I'm also giving up

Another love I didn't realize

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Sebastian Aydan, by,

Like the time I can't go back to, so do the mistakes I've made. However we try to apologize and change, but it seems that the wound has been imprinted on the heart of the man I once wasted. And when that regret comes, it is too late. Everything will no longer be the same even if I just found out, if it turns out Nayara used to keep feelings for me. Turns out, that girl loves me.

I who have been blinded in love with Mentari, do not want to see her. Other than my promise of loving only one woman, I dropped my choice of heart on Dance. I was completely blind at the time, all I saw was Mentari's love, while I didn't see that there was another love for me from that girl I didn't realize.

One month after we both officially parted ways, we,

I left the house that Nayara used to live in, I chose to go out and let Mbok Iyam take care of it. I prefer to stay with Tari, other than because my parents kicked me out and Tari to leave her house, at that time Tari was pregnant.

After one week, I decided to meet Mbok Iyam. I told the middle-aged woman to prepare my belongings left behind in the house. When I was done, I who was about to leave suddenly turned my head, looking at an object lying on my desk.

I frowned, staring at the confused thing for a long time. Because as far as I know I don't have a little book like that. Then I'm sure, if the book isn't mine.

"Sorry, Sir. It looks like it's Bu's diary, Naya's book." explained Mbok Iyam who seemed to understand with my confusion.

"When Mbok cleaned Mom's room, Mbok found it under the bed. It looks like the book fell."

I'm nodding. At first I was not interested in the diary. But ... somehow I was so curious, like there was an urge that I had to bring it, and finally I decided to bring Naya's diary along with my other files.

After being in the car, I turned back to the book that I put on top of some piles of documents that were next to me. I was so curious, that I finally ventured to open it and read it.

I opened the front page, and I saw Nayara's name written there. It turned out that the diary really belonged to Nayara.

I read it little by little, it turns out Nayara is a girl who likes to pour out her heart through writing. Nayara took out all her heart inside the book. I was curious about what the girl wrote next, so I forgot about my job, I chose to stay in the car and read all of Naya's handwriting which looked so neat.

Not feeling my lips drawn upwards, I smiled as I read what Naya told me when we were both first met for the first time. Sheet by sheet I had read, and my guilt grew even greater when I found out how hurt Nayara was with my cold and indifferent attitude towards her at the time. I treated him very badly. Until the last few sheets, I was a little surprised when I read what Nayara wrote on the black white paper clearly visible there.

Nayara loves me?

That girl loves me?

I, still in disbelief, decided to open the other sheet. And I'm absolutely sure now that I've seen for myself how Nayara re-wrote about her feelings for me.

So Naya's been loving me all this time?

I don't know what I should have been like at the time? do I have to be happy because Naya already has feelings for me? or vice-versa?

Although I was a little surprised, but it did not make me feel happy in the least. Because at that time I only loved one woman. Mentari.

So when Nayara asked for a divorce on the grounds that I could not stand all my attitude, at that moment I agreed. It's free for me to maintain marriage if there's no love at all in it. Moreover, everyone already knew that I had married Tari.

I love Dance and the child in her stomach. At that time I felt like I was the happiest man because I was going to have a child and be a father. There was no other happiness I felt at that time than waiting for the birth of my son.

My days were normal as usual, even though I had lost the trust of both my parents. The two of them completely closed themselves off to me, never asking how I and Tari were doing at all. It doesn't even seem like they want my son's presence.

But I never give up, I always try to take back the hearts of Papa and Mama. Although they often ignore me. Until one day they forgave me and wanted to take me back, admitting me and my son because Dance had left me.

Three months after Tari gave birth to Cheery, the woman left me and the three-month-old baby. Dance left with the man I knew as her former lover.

Because my love was so great for her, I was blind and didn't realize that Dance had betrayed me. The woman cheated on me with my own friend.

Regretted?

Yep. I'm a little sorry. But there's no point in me regretting what happened.

I who was almost crazy at that time because of Dance, then I vented everything on drinks. Every day I go to the club until I end up drunk. If there were no Papa and Mama to help me get up, I don't know what would happen to me. I don't know what the fate of my company is and my son's.

Until the third year, I finally forgot about Dance. Eliminating the pain of my heart for that woman's betrayal. I prefer to take care of my little princess myself. Now all I have is Cheery, Papa and Mama.

I always refused whenever Mama asked me to remarry. Even when Papa would introduce me to the daughter of his business friend I refused. For now I just want to be alone, I don't want to get married because I just want to focus on taking care of Cheery.

"Later tonight you can have dinner at home right?"

"What's the matter, Ma?"

"Uncle Anthony's family will have dinner here. I hope you are present too."

It didn't take long for me to understand what Mama meant. I know, besides dinner there's something Mama's planning. What else if it wasn't to introduce me to Anthony's daughter.

"I can't, Ma."

"Maan ..." Mama bleaches. "For this time, you want to meet Bella."

"Ma ..." My head shook. "I don't want to."

"Bella's son is beautiful, she's good too. Mama thinks you're the same Bella fits."

"Ma .. How many times have I told Mama I haven't thought of remarrying." I'm at him.

"But you've been on your own for a long time, you need someone to accompany you, and Cheery needs a mother, too, son. He needs love."

"Cheery has never lacked affection, because I love him, Ma. Mom and Dad, right?"

"Yes, but it's different again." My mom was upset. "Mama just wants to see you're the same happy Cheery."

"I'm happy." My grunt is a little upset.

"As far as you." I glanced at Mama who was scowling. "In fact, Mama's choice with Papa was never one that suits you."

"Ma ..."

"Yes, right? in the past, your partner was with Nayara, the proof is that you do not like. Nayara is the only girl Mama likes."

I look at Mama now, not out of annoyance. But there was something that made me feel something that I didn't even understand when Nayara's name was mentioned.

"Mama feels guilty about Nayara." I saw Mama's face back on. "Mama hasn't apologized yet, but Naya's gone." Mama looked at me. "You really don't know, where did Naya and her mom go?"

Getting questions like that makes me a little uncomfortable.

"Somehow, I haven't calmed down until now. Mama and Papa haven't had time to apologize to Nayara and her mother for your behavior."

I looked down, aware of all the mistakes I had made. I used to look for Nayara just to say my apology to her. But after arriving at the city where Naya and her mother live, I just found out that they had moved house. I asked some people who lived not far from Nayara's house, but no one knew.

"Although embarrassed, but Mama really want to meet Nayara."

Not only was Mama ashamed, but I was also ashamed. I was like a cowardly man when I met Nayara a few days ago. I actually wanted to say hello and apologize, but it seemed like Nayara was avoiding me and thinking of me as a stranger. I know maybe now that girl hates me.

If only Mama had known that I had actually met Nayara. Will Mama be sad no more?

Because I know how sad Mama was when Nayara left.

"Tian, if Naya were still your wife ..." Mom was silent for a moment before she looked back at me.

I cringed, waiting for what Mama would say next.

"Have Naya married again?"

I kept quiet, listening to Mama who kept babbling nonstop. Without you knowing, I have the same question as him.

Ck, what am I thinking?

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