TRAPPED IN FORBIDDEN DESIRES

85. Panicked

"Why is that possible?" lips trembling. The shadow of my ex-husband's death felt so close.

"Who carried the disease first. Maybe it had something to do with us having a gay party, when our friend's birthday was at one of those nightclubs." Reply Delano.

"Ano. I've told you so many times, stop having such an impious relationship. Why don't you understand too. Now my fear is happening, isn't it?"

Dios asked through her eyebrows, but I gestured for Dios to wait for my explanation after I finished.

"Nasi has become Caren's porridge. I can't lie to my feelings, I don't like women. If for people who have a normal orientation, certainly can not feel what I feel."

"But Caren. There's more important than that. That's my purpose in calling you. Because that's just my guess, I also suspect that my partner has been infected with the virus because of frequent exposure without my knowledge. But I don't know, I can't guess. I'm very stressed at the moment" Delano said.

"Did your partner get it too?" my many.

"Yes. He is now divorced from his wife. Lucky his wife hasn't had him gauli in a long time, so he's expressed negative." Reply Delano.

"Where are you now?" my many.

"I'm at our house. I was exiled by both my parents and my brother. They were shocked to find out that I had this cursed disease. For fear of being infected, they prevented me from coming home. Let alone them, even the servants of my house have resigned all." Reply Delano.

"Ano you have to be excited huh? do not make your illness a burden. Many people who get the disease can survive for a long time. The important thing is that you must be diligent in treatment to suppress the disease," I said.

"Carens. I called because I wanted to make sure of you, too" Delano said.

"certainly? ascertain what?" my many.

"I don't know when exactly I got infected with this virus. Frightened when we got married, it turns out I was already exposed back then. Because to be honest, I've been in a relationship like that, ever since I was in high school."

Delano's reply deeply shook my feelings. My body suddenly became trembling, I knew exactly what Delano wanted to tell me.

"If that's true, I'm afraid you've also contracted Caren, not just you. Your husband and child may also be affected" Delano said.

Pyaaaaaarrrrrr

The phone I was holding fell to the floor. My body was limp and almost collapsed, if only Dios would not hold my body from behind.

"Honey. You why?" dios asked worriedly, seeing my deathly pale face.

"K-Sister. Delano HIV positive." I answered with trembling lips.

"really?" ask Dios.

"Yes. Now the question is, he's been doing it since High School. He doesn't know when he's been infected with that damned disease,"

"So?" ask Dios who has not yet understood the direction of my conversation.

"Delano called because she wanted to say, there's a possibility that I was infected when I married her. And automatically it could be our brother and son also hit the sis."

My answer made Dios let go of her hug from me. He looked at me with a look I couldn't understand.

"Let's go to the hospital. To make sure we have to check ourselves" said Dios.

"Sister. I fear. What if we get infected too?" ask me with tears in my eyes.

Dios fell silent. I could see there were angry faces there. I don't know who he wants to be angry at. But obviously if that's true, I feel guilty because he's related to me.

"Whatever it is, we have to check ourselves first. Jagan panicked easily. Pity our child who is in your womb" said Dios.

"Hiks.I'm afraid brother. I'm afraid.hiks,"

Dios hugged me again because she wanted to calm me who was trembling at this moment. After I calmed down a little, Dios and I finally decided to go to the hospital to check into the big hospital.

"When will the result come out doc?" ask Dios.

"Wait about 30 minutes sir" said the doctor.

I kissed Marta. I'd resigned if I was infected with the virus too. But I hope my children do not suffer the same fate. Imagining that really freaked me out.

Meanwhile, in a different place, Delano seemed to cry as much as he could. He momentarily stared at his home cctv and then got up from his seat and climbed up. The phone he left on the table looked creaking, but no matter how many times it creaked, Delano didn't know it.

On our way home, we kept quiet in the taxi we were riding in. We are dissolved in each other's thoughts. And without feeling we have arrived home.

Dios asked me to sit in the living room, and our test results she put on the table.

"Honey. I've been thinking about it all the way back to this house. I've decided, whatever the outcome of this test will be, we have to accept each other whatever the outcome. Everything that happens to us is God's will. We don't have to regret it anymore" Dios said.

"Hiks.sorry. Because I'm a big brother. Because of my relationship, brother got hit by shit. Sorry, my tears are out of control.

"Hey.honeyang. That's not necessarily. We haven't opened the results yet. No matter what happens, we have to be honest. Whatever has happened, cannot be changed. We must be breast-fed by God's decree. Perhaps God wants to warn us to be better human beings" Dios said.

"Do you have any particular intention if our test results are negative?" ask Dios.

"I want to make a donation to HIV sufferers as well as orphans in orphanages." Answer me steadily.

"That's great. I will support you, this is our chance to help Sekar channel his fortune for alms. Because he used to nitip the mandate on me. Anyway whatever the result, we will remain alms," said Dios who immediately I subscribed.

"Who did you get to open?" asked Dios who was still casually joking.

"Sir.." My eyes whizzed, because I didn't like the joke at all.

Dios then got my test results. Maybe Dios thought that by opening up my test results, the results would follow. I bowed in fear, squeezing my fingers at each other.

Slowly Dios tore off the tip of the white envelope and pulled the paper inside which had been folded into 3 pieces. Dios read word for word the contents of the paper, and when the results were negative, Dios pretended to put on a sad face and cried. Maybe she forgot about my current pregnancy. Not knowing the actual results, I fell unconscious first.

*****

"Honey. Hey..are you awake?" ask Dios.

But instead of answering Dios's question, I cried again when I remembered the results of the tests we had undergone.

"Hey.sorry I love. I just wanted to joke. I'm sorry, because I forgot you were pregnant. Sorry yank?"

My cry suddenly subsided upon hearing Dios' words. I still want to confirm Dios' words that I don't fully understand yet.

"What does brother mean?" my many.

"So the results of that test we're both negative." Answer Dios.

My eyes are round, with my mouth open.

Bagh

Bugh

Bagh

Bugh

"Son't you? want to kill me, right? let's quickly become a widower again, continue to marry again. If I die I'm ghosting brother,"

My hand kept hitting Dios out of annoyance at his pranks. But instead of being in pain, he laughed out loud when he received my punch. After I got tired, he hugged me tightly.

"We must immediately return to Yogya to carry out our alms intentions" said Dios.

"Emmm. Brother,"

"Hem?"

"Can I have one request before we go back to Yogya?" my many.

"Say! I'll obey all your requests." Answer Dios.

"I want to before we go, we meet Delano's parents and Delano's. Currently Delano is being shunned by his entire family and relatives, as they consider Delano's disease to be like a curse disease. They think the disease is spreading very quickly. Maybe they're afraid of being at home with Delano,"

"As people are educated and understand, we must correct that false assumption. Poor Delano brother. At a time like this he should not be shunned, but should be embraced and given spirit," I said.

Dios smiled at me, she then nodded in agreement.