I'm also giving up

Old wounds

Aydan compound,

If time could turn back, I would never do anything wrong to Naya. Maybe then I will accept the match and accept Naya as my wife. But honey, if that's the way the story goes, then I'll never be conscious. Maybe all this time God rarely tested me, until finally God presented Naya in my life. Naya came to test to where the limits of my ability are.

And there, I really realized what my nature was like. I realized that I was a jerk who never appreciated the feelings of others. And I did all that to Nayara.

I don't know why regret is never lost in the mind. The woman I wasted, is now the woman who has moved my heart.

I realized that the feeling of love came by itself, with or without coercion from anyone. I also admit that it turns out that this heart has kept his name. And now, I was made to fall back in love with how she treated Cheery.

As a woman who has not had children, Naya is a very kind and gentle girl, I saw her tenderness and motherhood as she was with Cheery. Naya, the girl who used to keep her voice up, now dares to scold me just for Cheery. I didn't think Naya would be that sorry when I accidentally snapped at Cheery. Instead of being angry, I was happy to see Naya who was like that.

It's not 'sook to know' but I'm sure Naya really loves Cheery.

And am I wrong if I now wish to have it back?

Although hesitant because of Naya's attitude that always avoids, but I will not give up just like that. I will try to get her love back. I'll take her heart back in any way. Because now I cannot lie to my own feelings, in every breath, in every night, even in every prayer, I slip a name that always makes my heart tremble.

Syila Nayara.

Maybe I was a selfish man, after hurting him and making him cry, I wanted to have him now.

I really fell in love with her, falling deeply in love with that girl.

And I was completely convinced of my own feelings for Naya, when I accidentally met Mentari again.

Yes, Dance.

The woman I used to glorify her name, the woman who used to make me unable to look away at another woman, and the woman who was once the only one in my heart. But that feeling has now disappeared by itself.

At first I couldn't believe it, I froze on the spot when I saw that face. Honestly, Dance is still the same as it used to be. The woman did not change in the slightest other than her body that looked thinner.

I stared at him wordlessly, even with him looking at me softly. When I saw it, there was not the slightest bit of thrilling vibrations I felt other than hatred that began to creep into my mind.

Maybe I'm evil, but for now I'm really not ready to talk to him right now. Either because of the impulse of what made me finally pull Naya's hand, bring the delicate hand for me to hold and leave Tari who was still staring at me there with a puddle of tears in the fertilizer.

I feel like I have power when this hand can't be held by hers. Belonging to the woman who now controls my heart.

Anger and hatred had completely consumed my entire consciousness now, until I forgot that my tone was too high, making my little daughter so frightened.

"Take your voice, Mommy.?"

That's what Naya said, her face looked annoyed and angry. His voice was a little high.

I realized what I had done. The regret came back to mind when I accidentally snapped at Cheery.

Arriving at home I was still surprised by Naya's attitude. It turned out that the girl was still really mad at me. Even when the upset had not gone away, Naya unhesitatingly did not allow me to carry Cheery.

Instead of being angry, I saw the other side of him. It turns out that Naya still cares, and Naya really loves Cheery like her own daughter.

"I hope you're sorry about Cheery when he wakes up, Mom."

"I don't like you snapping Cheery like that."

I looked at her in silence, for some reason I liked Naya so much. The feeling of wanting to have it is getting bigger. But I hesitated, and I felt unworthy to get his love back. Remembering how I used to treat him.

And today, I can't stem my feelings anymore. I pulled Naya in a hug, hugging her so tightly. I knew Naya was surprised, but after that she kept quiet and received a hug from me.

I don't know why I'm crying. I'm like not myself, not a Tian with his high selfishness. I don't care about my pride falling in front of Naya, nor do I care if Naya thinks of me as a weak man.

All I wanted was to be able to hug Naya right now, and all I felt now was a sense of regret.

Regrets for never thinking of Nayara as a wife.

Lord .. May I ask, please allow me to atone for all my wrongs first to him. I love her now. I love him so much, and I want to have him back.

I slumped my face around her neck, I hugged her tightly. Hiding the clear water that kept coming out shamelessly was on his shoulder.

And I was delighted when Naya welcomed my embrace. Giving a hug that makes me feel calm and comfortable.

******

A few days later,

I, who was fighting with my own mind, finally decided to meet Tari. After an accidental meeting the other day, it turns out that Tari had come to my house several times. The woman did not dare to enter, she just left a letter to the main gatekeeper.

According to the request of the woman, I decided to meet her and speak to her face to face.

"I'm sorry, Mom." It was the first word that came out of his lips.

"Ck." I'm clucking. "What's the apology for?"

Dance looked at me, in that look I saw deep regret. But it didn't change anything, including my feelings.

Whether to feel happy or guilty, I was surprised by the story of Dance why she left me when it caught my attention a little.

"I was forced to leave you and our son for your happiness, Mas. I don't want your relationship with your parents to be strained because of me."

"Stupid! what kind of reason is that?"

"I did it because I obeyed the wishes of your Papa, Mas."

Once a little surprised and in disbelief, but it seems like Tari is not lying. So all this time Papa took part in the departure of Tari?

There's so much more that Tari explains to me. Including his departure with his ex-girlfriend. I just kept quiet, gave Tari time to get it all out, until I decided to leave. There are not many words I say other than a very short answer. I don't know, I think I'm tired and I don't want to look back.

I want to enjoy my life now without remembering the past. Especially open old wounds that have dried up.

"Where are you?"

" ...."

"I've been there now, wait for me."

Not wasting any time, so I decided to go see him.

"For what, Mom?"

"I want to see you ... Nayara."

...****************...