I'm also giving up

End

Suddenly the atmosphere in the room now becomes quiet. There was only me, Mama Maya, and also Tari who took care of Cheery after Papa Adi and Mother decided to go home first. Dance is allowed to stay here because of Cheery. Yes, before being moved into the room, Cheery had called the name of Dance even though she was blindfolded.

There was no conversation between the three of us but to stare at the little girl who was lying weakly on the bed with an infusion hose stuck in her tiny hand.

My guilt hasn't gone away even though Raffi told me Cheery would be okay. Even with Mama Maya and also Papa Adi who helped calm me, grateful because they did not blame me. They still behave well even though I have made his favorite grandson wretched.

"It was just an accident."

However, the guilt is still in my mind. Especially when he saw Cheery's breath tight and irregular, and his pale face made my guilt even greater.

"Mrs ..." My face that was originally lowered immediately looked up when I heard Mama Maya's voice. He smiled thinly.

"What's up, Ma?"

"You better eat first, than you were here and haven't eaten yet, right?" Although both tired, Mama Maya still worried about me.

I smiled as I shook my head slowly. "Naya, not hungry yet, Ma."

"Nope ..." Mama Maya clasped my hand. "Eat first, Mama doesn't want you to get sick. Let Mama keep Cheery here." Mama Maya stared at Tari who was sitting in a single chair. "You too, now that Cheery's asleep. If you want to go home, please! Let me and Naya take care of Cheery."

"No Aunt." Rush Dance shook her head. "I want to stay here. Take care of Cheery." he added that made Mama Maya sigh heavily.

"Cheery doesn't need you, because there's my Grandma, and Naya's here." Mama Maya emphasized every sentence that came out of her lips.

"Cheery needs me, Auntie. She's my son, she's my daughter." Dance won't lose.

"Curtain ..." Mama Maya squealing. "He's not your son anymore after you left him first."

"Ma ..." I tried to attract the attention of Mama Maya from the Dance that seemed to be ignited by emotions.

Even with Dance who was still frozen with eyes full of regret.

"I was wrong Auntie. But I did it for Tian and Cheery. I left them because I was under pressure from your husband.!"

"Silent you." Sentak Mama Maya's. "My husband did it because you didn't deserve my son."

"Why? Was it the fault of my parents? so that Auntie and Om Adi hate me?"

"Yes." Yeah." Mama Maya answered loudly. "You already know what the reason is, you should leave now and never see Tian and Cheery again."

"But sorry Aunt. I can't do that. I'll stay here because I'm Cheery's mother."

"You--" Mama Maya had not spoken, suddenly the sound of the door in front of it was wide open. Both I, Mama Maya and Tari turned their heads, we were all surprised because Tian was already standing with an illegible look. Even with Rama standing behind Tian's tall body, the man looked at us all with a look.

"Maan ..." Excited Mama Maya approached Tian who was still unmoved there. "You're home, son?"

Not a word came out of his lips. Tian's current gaze was only on Cheery. With a tired face and clothes that left the shirt looking very messy. I'm sure Tian and Rama just arrived and went straight to the hospital.

As Tian walked, the man passed me just like that. Tian didn't look at me at all, but I'm sure Tian was aware of me there. With his cold attitude like that made my guilt also rekindle.

"Miss ... can come with me for a minute." Rama said as he stood near me.

My head nodded. "Good."

Just as I was about to approach and ask permission to come out, I saw Mama Maya nod. Although I didn't speak, I knew that Mama Maya forbade me from approaching Tian at this time. The man needs time to be alone. Especially now that I saw Tian so injured, his big hand was unwilling to release Cheery's hand from his grasp. Tian kept dipping those tiny hands over and over again, and I occasionally saw Tian slump his face over Cheery's hand.

"May ... " Mama Maya approached and stood beside Tian at this moment. "You don't worry, son. Cheery's gonna be fine."

Just like earlier, Tian did not want to talk even to his own mother.

I see, right now maybe Tian needs some time alone. I will apologize and explain everything later after Tian's feelings start to improve.

******

"Eat the Miss." Rama looked at me with both hands folded in front of his chest.

"Your mistress said you haven't eaten anything before."

"I'm not hungry yet." I answered briefly while putting a spoon over food that had not been touched at all.

"You'll get sick if you don't eat!"

I smiled wryly, looking at Rama at this moment. While Dance, the woman occasionally glanced at me and Rama alternately.

Yes, before Rama not only invited me, he asked Tari to come with him. I don't know what Rama wants to talk to me and Dance about, but I can already guess where our current conversation is going. As Tian's assistant, I believe Rama was ordered by Tian to find out what really happened to Cheery.

And now here we all are, in addition to taking me and Dance to eat, Rama also asked for an explanation of the incident that happened to Cheery.

I told Rama everything without anything I covered in front of Tari. The man just kept quiet with an occasional long sigh while listening to my explanation.

