I'm also giving up

Incident

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"Aaahhh .. Why can I be this stupid anyway?" I complained to myself. I turned my head, looking at the diary lying on the bed in annoyance.

"Because of my own carelessness, Tian finally found out about my feelings." My grunts were upset as I continued to stare at the diary.

I stepped towards the bed, then sat on the bed taking the diary book. Slowly, I opened the diary and reread what I had written there.

And I swear by whatever I do to myself, ashamed of my own actions that have poured out all my heart there. Moreover, I wrote so much about how I felt about Tian.

Yes, I poured out all my complaints in an article through the diary.

Although I knew there was no love for me from Tian, but somehow my feelings suddenly existed. I loved him first. I myself was confused and did not know why the feeling was suddenly present, I was trying to dodge, he said, but still I can't lie to myself if I'm really in love with a jerk like Tian.

But now, when the man found out about how I felt about him, I felt so ashamed, even more so. I don't know what Tian meant to say that sentence in front of Mother. If only there were no Mom and no Cheery, I would have kept my fucking mouth shut by then and there.

"What does Nak Tian mean?" Ask my mom full of questions. He looked at her, then turned to look at me. Although it's unclear, but it seems like Mom is starting to be suspicious.

The man smiled, and his eyes turned towards me. Long Tian looked at me until I decided to duck.

"Mrs ..." As soon as I looked back at him, the man seemed to ask permission through the look in his eyes to say something that I myself did not know what Tian was going to say next. I looked at him sharply now, but it seemed Tian was not afraid at all of my gaze.

Tian ignored me.

"Bu .. actually, I mean earlier." There's a pause in between his sentences. "Because I was too blinded in love with Dance at that time, I didn't know if it turned out to be Nayara---"

"Mass ...!" My touch with a voice that is quite high, making Mother and Cheery to be surprised at him.

"Mrs ..." Mom tried to remind me to keep my attitude that she thought was so inappropriate.

"Sorry Mom, I ..." I glanced at Tian for a moment, and unfortunately the man was looking at me with a triumphant smile. "I asked permission to talk to Mas Tian alone for a moment, Mom."

Mother sighed softly, she nodded and ...

"Alright, I'll let you talk. Let Cheery be with Mom here."

I smiled, then looked at Tian. "Mas .. I want to talk."

The man nodded, then followed me from behind.

And this is where we both are now,

I brought Tian to speak in the garden behind the house. I purposely took Tian to a place a little far away from Mother and also Cheery. Because I don't want to until Mom listens to both of us.

"I know what you want to talk to me about."

I shifted as Tian came to sit next to me. Luckily the chair was long enough so I could keep my distance with Tian at the moment.

"What do you mean, what did you say to Mom.?" I'm still in the same position. Look straight ahead with both hands folded in front of the chest.

"I told you what the truth is."

"You mean?" And now I dare to look at him. "You want to tell Mom that I love you? is that it, Mas?"

"I'm sorry, I. I really don't know if you used to feel the same way about me, Naya."

"Mass?"

"I didn't know you loved me."

"Mas ...!!"

"I just found out, if you love a jerk like me?"

"Mas ... enough.!"

For a few seconds we both stared at each other. I looked at him full of annoyance, but not with Tian. The man looked at me with a look that was very difficult for me to understand. Those two dark eyeballs looked at me fixedly and deeply. Tian completely locked onto my current gaze. And somehow I was stuck with that look myself.

We stared at each other for a long time, until I regained my senses when Tian came back to tell me something.

"If I had known from the beginning, it might have been me-"

"I know who you are. I know what you're like. Mas." I took a deep breath to ease the rumble in the chest that was ready to explode at any time.

"Did you remember what you used to treat me like? If you knew how I felt in the first place, are you sure you would return my love as well?"

I looked at the man, even with Tian. He just kept quiet and let me talk, giving me a chance to blow it all away.

"When you only love dance. You've never seen me one bit, Mom. In your eyes at that time there was only Dance. Dance and Dance."

"I'm wrong to have the same feelings for you, which are obviously up to any time you'll never fall in love with me."

I smiled wryly, "But that used to be Mas. Since I'm no longer your wife, that feeling has gone. So I beg you, never bring up something so impossible now."

"Yes." Yeah." The man's head nodded, "But what if I had that feeling now?"

"You mean?" I was a little surprised.

"What if I love you now?" Say it without further ado.

What say?

Of love?

"What?" As I stood up, I slightly retreated and accidentally shifted the pole used by some workers who were renovating the house as a buffer up there.

I'm fallin.

And ...

"Naya, look out ..." Tian who saw the bamboo almost fall on me, hurriedly crouched down and hugged me, letting the two fallen bamboos fall on his back.

"Aren't you papa?" Tian asked as the man removed his embrace from my body. His hands are still faithfully holding both hands.

I was still fixated, my body seemed to be powerless when I remembered what had happened just now. Again and again, Tian came back to help me.

"Mrs ..."

"Mr ..."

Mother's voice and Cheery's made me realize, I hurriedly removed Tian's hand from mine.

Mother led Cheery, they hurriedly approached us both.

"Geez .. What happened?" Ask my mom worried. He stared at the two bamboos lying on the floor. "Why is this so? You guys aren't papa?"

I shook my head, even with Tian. My mother helped me to stand up. My eyes glanced when I saw Tian also standing up, the man grimaced a little while holding his back.

"It looks like Mas Tian was injured, Mom."

I saw Tian, "We'd better go to the hospital now."

"No need, Mom. I'm not papa." Reject Tian by giving a smile.

"Well, let me check your wounds first."

We all decided to go back inside the house. Mother, Tian and Cheery were already in the living room, while I rushed to get the medicine box first.

Shortly after, I checked it out. And it turned out that there were some bruises on the man's back. I grimaced as Mother applied the ointment over Tian's injured back. Seeing that certainly made me feel a little guilty, because I Tian got hurt like this.

After it was done, Tian finally decided to go home because it was almost evening. The man apologized and thanked Mom a lot. Even with his own mother, he apologized for the incident that had occurred. While I was, somehow I just kept quiet. My mouth seemed to be locked tightly, and it felt very difficult for me to just say thank you.

"Mass?"

Tian who was just about to open the car door suddenly stopped, the man looked back. Then ask Cheery to get into his car first.

"What's wrong?" Ask after we both faced each other.

"Thank you." Saying later. "I'm sorry, because of me you got hurt."

Tian nodded, then looked at me now. I retreated a bit back as Tian approached. And I was so shocked when Tian said something that made me gape in disbelief.

"I'm willing to get hurt worse than this for you."

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