I'm Not a Shit Carrier

Disappointment of Disappointment

''Sir ..'' lirih Alisa.

Her lips were shaking to say something. But he did not dare, seeing Madan's reaction later.

He was afraid that Madan would be hurt if he knew the truth.

''Say!''

Alisa looked at Madan with a sad face. Makes Madan sick to see it.

''Actually...''

''Sweety.. if it is heavy, do not need to be said, than later you are tormented, better not yes?''

''No Brother! sooner or later you will know it too. Before you know from others, it is better Alisa first said her.

Madan was agitated to hear Alisa's words. What the hell is it? Why is Alisa so heavy to say? Those eyes were so dim, as if he felt guilty? Butwhat? madan murmured in his heart.

Alisa took a deep breath.

''Sak.. actually. ka-kala if the dream is true.'' sirihnya while looking down.

Madan's confused. ''Means??''

''Dreams are true Sis..real dreams exist.if Alisa has been betrothed by other young men, he proposed to Alisa officially, directly facing papa and mama.''

Dduuuaaaarrr

Like being struck by lightning in a hole. Madan gasped, hearing Alisa's words. He could not believe that the dream was true. Butwhy? Why is it happening so fast? Though he deliberately went home to convey his intention, so that other youths did not take Alisa first.

Turns out he was late.

''Liss!!'' he cried out in surprise, unconsciously raising his voice. Makes Alisa shocked.

Madan scooped her face rough.

''Why Lis?? Why are you the heart?? Why did you accept the young man's proposal! you are the first brother to propose to you! although not officially.. Lis..''

Alisa is sobbing. He did not dare look at Madan. This is what Alisa is afraid of. Madan will be disappointed in him.

He knows better now than he knows from someone else's mouth. Madan's attitude, which was warm, has now turned cold.

''You have Lis!! You can give false hope to your sister! brother is disappointed with you!'' she cried with tears flowing down her cheeks.

''I didn't mean it that way, brother, but what is the power if destiny has determined my life! I have to what! even I couldn't accept the fact when I knew that big brother would be betrothed to our principal's daughter! Does your sister know that??'' lirih Alisa with trembling lips.

The deg!

Where does Alisa know?? madan murmured in his heart.

''Sick sis.hiks was very sick when I knew that the person I idolized, the person I liked the first time, the person I always mentioned in my prayers for these two years will be betrothed to another girl! I'm sick sister. hiks .. I think it hurts! but I can't talk to anyone or anything! to whom I complained to pour out my heartache when I found out if my brother would be betrothed to someone else. Even the principal asked me at that time! What should I answer, brother? besides 'yes you two are a match!' that's all that can come out of my lips!'' alisa. Madan was silent, he did not know if Alisa as sick as it was knowing she would be betrothed to another girl.

Alisa continued her words which severely slapped Madan.

''You know? I've always looked at my brother from far away! I dare not approach! because I've heard that big brother is going to be the principal's son-in-law. What can I do, brother?? though all this time no one knows, if I like my brother in silence. I would love to talk to you two, joking like other young people, who from now on together until they get married stay together! But what did I get? just this pain in the heart, brother! When I knew that my puja would be taken by another girl.'' Alisa. He revealed all his heart to Madan, whom he had kept himself.

''If I could turn the clock around, I wouldn't be silent, I would have approached big brother a long time ago! But I realized! if I was an ordinary girl, there was nothing compared to the principal's daughter! She is a girl who understands religion. Since childhood she has been educated to become a Sholehah woman! What am I, just an ordinary girl! teaching in a mediocre voice, while the science of religion is little I know. Unlike you who from the beginning, have indeed entered the pesantren. I'm an insicure brother!'' coined.

''I've liked you for a long time, brother. Fear of being rejected! I'm a girl, embarrassed dong if you first say love? It's not that I don't know what the apostle's love story is with his wife Ai Khadijah. I know that, but I was thinking, if I'm not his age yet, so how could I possibly be like that! Not to mention we are still in High School status. Still wearing a white ash uniform! how appropriate I am to talk about love!'' added again.

Madan could only be silent. Although his tears flowed, he remained faithful to hear Alisa's heart. More precisely, the expression of the girl's disappointment towards him.

''I'm self-conscious brother.I'm nothing compared to the girl who will be betrothed to you! So I chose to retreat! Rather than me being sick, it is better to give up! but I prayed to Allah that Allah would open the heart of Madan to me, even if only a little! before we part!'' alisa said still with a hiccup.

Madan. He was overwhelmed to hear it. Behind his disappointment, he still had time to pray so that he could be with the young man even if only briefly.

Madan smiled in tears.

''I'm happy, now brother is here with me! before we part. It will be a memory for me later. Brother know?? it feels heavy to be doing all this! But I can't resist, if the stroke of fate is like this. I cannot escape this fate! wherever I go, this destiny will remain with me. Therefore, I try to close my heart to every man who comes to me! until one young man managed to conquer my heart that I key to you, sister, he managed to melt my heart with his earnestness.

''I don't know what our destiny is! but I will keep trying to change for the better now! Thank you that you have filled the void in my heart all this time, you are a special person in my heart. I've put your name on my side. Let this be a memory between the two of us. Didn't I ever say it to sister, just follow where destiny takes us! if indeed we are paired, no matter how far apart, surely we will be united! Brother remind??''

Madan was shocked by Alisa's words. He tried to remember it. As he remembered it, he smiled.

Aye! It is true what his heart says. If indeed they are paired, no matter how far the distance will stretch, if it is already a mate will definitely be united.

💕

TB