"Is Tian angry with me.?" I don't know, for now I want to hear directly from the people closest to him.

"Pak Tian is not angry, Miss." Rama took a breath first before he said. "Just ... Mr. Tian is very disappointed with you."

My shoulders slumped weak instantly. Hearing from Rama's story how Tian was doing when he heard Cheery was about to drown made me feel even more guilty. It's natural that now Tian is very disappointed in me. I don't blame her coldness on me, but am I not worthy to defend myself?

Everything that happened to Cheery wasn't what I wanted. It was all an accident, even though I was the one who caused it.

******

Cheery has been treated for two days and has not been allowed to go home by a doctor because his condition is still unstable. During those two days Tian's attitude was still the same. Although it was not as cold as the first time he came, Tian still kept me quiet more often.

Sometimes I want to give up, I don't know what I have to do again to make Tian go back to what he used to be. All the ways I have tried, but it seems Tian is still reluctant to talk to me. Even when I was feeding Cheery did not attract his attention at all.

Until the moment I decided to go.

I who just came by carrying the Mother-made dishes in hand then took a step back.

At first I wanted to give a surprise, but somehow my intention was to ponder it just like that when my eyes saw the scene that made both my eyeballs instantly teary. I should have been happy to see Tian and Cheery able to laugh off like that. However, for some reason the corner of my heart felt melos when I saw Tian could laugh with Dance there.

I saw the three of them so close. Even today they are like a very happy little family. There was no angry look there, there was no cold attitude Tian showed when he was with Dance.

I smiled wryly, rubbing the corner of my eyes that suddenly watered. Not wanting to ruin their happiness with my presence, I decided to leave.

But when I arrived at the parking lot, I suddenly saw Rama just got out of his car. Not wanting Rama to see where I am here, I hurriedly got into the car.

"Miss Naya ...!"

I heard Rama calling me, maybe Rama saw me, but I didn't care and ignored him. All I want now is to get out of this place as soon as possible, before Rama tells Tian.

******

"This is the file Mr. Tian requested."

Rama thrust some files in front of Tian which was directly reached by the man. Without waiting for long, Tian opened one by one the files, examined them before he put his signature on them.

Although he did not go to the office, Tian still works even in the hospital. That's how Tian's current activities are, he can't leave Cheery just like that even though his parents took care of Cheery in turn. Even with Dance.

Actually Tian had already banned Tari, but because of Cheery who whined finally Tian relented and allowed Tari to accompany Cheery until the child was completely healed and went home.

Every day during Cheery in Care Dance always comes. Tian felt uneasy when he was in one room with Tari. Therefore Tian always went out with the reason of wanting to go eat at Cheery. But it was not just that reason that made Tian always avoid Dance, the real reason Tian was because of Nayara.

Although still angry and disappointed in Naya, but deep down he had forgiven Naya. Actually Tian longed, he was eager to hug Naya and asked the woman to accompany him here.

However, Ego.

Again it is the egolah that dominates him at this time. Tian was still upset not because of Cheery who fell into the lake, but because he knew that Naya was with Raffi. The damn man who has now made it away from Nayara.

The few days Tian silenced Naya leaving her tormented. But he held it. Every time Naya came to visit, Tian actually wanted to hug the girl. Especially when he saw her sad face, Tian always felt unbearable.

Tian looked at the circular clock on his wrist, occasionally the man rubbed his face violently.

There was no answer from Tian other than his sharp gaze. Occasionally Tian gazed towards the entrance in front of there. Expect someone to come in with a fluffy smile that always keeps him warm.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

Tian snorted in annoyance.

"Didn't Miss Naya come here?" Despite not speaking, Rama knew that Tian was waiting for Nayara's arrival.

Tian looked at Rama. "Naya's here? when?"

Rama frowned confusedly, "I saw him in the parking lot before coming here, sir."

"But he doesn't exist. Naya's not here."

It was obviously Tian that made Rama even more confused. Was Rama wrong? clearly Rama had seen Naya, was it possible that her eyes were wrong to see?

"Hurry you call him now.?" Tell Tian who instantly got the nod from Rama.

"Not lifted, sir."

"Try on until Naya picks up the phone."

Until his twentieth call got no answer from Naya made Tian feel uneasy.

******

"Where's Dad, Aunt Naya?" Cheery asked, because Cheery had not seen Nayara all day. "Why isn't Aunt Naya here, Pa?"

Tian smiled as he rubbed his head gently. "Aunte Naya is here soon." His lie.

"There's Mama, baby."

Tian who heard was staring at the cold Dance. Tian had always disliked the increasingly bold attitude of Dance these days. Even though now between the two of them have made peace.

Tian and Tari had agreed to forgive each other for Cheery's sake. With his parents Tian. There was no sense of happiness that Tari felt when Tian and his family were willing to give him the opportunity to look after Cheery together. Initially, Dance was selfish because she had the desire to reclaim Tian, but immediately stopped when she saw Tian batapa love Nayara now. Even with Cheery who seems to really like Nayara.

