I'm also giving up

I'm also giving up
Bereft






I'm actually lazy to go back to this house. The house that had been a silent witness to how Tian and I lived in it. The house that I have occupied for three months, and the house that might soon be only a memory.


I, who had lost my spirit and purpose in returning to this house, suddenly jolted as Tian's roaring voice sounded. I don't know since when the man was in front of me, looking at me with a gaze that was very difficult for me to understand.


"Where have you been?"


I looked at him, but before long, I decided to throw my face to the side. I don't want to see that face linger.


"Nayara, answer me?"


"No business, you!" Ketus. I don't care even if Tian is angry. I just wanted to get into my room, and then pack all my clothes. Yes, tonight I decided to get out of this house.


I walked past Tian and Mbok Iyam who was still standing beside the man while looking at me pity. As soon as my foot was on the last step of the stairs, I gasped when Tian suddenly pulled my hand until I accidentally hit the chest of the man's field.


"Mass?"


"We need to talk."


"Nothing to talk about." I tried to get away from the man. But unfortunately, this is too difficult for me.


"I want to talk." Chortled.


"Speak what, Mas? You want to talk if you're married to that woman, right?" I don't know why I can't hold back my emotions right now. I wanted to cry, but I could bear it as much as I could. I don't want to cry in front of the man who makes me cry so much. No. gabe.


"I'm tired, Mas. I'mtired. Then now let me get out of this house."


"May ..." Instantly the man took my hand out of his grip. And now, I saw Tian's usual gaze. We both stared at each other for a long time, until I realized.


I, who did not want to linger with Tian, immediately decided to leave him and enter the room. I decided to pack all my clothes, and then I left.


"Naya, what are you doing?" I guess Tian didn't follow me into the room, but he was already standing behind my back.


I didn't answer. I chose to shut up and put all my clothes in the suitcase I just picked up from inside the closet.


"Naya, we're talking about this all right." The man followed me from behind. "Nadzara!!" His touch made me cry in shock.


I turned my head, flicked my activities that were packing clothes and looked at him dislike. While Tian, that man is the same as me. Tian was furious, visible from his red face and his hardened jaw.


"What makes you angry, Mom? you should be happy because I'm leaving and won't bother you anymore."


"But it's not like this, Nay." Eventually the sound weakened. The man approached. Standing in front of me right now while touching both my shoulders. "I'm sorry, because I've married Tari."


I screeched in disdain, releasing Tian's hand from my shoulder.


"I don't care, Mom. You want to marry her or anyone else. I don't care." I grunt. Tian was back in silence.


Taking a deep breath while pulling my hair back, I saw my own appearance that was unintentionally seen from the reflection of the mirror in the room, I did not expect, it turned out that I looked so bad.


"I know you never wanted this wedding. I know you hate me, I know you never like me. But why do you have to do this way you hurt me, Mom?" I swear by anything, my heart is hurting right now.


"Mrs ..."


"Our marriage has only been running for three months, Mas. You knew?" There's a pause in my sentence. "I wanted to keep this marriage for at least the next year. You know why? because I don't want to let my family or yours down, Mas."


I took one step back while wiping the corner of my eye that was starting to pool. "Why are you selfish? you never appreciate my feelings."


The man was still silent, it seemed like Tian had indeed intentionally allowed me to bring out all my irritation to him.


"You're bad, you son of a bitch. You are a selfish man. I hate ... I hate. I hate you, Mom!" My screams frustrated.


Not long after, I put all my clothes back in my suitcase so that there was not a single shirt that I lived there. I've decided to go and end this fake marriage. I'll let them both be happy. After it was almost done, I accidentally saw my phone screen on. I glanced at her and my mother's name was there. Even with Tian, the man looked at me and stared at my phone in turn.


Do you think you might know that I'm not okay here?


I ignored a call from my own mother, intending to leave this house immediately, and then call her back later. But after I dropped the suitcase off the bed, my phone rang. And Mom called me back. Suddenly my feelings became uneasy. What was?


Again, I didn't take a call from him. I chose to drag my suitcase and leave this house. But just a few steps away, I heard Tian's slightly surprised voice when I received the call that I believed was from my mother. I stopped, and somehow my feelings became unsettled after the man mentioned my father's name.


I turned my body around for a moment, then looked at Tian who was still showing a surprised and also sad look.


"Nay ... Dad ..."


My body suddenly shook, and my eyes began to glaze over as Tian mentioned Father's name.


"What's wrong?" My toot. I grew even more unsettled when I saw Tian close his eyes, then bow his head in a doldrums.


"Maos ..." I'm getting more and more unsettled, I snatched away the phone that Tian was still holding in his grasp. And I saw that call had not been interrupted.


"Hello, Ma?. Mom it's me Naya, Mom. What's up?" I'm so scared. And my fear grew when I heard my mother's voice crying across the street.


"Mother ..." My voice vibrates. And Tian came up to me while touching both of my shoulders from behind.


"Nope ..." Mom's getting sobbing in there. "Son, your dear father."


"Why with Dad? what's going on, Mom?"


"Your father is gone." I heard my mother crying.


"A - what do you mean, Mommy?"


"Dad, it's dead, son."


Deg, man,


I jerked. My breath suddenly choked. I felt a great thump hit my chest hard. "A-what, Mom? A- dad died?"


"Yes, Son. Your father had a heart attack. And now I'm still in the hospital."


Somehow I have to describe how I feel right now. My world seemed to collapse, my legs felt weak and I could no longer stand on my feet. I need a grip, and the heart that was pumped fast is now as though it is numb.


Dad died? he's gone to leave me?


"Naya, you have to be patient. You must be strong. God loves you more, so he's calling you now." Tian gave me spirit and strength even though he was also sad. However Tian already considered Naya's father as his father as well.


"Mas ... Dad, Mas.!" My screams. "Dad, Mom." I roared, my chest felt tight and sore. Even the pain of knowing about Tian marrying another woman was not worth the pain when I had to lose Father.


"She, you have to be patient." Said Tian hesitating then giving a hug. "You must be strong."


Both my hands returned his embrace. "It's impossible." I screamed hysterically. "Dad can't leave me."


"May ..." Tian gently stroked my head and shoulders. I sobbed loudly, my tears were now soaking in Tian's clothes that were hugging me tightly.


I've lost Dad.


Why did Dad leave when I needed your hug right now. Why you leave when I need a grip.


"You must be strong, Nay ..."


Strong? No, I can't be strong now. I don't know if I can be strong when I'm sad here alone. I'm weak. And I need Dad's figure here.


It's only Dad I need now to strengthen myself.


Then after you leave, who will take care of me and Mom?


While I don't have anyone else. Let alone the only man that Dad believed in taking care of me, sooner or later he would walk away from my life.


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