TRAPPED IN FORBIDDEN DESIRES

40. Goodbye

Dios pushed my body slowly, to stop our hugging. I hurried to wipe my tears, and smiled as I looked at Dios.

"Goodbye, brother. I pray that you and Aunt Sekar will live happily. Don't hurt him, because he's a good man" I said as if I were the wisest.

"No need to teach me. I'm much older than you. You are still a child. Of course I'm happy with Sekar, because we love each other,"

I smiled wryly at Dios's words. There were not many more words I wanted to say to the man who did not want my presence at all. I then turned around while rubbing my stomach, and pressed the door handle.

I then closed the door slowly, and leaned against the door leaf by closing my mouth as my crying had already broken instantly.

Pranggggggg

Pranggggggg

Pranggggggg

I could hear from outside the door, that Dios was smashing things in there. I don't know what happened to him, maybe he was venting his hatred on me by destroying those things.

I hurried to step away. Because I don't want to be late for home. There are things I need to do when I get home. Lucky tonight the taxi was crowded, so I had no trouble returning home.

After arriving home I rushed to make a letter to aunt Sekar. I don't want him to be confused because I disappeared all of a sudden. At least that's how I want to respect him, because all this time he's always been good to me.

I wrote it with all my feelings that I poured into it. But I didn't break it all down until the end. I do not want to make coals in the household of Dios and Sekar, because they are actually people who have been good to me.

After I finished writing the letter, I folded it up immediately but I didn't put it in an envelope. I didn't have time to buy an envelope, because I had to leave early in the morning.

I put the letter on the table, and I hurried to put my clothes in the suitcase. I just lived in this city, but I don't seem to be in a match with this place. I decided to move to another city. A city that might accept me openly.

Time showed at 3am, but my eyes still seemed reluctant to close. I enjoyed the rest of the day at dawn, imagining the good times with Dios. The times we made love with the heat, and the last moments I hugged her a few hours ago.

Imagine that, my tears melt again. It was so cruel that fate played with my life. I, who was a princess at my parents' house, has now turned into a traveler who has no purpose in life.

As time passed, when the caller came, I hurried to complete my two obligations. While I chanted the do'a verses pleading for salvation. That God may guide my journey until I and my future son are safe until the destination.

When I finished I immediately dragged my suitcase. I locked the door to contract me, and I'll leave it to Aunt Sekar with my letter.

The atmosphere of Aunt Sekar's house still looks lonely. But the gatekeeper of his house had woken up, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Sir. I'm putting this on Aunt Sekar, right?" I called the guards at the substation in the fence, without entering first.

"Where's Caren going?" ask Satpam.

"You go sir, hurry up." My answer.

"Not enter first saying Sama Madam Sekar?"

"No sir. I just put in a letter. It's not good to wake him up this early, is it?"

"Yes, I will love him later" said Satpam.

"Thank you sir?"

"Either."

I dragged my suitcase a little away from the house. Because it was still too early, no taxis passed in the area. So I kept dragging my suitcase, until I got tired.

"Airport sir," this time I want to leave as soon as possible, and an airplane is the fastest means of transportation in my opinion.

I don't want to waste a lot of time. While the taxi was walking towards the airport, my brain was thinking. Which city will be my destination this time. And after I thought and weighed quite hard, finally yes I chose the city of Bandung to be the city where my port. People said the air was cold there, and I needed that coolness to reconcile my burning heart.

It only took me 30 minutes to get to the airport. I booked my departure ticket right then and there. And I was so lucky, that morning the passengers were a little quiet. And I took that morning flight too.

My heart is beating. For some reason, the more the plane soared into the air, the more my tears poured out infinitely. My chest really felt tight, the shadow of Dios' face seemed to be dancing in my eyes.

"Goodbye my love. May you always be happy. I will take good care of our son. I will pour out all my love for him, replacing the role of mother as well as father figure for him. I don't expect us to see each other again, because if we see each other again, I don't guarantee I'll be this good,"

*****

"Mrs. Miss Caren this morning nitip this for the mistress," said Satpam.

"Caren's? is this the key to his house? where'd he go sir?" ask Sekar.

"Do not know madam. But I saw him carrying a big suitcase." Reply Satpam.

I hurried to the room. He wanted to take his reading glasses that were in the room.

Dear.tante Sekar whom I love....

Sorry Caren left without saying goodbye. Not that Caren would not, but Caren was afraid of not being able to leave, after stepping feet that were not necessarily this direction.

Sorry if all this time Caren had a wrong or troublesome Om and aunt. That's why I feel unsuitable to be in this city and want to find a city that can calm my heart.

Aunt take care of health. Obedience to taking medicine. Caren wishes her aunt a speedy recovery and happy forever with Dios.

Tan, greetings always.

Caren Martadinata's.

Sekar's tears fell, after reading the letter.

"Ah...Caren's. Aunty really hopes to hold your son. At least aunty can feel like a mother through your child. It turns out that our soul mate only got here yes," said Sekar Lirih.

My mood was suddenly bad. And it is quite disturbing his health which is strictly prohibited excess stress.

Time showed at 9am, when Dios came home from the nightclub. The man was completely unaware of Sekar's unfavorable mood. The man only thought Sekar was still sleeping, and he went to clean himself up.

Day after day has passed. Dios felt something was missing, but she did not know what it was. But a striking change also happened to Sekar, his wife became more quiet.

"Where is your friend? tumben is invisible?" ask Dios.

"Go." Answer the short moment with a flat face.

"Where to? an assailant?" Dios still thinks Caren is still in town.

"Don't know. He just left me a letter. Said he didn't fit in this town.It looks like he's gone far somewhere. His phone number can't be dialed anymore." Answer Sekar.

Deg

Dios' heart was hit with a hammer. Unknowingly the man released Spoon to cause a commotion on his plate.