Dance is conscious, and Dari knows that Nayara is a very good woman. Naya also deserves to be a mother, Cheery said.

"Cheery miss Aunt Naya?" The sound of Dance broke Tian's daydream.

"Yes, Ma." Anxious reply.

"Pa, don't be mad at Aunt Naya, will you?" Now Cheery looked at Tian. "Tante Naya is not wrong, Cheery who did not say the same Aunt Naya when he wanted to take a ball in the lake."

"Yes, honey. Papa's not angry."

Cheery smiled widely, even with Dance.

"Well, Papa go first, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"Papa's gonna go get Mama Naya."

"Ma - Mama?" Her great-grandchild.

"Dear dear, because soon Aunt Naya will be Cheery's mother too."

"Thus ... Cheery's gonna have two Mama?"

Tian who heard was chuckling a little. Because of his longing that could not be held back and continued to torture, Tian finally decided to pick Naya up and apologize for ignoring her these past few days.

Today, Tian decided to propose to Nayara. Tian wanted to marry the woman who had made him unable to turn his back on other women.

Tian wants to marry her, Tian wants to have her.

But when Tian was already in front of the gate of the girl's house, his feelings suddenly became unsettled. And sure enough, his shoulder slumped weak instantly when Mang Rahmat, the housekeeper Naya said that Naya and her mother had just gone to the airport.

Tian could no longer hear Rahmat's explanation, because Tian just got into his car. He wants to catch up with Naya before it's too late.

Tian drove his car at high speed, even with his cell phone constantly contacting Naya, but there was no answer at all.

"Armghb ..." Tian growled as his call again could not answer. "Where are you going, Nay? Why didn't you say?"

It took quite a long time to get to the airport especially when the office hours. Tian was really scared if it was too late and he could not meet Naya. Once there, Tian immediately went out and ran to the domestic departure terminal and saw the flight schedule to Surabaya.

Surabaya, that city was the last Tian heard from the mouth of Grace.

"Sir, would you please let me in?"

"Sorry, Sir. Can't."

It was futile for Tian to persuade the officers there. Tian could do nothing but regret all of his actions to Naya.

"Arrgghh ... dickhead.!" angry talk. Tian took the phone in his pants pocket, he tried to contact Naya back, but the results still remained the same.

"Damn it! really fucking you, arrgghh ..."

"What are you doing to me, Mom?"

******

Tian gasped in shock upon hearing my voice. He turned his head, and was even more surprised to see me standing next to him. To make sure that I really exist, Tian immediately cupped both of my cheeks.

"Where are you going anyway? why wasn't my phone picked up?"

"I'm silent, Mas." I answered indifferently while releasing his hand from my cheek.

"So you want to go without telling me? You want to leave me?" Tian Cecar.

"I don't leave you, Mom. It is you who will leave me."

Tian frowned with a wrinkled forehead. "You mean?"

I looked at Tian. "You're not angry with me anymore, are you?" I asked to divert the conversation. "I'm sorry, Mom." I lowered my head while pinching the strap of the bag slung over my shoulder. "I'm sorry I almost drowned Cheery."

Instantly also Tian pulled my body in his arms. The man landed a kiss on my forehead for a very long time. While I was still in his arms, somehow the clear water just flowed out of my two eyes. Especially when Tian apologized for these few days of silence. I cried and was happy when Tian said that he was tormented by missing me. I thought because of that incident Tian would leave me and go back to Dance. But it turned out wrong. Tian still loves me to this day.

******

I stared at my own appearance in the mirror. Looking back at my makeup with makeup. It's not too thick, but I look a little different to my face now. A small crown had been placed beautifully on top of my head, even with the customary clothes that had now wrapped perfectly in my body.

I feel like I'm the most beautiful woman right now.

Yes, in the end I received a proposal from Tian. After my return from Surabaya a few days ago, Tian and his family came home. The man proposed to me and asked my mother for permission and blessing to marry me. Mother also blessed us both, she was very happy when I was about to get married again to Tian.

One week after the proposal, then the next week Tian and I will have a wedding. Although it was not the first time for us, but somehow I returned to feeling a great nervousness when Tian was about to say kabul in front of the ruler and witnesses.

With a single breath and a firm voice, I have finally officially become his wife now.

The crying now began to approach me, especially when I kissed the back of the hand of the man who has now officially become my husband. Again.

"Alhamdulillah .. thank you dear."His whisper as Tian was about to anchor a kiss on the forehead.

There are many prayers I pray for my marriage. Even though I have failed, it doesn't scare me now. I'm sure my decision this time was correct. I'm also sure that Tian will be a good priest to me. And may Tian keep his promise that will be faithful until one of us is gone.

~ ****~