TRAPPED IN FORBIDDEN DESIRES

60. Repotted

Two days in the hospital, I was allowed to go home. Because of the lack of experience, I hired a nurse to take care of my son until he broke his umbilical cord. Moreover, my wound stitches still hurt, my movements were limited.

My son was born with a weight of 3500 grams. For the size of the first child, it turns out the doctor said it was quite large. That's why at birth, where my son was born was slightly scissored. I don't know what part exactly was cut, I don't know, I don't remember and I don't feel it. Maybe because of the pain I was experiencing at that time.

And it doesn't feel right now my son is 1 week old. Right at the age of one week, my son's umbilical cord is loose. I don't know why I took off the umbilical cord and my heart became happy. Because when I saw him almost break up, I still felt horrified to touch him.

But this time there was a bigger problem in my opinion. For fear of my stitches being released, BAB's mood was lost. And now I have to deal with the hard BAB until my eyes water. The nurse advised me to eat a lot of papaya and other fibrous fruits. I don't know why everything doesn't work. And the last alternative, I was forced to insert the laxative I put in through my emergency hole.

Now I realize how hard it is to be a mother. Not only did the difficulty I mentioned just come to me. The top of my chest at this time still feels sore, because of the blisters while breastfeeding my son. Given this difficulty, I remembered my mother. I don't know what happened there, so I can't call their cell phones at all. I want to talk to my mother and my grandmother. But in reality I was like a child who was no longer wanted.

I looked at my son's face. She's so plump and adorable. Again, seeing her, my tears rolled unbearably, and unfortunately had to be caught off guard when Rendy was playing at home.

"You crying?" ask Rendy.

Asked like that, of course, my tears increased. Seeing me sobbing, Rendy finally carried my head in her chest.

"What's the hem? are Mia and Rudi here again?" ask Rendy.

"Hiks. I just remember my parents. Why they don't want me anymore. Hicks...." I'm getting sobbing.

"Wait for the right time. They are still angry at you right now. But believe me, it's impossible for your parents to be angry for so long with you, especially if you're just a child."

"You should also introspect. The disappointment you give them is pretty big. So do not take heart easily. Just take care of your children, so when you come home later you can make them proud," continued Rendy.

"But I need them brother. I need my mama" I said on my sobs.

"Patience. Emm...have you eaten?"

I know Rendy's trying to shift my grief. Since I haven't eaten yet, of course I shook my head.

"I brought this for you" said Rendy, thrusting a plastic bag at me.

"Is this brother?" my many.

"You want to eat jumbo meatballs." Answer Rendy.

"Thank you, brother?"

"Emmm. Eat up! wait a minute let me get you a bowl, ", said Rendy.

"Yes." Yeah." Reply happy.

"Suster did you quit?" ask Rendy.

Rendy went to the kitchen and asked me to chat. The distance between the kitchen and the living room is very close.

"Yes brother. Marta's umbilical cord is also loose. I've also begun to bathe her myself." My answer.

Rendi put one bowl and one spoon in front of me. He opened the bag of meatballs he bought, along with soy sauce and sauce.

I started eating meatballs of that size. Rendy is holding Marta. Every now and then I look at both of them, my feelings getting mixed up again.

Let's just say Rendy is Dios. I'm sure I'll be very happy. Surely my son will quickly recognize his father, not someone else he considers to be a father. Between the rogue and the bench. I'd love to unblock Dios's contacts. I wanted to call him and tell him that his son was born. But I was afraid that when I talked to him, I started getting hit by his arrows, which made me worry again.

My intentions are round. I want to end my relationship with him in any form.

"Sister. Do you think I should call my son's father?" I want to get a little enlightenment.

"If I think so. He was the father of Martha. He deserves to know." Answer Rendy.

I grabbed my phone and stopped eating. I saw Rendy sigh when I saw her daydreaming while holding my phone.

"Use your food first. Later just talk properly," said Rendy.

I obeyed Rendy. Because my mood was not good, I did not finish my food. I re-unblocked Dios' cell phone number. As soon as the block was opened, dozens of messages entered my phone. I got nervous, reading them one by one.

"Honey. You where? don't leave me. Listen to my explanation, you misunderstood me. Please don't leave me again. I can't without you,"

"I miss you yank,"

"Honey. Where are you? don't be so angry for long,"

There are many more messages I have received. But what makes my eyes wide is, when I read message number 5 from last.

"Honey. I'm divorced from Sekar. Now I go wander again. I'll go anywhere as long as I can find you,"

"Di-He's divorced?" muttered.

"Honey. I have arrived at my destination city. This time I went to Yogyakarta. Where are you now, yank?"

"Sadly I had seen you in the traditional market of Yogyakarta. Is that really you? but I lost track of you,"

"Honey. This is the month of our child's birth. I don't know why my heart is so nervous today. I miss you so much. If there's a chance, I'd like to accompany you to give birth,"

I saw the date the message was sent by Dios. That was the date our son was born. My tears suddenly. As I thought, I went back into a dilemma. Should I forgive him and return to him immediately?

"What's wrong? why are you crying?" ask Rendy.

"I did not want to unblock the number, for fear of being affected. And as I thought, that jerk can make me baper the most." I answered while wiping my tears.

"That's a sign you still love him. Still have the same feeling he. Why lie to feelings. You love each other, don't you?"

"It's not that easy I want to go back to him.. I have to teach him a lesson first. He is now divorced from his wife. But that doesn't mean I want to get back to her that fast,"

"Huuu..that's a difficult name to make Ren himself," said Rendy.

I'm speechless. I don't know why my feelings are mixed right now. Either I'll go back to Dios, or I'll leave her forever.