Double-role

CHAPTER 9

The clock shows at half 4 am, closed eyelids are now trying to open again. Azam wakes up from sleep and finds himself in a different place. He then turned around and approached his second wife sleeping. His eyes widened perfectly when he saw the scars of last night stuck firmly on Alina's innocent body.

Instantly he immediately got up from lying down trying to dampen the heartbeat that continues to race quickly. Her irises rolled looking at their clothes strewn across the room floor. His breathing suddenly went up and down in disbelief at what he had done.

"W-did I do it with Alina last night? Arrghh, what am I doing?" Azam grabbed her hair in frustration. "I think Yasmin-arrgh, I can't think clearly. Is she afraid of losing Yasmin to think of her as Alina? Oh my God, what have I done?"

After blabbering indistinctly he then left Alina's room just like that.

...***...

The crumb is dim, broken, messy, sick, clinging to an Alina. Just now he opened his eyes the clear liquid immediately slid without being prevented. The tub walking on the broken glass wound he received was increasingly gaping and wide open. Grey clouds occupied the deepest recesses of his heart, resulting in endless storms of tears.

Like slicing a lemon on top of its liquid wound caused tremendous pain. Not the sweetness he got but the bitterness of bile. The monoxide poison spread throughout the cells in his body giving a tremendous pain effect. The flowers that had bloomed overnight withered instantly. The hope he left on the clouds with a rainbow as a decoration was in fact thrown into the deepest abyss.

He was too eager to ignore the reality.

"This is very sick, O God. I lu-pa ji-ka mas Azam ti-d never see me as a wife. I will never be able to shift Yasmin's position in her heart. Is it painful to love your own husband? Oh my God, can I survive?"

In that room there was only the heartbreaking sobs of an Alina. The reality that he thought was not a dream, in fact only gave an illusion for a moment. Beauty is superficial only in the imagination. She thought Azam had fully accepted her as a wife, but it turned out to be wrong. Angan is not as beautiful as hope.

That painful love can make him survive? Is there still a chance for him to be seen as an Alina and not Yasmin?

As powerful as her energy, Alina gripped the blanket that wrapped her plain body firmly. He channeled the pain in the chest hoping to get some relief.

The clock is at half 8 a.m. Sunday which is usually used to enjoy time together now only leaves Azam alone at the dinner table. Sarah who had just finished bathing Aqeela was surprised to see her master there.

"Master? Is Alina not awake yet? Can I make you some breakfast?" soft bargain.

Azam who was looking at the empty table gasped and immediately returned the gaze of the babysitter. The smile framing the woman's face made her take a look away.

"No, you just focus on Aqeela."

"Ahh well then, if Mister needs anything I'm behind."

Azam nodded his head in response and Sarah left.

Not long ago Alina came in limping. Azam seemed to see the way it went, it made him recall the incident last night. Vaguely with his lust and mixed emotions he had already vented it on Alina.

Without saying a word the woman carried out her duties as a wife. He prepared breakfast in silence, making the husband keep his eyes on him. Azam realized there was something different about his second wife.

"Can you accompany me to eat?"

Still in silence, Alina just sat in front of her husband. His head in hijab looked down at the marble floor as a distraction.

"You should eat too." Azam also thrust a plate of rice and side dishes made by Alina in front of him.

Suddenly it made Alina jerked and looked up to look at the two eyes of people in front of her. A smile fluttered on Azam's handsome face made Alina's heartbeat beat fast. The two hands that were on the lap were creeping strongly with breaths going up and down. Alina tried to resist the intense irritation in her chest.

Silence struck, neither of them spoke a word. Alina did not touch her food at all inviting a big question mark for the man.

Azam ended his breakfast and refocused on his wife.

"I'm sorry."

The apology incised a deepening wound in Alina's heart making her stiffen on the spot. Both of his moon netra were wide open, recalling the incident last night. Especially, when the name of the first wife called by her husband.

"Every night" Azam did not say it immediately and gave a pause to see Alina's reaction.

Far from the shadow of his second wife was like a living puppet. A deathly pale face, a blank look forward with a slightly open mouth.

"Did we do it last night? I'm sorry I forced you to."

Apologizing and forcing continue to ring in hearing. His heartbeat kept racing fast giving him endless pain. Without realizing it, tears fell unbearably. Azam widened his eyes to see this. This was the first time he had seen Alina crying right in front of her own two eyes.

"A-lina," he called in doubt.

Alina shook her head and immediately got up from sitting down. He forcefully kicked down the dining table making Azam very surprised.

"I'm sorry you said? Force me to do that? Just sorry? Who's on your mind when you do it, huh?"

Azam frowned hearing Alina's words. "I don't care if you want to have that relationship with me. Because we're legally a couple, but I want the name of Alina you call and not Yasmin. I love you, Mas love you so much. Don't you think of me as a wife? I'm sick, do you know?"

With tears Alina put her feet out from before Azam. The man was determined to hear all the confessions of his second wife. A second later she grabbed her hair in frustration. He remembers what happened last night, but all he has in mind is that Yasmin is not Alina.

"What have I done? I didn't mean it that way. Oh God, I made a mistake. Because of the fear of losing Yasmin I became unconscious if the person I had fucked was Alina. The emotions that ruled me made our relationship break down like this" she said.

There was a pain that he felt when he saw the clear liquid flowing on both cheeks of his second wife. Alina who he knew as a strong woman, independent and generous smile showed his weakness.