I'm also giving up

Heartbeat

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A week passed, too,

After Tian re-expressed his feelings for me, I somehow always avoided him. I haven't wanted to meet Tian since then. I had to lie when Cheery asked to meet. And lucky at that time I was always busy with work. Even two days ago I was still in Bali, and this morning I just arrived home after last night I was working in Bandung.

I was surprised when Mom said that Cheery along with Mama Maya had come to the house. He said after his return from the hospital, Cheery always whined, even the cute and adorable little boy always sulked whenever he could not see me.

Not only that, today I again refused Mom's request. Where Mom asked me to see Cheery for a little while. There was no other reason than because I felt sorry for Cheery. And the reason I refused again was because I had to go back to work later that night, and the other reason was because of Tian.

Really, for now I don't want to see him.

I remember that night, when Tian openly expressed his feelings to me again, at first I couldn't believe it, and even thought that Tian wasn't serious. But the man kept convincing until I knew that there were no lies in Tian's eyes.

I already rejected it. I said what I really wanted to say, but somehow Tian didn't seem to believe it just like that. According to the man, what I said was nothing like what he saw from the look in my eyes.

"Your lips could have said that, but not with your eyes, Naya. I know how you feel is still the same as before."

Ck, you know!

That was what Tian said back then.

******

In the afternoon, while I was fast asleep, Mom suddenly went into my room. He woke me up and said that Raffi was home, the man wanted to meet and is now waiting for me downstairs.

I nodded, asking Mom to tell Raffi to wait a bit. After I finished cleaning, I somehow felt a bit dizzy in my head. I was still standing in front of the mirror, wearing a little powder and lip dye so that my face did not look pale. When I finished, I decided to meet the man.

"Please drink, Den."

"Thank you, Bik." Raffi replied after Bi Lani put a cup of warm tea along with some snacks on the table.

"Sorry, I'm interrupting your sleep."

That's how Raffi is, despite his age of two years under me, but the man always acts more mature than myself. Raffi is a smart man, cheerful and also a little humorous. That's what makes me feel comfortable every time I'm with Raffi.

Just like now, when we were both being serious like this, talking about what happened a few days ago, raffi slipped a joke that made me finally unable to resist laughing.

Honestly, I really like Raffi like this.

"Ra .. Can I ask you something?"

"Ask what, Fi.?" I know what Raffi would ask me.

And it turns out to be true, though,

Raffi asked about Tian. Though hesitant, and carefully Raffi asks what he may have heard all along. And it turns out Raffi already knew about my past.

Now Raffi knows that Tian was my ex-husband.

"I'm sorry, Fi. I didn't mean to hide everything from you."

Raffi understood, and the man preferred to divert our conversation. For Raffi, whatever my past was had absolutely no effect on him. The man said he would accept me and love me for who I am.

I should be happy, right?

But for some reason even to this moment I still doubt my own feelings.

******

"Son... Are you sick?" Ask Mom to look me in the face a little.

"Sir, Mum. Just a little dizzy." My elak, I don't want to worry Mom. Because today I plan to visit her brother from my hometown first.

"Really?"

"Yes, Mom." I grabbed Mom's hand. "I'm not papa."

After I reassured Mom my situation, I finally felt calm. He also went in between by the driver.

A few minutes after Mom left the house, I who was still sitting on the sofa in the living room was suddenly startled by the arrival of someone. As soon as Bik Lani told me, it felt like I wanted to leave right then and there.

"Alright, Bik Lani can come back. Let me meet them."

The middle-aged woman's head nodded. After Bik Lani was not seen again, I immediately went to meet Tian and also Cheery who was probably waiting for me on the porch of the house.

"Mr Naya ..."

The typical shrill voice of the children sounded so loud in the ears. "Tante, I miss." His great-grandson again while releasing his hand from Tian's grasp. The little girl ran towards me.

I smiled, then crouched down to grab the tiny body.

"Good Aunt." The tiny lips are flowing. I don't know why Cheery hugged me so tightly. "Tante anywhere, why don't you ever see Cheery again."

"Aunty's working, baby." I looked towards Tian. The man was looking at me too. I hurried to take my eyes off.

"Aunty?"

"Yes dear."

"Auntie is sick?"

Cheery broke her embrace, then looked at me. Unexpectedly, that tiny hand touched my slightly sweaty forehead.

"Aunty's body is hot."

"It's time.!" I touched my own forehead, and it turned out that what Cheery said was true. Cheery came down from my lap, then just as I was about to stand up suddenly my head felt dizzy. I would have almost fallen if Tian had not caught my body immediately.

"Naya ... Why are you?"

I looked at him, looking at Tian's face that was so close to me. "I'm not papa, Mum." I replied while trying to remove Tian's hand from my shoulder. "Take me off, Mom."

"You're sick, your body's hot, too."

I was silent as well, and did not refuse when Tian swept my body into the house. As soon as I sat down on the sofa, Tian immediately called Bik Lani, asking the beak woman to immediately fetch some warm water along with a small towel.

I who felt this kind of dizziness could do nothing as Tian deftly compressed me.

"Maos ..."

"Do we need to go to the hospital now?"

"No." My head shook.

"But your body is hot."

"I just need to take medicine, then go to sleep."

"Yes, you rest now." Tell Tian as if he were ruling.

"Yes." Yeah." I tried to get up and asked Bik Lani to drive me into the room, leaving Tian and Cheery still there. I don't know what, I was shocked when Tian suddenly lifted my body from behind, the man was holding me now.

"Maos ..." My screams. "You're all right, didn't you? I can walk by myself."

"Bik, please take care of Cheery. Let me take Naya to her room."

"Good, sir." Bik Lani replied, I know that even the middle-aged woman was a little surprised by what Tian did.

"Mas, off."

"You don't shut up, we can both fall."

For now it's useless that I argue with a stubborn man like Tian, even though I screamed to have Tian lower me down but it seems like Tian still ignored me. The man did not hear, he did not even mind at all when I repeatedly hit his chest.

"Rest, soon Bik Lani will bring you some porridge.?" tian said as I was already on the bed.

I snorted, feeling displeased with Tian's attitude of over-treating me.

Who her?

While I was still upset at the man, I accidentally saw Tian, smiling as he watched the diary lying on the nightstand next to my bed.

"Maos ..." As soon as I stood up, it was my intention to snatch the diary from Tian's hand, but it seemed that I was too hard to pull the shirt he was wearing to put his balance out of control.

And Tian, the man fell right over my body.

Long time we both stared at each other, I could see Tian's face clearly while he was on top of my body. The guy who was looking at me was unusual. My heart was pounding hard, and it seemed like Tian was the same. A few seconds later, I realized that I immediately asked the man to stay away from my body.

"Mas, wake.!"

Tian was silent, the man was still watching me closely. I who felt uncomfortable being stared at like that immediately turned my face to the side. Really, I don't want to linger staring into those eyes.

"What does this heart beat mean. Naya?"

"What do you mean?" I turned my head, making our noses touch. I myself could feel Tian's breath that felt warm on the surface of my skin. And from the look in his eyes, I knew that something I didn't really want would happen.

I closed my eyes tightly as the soft, wet object began to touch my lips. But after that ...

Prong ...

"Astagfirullah ...."

"Papa ....!"

...****************...