your child," said papa.

"Yes Ren. You guys better talk about it first," said mama.

"You want to talk about well how ma? the person also could not be contacted. If he has any sense and thoughts, he should think about the fate of his wife's children how. Because he's gone mad crazy, that's what happened. Forgetting the wife. Let him not go home, if it is necessary to die all two creatures," I swear countless.

"Call you Ren. Don't say it carelessly" said papa.

"Today we also return to the city of J. I no longer want to live in this house. I feel like I'm living here, while the host doesn't know where," my tears have spread.

"Think about it. We don't know what really happened to Dios, so he didn't come home like this. To be honest papa even worried, if something happened to him," said papa.

"I don't care what happens to him anymore. Now mending we immediately pack up and leave this house," I said firmly.

"Yes already pa. We'd better follow Caren's will. Let's just say we're on vacation," said mama.

"There is no holiday. It's home for good, "I'm a little bit smug with papa and mama, because I think my words are just playful. My emotions have reached the sea.

I then helped my mom and dad pack up, because I couldn't wait to get out of the mansion. After helping my mom and dad pack, I packed my clothes and Marta. Unlike before, this time I really wanted to disappear without leaving any messages and impressions for Dios.

"Mrs. Where's the madam going? don't leave without telling Mr. Dios first. We're afraid we'll get fired, ma'am," the waiter asked.

"You guys just calm down. Just tell me your master asked. I've gone far no longer to be sought." Answer me loudly.

I saw the servants looking at each other. They had anxious faces on their faces.

"Ma. Carry Marta, huh? let me push my mom's wheelchair" I said.

"Yes." Yeah." Answer mama.

I slowly started pushing the wheelchair, when Marta had already put it on my lap. But when papa opened the main door, papa was quite surprised because Dios was suddenly in front of us.

Dios's eyes looked puzzled, as papa dragged two large suitcases of clothes, and two bags over the suitcase.

"Where are you going?" ask Dios.

"Don't mind him pa. Let's go!" I pushed my wheelchair.

But my steps stopped, when Dios confronted us.

"I know you're mad at me, but at least listen to my explanation" Dios said.

I looked at my husband's face. There were dark circles under her eyelids. And I'm sure it's because he's sleep deprived.

"There's nothing more to explain. For me this week has been clear Dios. You will take care of our divorce papers immediately. Send to my home address in J city. I'll sign it later. I'm tired of dealing with you again. Thank you for making such a mess of my life," I said with no more holding back my tears that wanted to push out.

"Honey. I'm lying don't say that. You know best that I love you so much. Please listen to my explanation,"

"Surge!" my hardik.

I don't want to listen to Dios anymore. Just looking at his face I've been very emotional of the soul.

"don't want. Please listen to my explanation. Please...."

I who lost patience immediately pushed Dios' body firmly, until the big body staggered.

"I said step aside jerk!" my breath went up and down when I said it.

"Basin a mouth of rubbish!"

Plakkkkkk

As much as I could throw a slap in his face. My hands shook after doing so. Not only my hands, my body was shaking. Dios then grabbed my hand, for me to hit him back.

"Slap me as much as you want, hit me, or whatever you want. But please don't go. I can't do it without you and Marta" Dios' tears rolled down her face.

"You've had enough of this show all along Dios. Not anymore. I've been patient enough. What do you think I am you think of? you will go without news, and you will go home as if without sin. No. Dios..I've been sneaky to understand your attitude that always makes its own decisions, without ever involving me in it."

"Now it's up to you. I gave up too. I want our relationship to be over here" I said.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you for a week. But I have a reason,"

"Yes. Your reason is because you want to take care of your ex-wife with all your heart. If he recovers, you can control him again," I babble not because of.

"It's not. Please listen to me first. The day we were going to the airport, Sekar suddenly dropped. Maybe because of a lot of thoughts and severe inner pressure. I took him to the hospital we used to go to. And after checking her blood sugar over 1000, and the kidney failure she suffered was getting worse. That's why he became unconscious and then comatose."

"Good Dios. Turns out you're in town but you didn't come home for a moment? your phone turned off on purpose? just what? just because you want to take care of her, right? are you good with other people, while your wife's children ignore you? go Dios, I hate you!"

I turned my face to tears that were out of control.

"I want to but I'm powerless. I can't leave him, because if the doctor needs his family to redeem the medicine and complete the dossier, who will help him? my phone doesn't know where it's going. Believe me, I am also helpless. Please understand my position, I can't possibly let anyone who needs help just ignore me."

"I know I was wrong. But try to think from another point of view also yank. I helped him with just human affairs, with no intention whatsoever" Dios continued.

"You can also love. After he recovers, you can remarry him. I don't care if you want to do it with him,"

I pushed back my wheelchair. But the last words of Dios, made my steps stop and was quite shocked.

"At this time I was waiting for my mom in the hospital. When he realized he wanted his cornea examined, and hoped it would fit with his mother. And luckily it really fits. Right now he doesn't have much time left. He wants to see you one last time" Dios said.

I turned around suddenly and looked into Dios's eyes, looking for honesty. But honesty is very clear in his eyes.

"Now is not the time to blame each other. We have to see Sekar before it's too late" said papa.

Everyone is waiting for my decision. But my weak heart, I ended up going to the hospital as well. I want to immediately see the current condition of Aunt Sekar.

Arriving at the hospital. I saw Aunt Sekar being treated in the ICU room. All life aids are attached at some specific body point. Ah...was I really inhumane then? I let a frail old woman like this be taken care of by someone she doesn't trust. He only believed in Dios and me. But I refused without a conscience.

If at that time I allow him to stay in my home, could his condition improve? is it possible that he became this way because of me too?

"Enter into this space should not be crowded, and should alternate. Wear special clothes that have been provided," said Dios.

I who wanted to enter first, rushed into the room and grabbed the special clothes that had been prepared. I stepped slowly and approached Aunt Sekar's bed. I held the hand of Aunt Sekar, until the woman opened her eyes.

"Ca-Caren.tan-te min-ta sorry," is so difficult to talk, because there are breathing apparatus that cover his mouth and nose.

"Aunties. Caren should be the one apologizing. Sorry for my selfishness, auntie ended up in the hospital. Hicks...." I sobbed.

"Ma-Ta aunt bu-at mama ka-mu. Don't waste Di-os. He's a ba-ik,"

I nodded my head. There was something ringing on one of the monitors. The nurse pressed a button that I did not notice, until the sound no longer sounded.

I was confused when the doctor and nurse immediately gathered together like discussing something. I also had to leave the room first. And I was quite surprised, because they want to directly operate on mama and aunt Sekar, for corneal eye surgery as desired aunt Sekar.