Double-role

CHAPTER 29

The sky was still letting out its cries, the thunder kept unpretentious giving tension. The wind slowly blew delivering endless cold air. Raindrops become music accompaniment to pain.

No one spoke only the dominating voice of nature. Inside the rectangular-shaped room there was only a sobbing cry. Lost in trust, disappointment becomes a stepping stone to no longer admit. Hope remains hope, an illusion without edges into mere wishful thinking. The desire to be with a loved one blurs along with the imagination dancing beautifully in destiny.

Life sometimes harbors unpredictable surprises. God's scenario becomes one of the best plans to be the grip of every human being. There is nothing wrong with His plan, behind the trials God throws happiness and behind tears still a smile of joy.

...Fa inna ma'al usri...

..."Then indeed with difficulty there is ease" (Q.S Al-Inshirah :5)...

However, when the ordeal comes it sometimes invites endless wounds and tears. Sadness and disbelief become the words that describe it. Flowers that had originally grown beautifully as fast as lightning withered in the storm.

"Mas knew how scared he was at the sight of blood that day and the doctor said I was bleeding? I already said that, didn't I? I'm scared, so scared of losing this baby. I thought if I was pregnant Mas could turn to love me. I was happy when Mas calmed me down when I first found out about this pregnancy. I thought, it turns out Mas Azam has the same feeling. I'm happy with the wonderful days we spent together" Alina paused her words as the chest tightness kept coming.

His head was bowed, unable to look forward, and in silence Azam watched. He kept waiting for what Alina would say next. Along with the clock ticking on the wall his voice instantly kicked his sense of hearing, again.

"I am an orphan hoping to get a family that can give affection. I was happy when we first met again after so long apart. I who had been harboring feelings for many years was surprised to find Mas Azam married. I'm trying to bury everything. Suddenly, Yasmin asked me to be her second wife. I was devastated that time and no happiness was felt. Because I can be with the man I love. I'm sick of hearing other people talk about this marriage. They think of me as a heartless third person taking advantage of Yasmin's situation. I never wanted the treasure of Mas Azam. I sincerely love you. What do I have to prove it, Mom?! For Mas to believe that this child is indeed your flesh and blood."

The expression of Alina's feelings for many years was conveyed already, with tears of vision of the past spinning in memory. He tried to deny the feeling, but still time said if he had fallen in love with the son of the donor.

Whenever Azam came with his parents to the parlor, Alina secretly always noticed him from afar. However, the ten-year-old boy came to him and made them friends. Honey, after three years with Azam they have to move out of town. Their friendship also stretched and in the end no longer greeted each other.

Along with that is also a sense of loss and care like haunting Alina. He thought the feeling was just a longing for a friend or family. However, since changing into a girl he misinterpreted about feelings. Without realizing it he fell in love for a very long time.

Year after year he passed without certainty. He hoped and continued to pray to be reunited with Azam. He wants to make sure for himself the love that continues to inhabit his heart. Due to being present for too long in life, Alina did not want to continue like that.

Allah's destiny answered his prayers, they were reunited with surprising circumstances. Azam was married to a beautiful, humble woman and from a distinguished family. Alina decided to stop admiring him. But fate says something else. He was to marry Azam and become his second wife.

Remembering those days made Alina smile wryly. Slowly his head looked back at the husband's gaze.

"Thank you for the happy days you have given me. I am tired and want to give up. But let me love you one last time." A weak smile was present accompanying every clear keritasl that continued to fall.

Hearing the last words of Alina made Azam's heart beat unbecoming. He was flabbergasted and could not believe that his wife could say that. He was again surprised when Alina got out of bed and walked past him.

"Where are you going?" Azam asked quickly and turned to look at her.

Alina, who was standing on her back, replied, "i'm leaving, thanks for everything. I hope Mas Azam can be happy with Yasmin. I'm sorry if this has been bothering your household."

"What are you talking about? Did you go want to be with that guy?"

Without saying another word Alina walked out from before him just like that. After Azam's wife growled and grabbed her hair in frustration. He also threw things in the room that made a mess.

After a rampage he sat under the floor and leaned against the bed. Tears flowed along with the growing condition.

...***...

Sick, only one word could describe Alina's current state. He didn't know where to go, there was no purpose he could think of. She sat alone in the garden not far from her husband's home.

The night wind blew making his body shiver. He put his hands on his stomach to protect the baby. Slowly he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It was done many times trying to calm down. Because suddenly he felt cramping again.fear appeared and desperately tried to dismiss the painful event that had just come.

"Darling, Mom is okay. Well well in there, from now on we'll live alone." His murmur lowered down.

One kick from the baby responds quickly. Simultaneously the clear liquid continued to glide unbearably. He tried hard and strong to be able to survive for the sake of the baby. After coming out of her husband's house she still could not think of what to do in front of him. However, avoiding the source of the pain became the best course of action Alina could take right now.

While at Azam's residence, Sarah silently stared in Aqeela's room when she heard the quarrel that occurred. He could not interfere in their domestic affairs and could only pray for the best. He did not know that Alina did not live there anymore.

"O Allah, I hope that you will give protection and happiness to Alina."

Sebait do'a became the strength he could give.