I'm also giving up

Not mine

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"Tian, Mama really did not expect to see Naya and her mother again."

I was driving and just focused on the streets. Then, my gaze turned to look at Cheery from inside the rearview mirror. Apparently, Cheery had fallen asleep on the lap of Asih, his nanny.

"Finally, Mama can live quietly now." His words again made me glance at him.

"Actually Mama was embarrassed when she met them, you saw for yourself, right, how Naya and her mother are still being nice to us?"

I turned my head, then nodded while throwing a faint smile. What Mama said is true. But it only happened to Mama, not to me. I saw Mom still being as friendly as she used to be, when I was her daughter-in-law. But not with Nayara, for the second time we both met, Naya still showed a face and unfriendly attitude to me.

Let alone to say hello, smile or see me it feels very reluctant for the girl to do.

To be honest, I did watch her a few times secretly. The girl always smiled broadly, even being friendly to Mama. But when we accidentally meet the eyes of the two of us, Nayara turns into a girl who is ketus and also cold.

Even though we haven't seen each other for five years, I know who Nayara is. Although at the time the girl was still the wife I had neglected, but I had known her little by little. I see nothing has changed from Nayara. The girl was still the same as before, only now Nayara's body looked thinner. Unlike when we met at the nightclub that time, I saw Nayara was completely different, unlike earlier when we all had lunch together.

Today I went back to see the old Nayara, the simple girl who never wears thick makeup. He just put a little makeup on the face and dye on the lips. And again, the clothes he used were not like when he worked as a DJ.

I never thought that Naya and I would be back together.

"Naya's still pretty, and it looks like Cheery likes her too." I kept quiet, not one bit to discuss what we shouldn't have discussed.

"If only, Naya---"

"Ma ..." As soon as. I know where Mama's talking is going. I just don't want Mama to talk about something that couldn't have happened. Because I know that Nayara hates me now.

Mama sighed, her face looked very upset at this moment.

"Oh yes." Mama suddenly changed her sitting position, tilting her body to face me. "You don't forget, tonight we'll have dinner together."

I looked back before looking back at the streets. "I don't think I can, Ma."

"Why?"

"Because tonight I have to go to the top."

"peak? whynot? business work?"

My head shook, "No, Ma."

"Then?"

"My friend just got home from Amrik, he's having a little party there."

"You can cancel, Tian." Pinta Mama weld.

"But I promise you, Ma." My rest.

"How will dinner go?"

"Without me, Ma."

"But, Bella? I promised I'd know you and him."

As always, Mama has always been the number one person when it comes to introducing me to women. It's not that I don't appreciate the wishes of my parents. But for now I just want to be alone, and I haven't been able to open my heart to other women. I don't know when, because I don't know for sure either.

I know what my mistakes were in the past, hurting people I shouldn't hurt.

Regretted?

Of course, because of my stupidity and selfishness I lost the trust of both my parents. And my biggest mistake back then was ignoring a girl as good as Nayara because of that woman. Maybe God was angry, and gave me punishment in his own way.

And now that I'm starting to realize, I learned a lot from my past mistakes. I'm just a human being, I'm not a perfect man like everyone else, and I'm a sinner. What's wrong if I want to change for the better?

I just don't want to lose the people I have right now. There's only Cheery, Mama and Papa.

When I got home, I put Cheery to bed in his room. After that I rushed into my own room, laying down my body on the mattress while staring at the ceiling of the room in the room.

I closed my eyes tightly, and I was so shocked. I who had originally laid my body on the bed, suddenly woke up and immediately leaned my body on the head of the bed. I shook my head, not believing what I saw when I closed my eyes.

"What am I thinking?" I muttered while rubbing a rough face.

How can Nayara's face suddenly appear when my eyes are closed?

"No way." Again, my head shook, "That's impossible." Then, my eyes turned to the nightstand next to my bed right now. I looked at the diary, stared at it for a long time. And somehow my hand moved by itself to grab the diary book.

What I don't want, but now I want to see and read it again.

******

"Oh my God .. What am I thinking?" I screamed in disbelief. My head shook for a moment. Making someone who was sitting on the sofa in my room was frowning confused looking at me.

"Why, lo?" Ask suspiciously.

"No papa." I hurried down from the bed, approached Geril and my assistant there.

"Prepare from now on, Ra. We'll just go to the top." Said Geril with the eye pokus on the phone screen.

While I, the,

I was still silent and still could not believe what I had just experienced. I shuddered as Tian's face, the man who had just met me a few hours ago flashed through his head.

"Ra?"

Calling Geril back, the man seemed to be suspicious of my inertia.

"Lo's sick?"

"Yes." Yeah." I'm shaking. "No." I answered later with a stiff smile.

Geril and my assistant were throwing gazes at each other, seeing me like that certainly made both of them feel strange. But it didn't last long as I switched the conversation.

Until a few minutes later, Geril and I prepared to go to the top this afternoon as well.

The journey from Jakarta to the top usually only takes less than two hours, but because of the heavy traffic, especially on weekends like this makes the trip feel almost long.

Even I, who was sitting in front, felt annoyed that I was stuck in a very long traffic jam like this.

After a long wait, finally the car we were riding could go back. But ... While on the way to the location, suddenly Geril's car stopped in the middle of a quiet road like this.

"Dam ...!" Geril hit the steering wheel repeatedly. "Pake the show strike again." Annoyed annoyed. I, who was sitting next to him, immediately came out when Geril and my assistant Nenci, came out.

"Where?" I asked Geril who was fiddling with his car engine.

"I think I'm gonna ask them for help to get us here."

"The car's really on strike?"

"Hit ..." Answer with a head that nodded.

While Geril and Nenci were still trying to start the engine of his car, I decided to sit on one of the wooden benches not far from where they were. I was playing the phone until I did not realize that there was a black car that stopped right behind Geril's car.

"Ma ..." Nenci.

I looked up, hurriedly walking towards them.

"Buruan get in, we get in their car."

Them?

I also saw Revan there, the man smiled at me. While in the same place as Geril, I saw someone who seemed familiar in my eyes. The man was helping Geril start the engine of his broken car.

"Gue told people to take your car to the garage, Ril." Revan said as he turned off his call.

"Sory, Van. I'm getting nerepotin."

"Ck, stale lo.!" The man chuckled. But his eyes did not turn away from me.

I who feel uncomfortable because I continue to be noticed like that, hurriedly throw away the view. And in the next second, my eyes widened perfectly with gaping mouths of disbelief. It turned out that the person who was with Geril was Tian. The third time I've met him

Why could there be him? why is it a coincidence like this?

I was a little surprised, but not with that guy. It seems Tian already knows that I'm in the same car as Geril.

For a moment the eyes of the two of us met. And I see, the man's lips curled up to form a smile. That smile I wanted to see since I was his wife. But I never got it. Because the owner of that smile is Mentari, not me.

But right now, I don't want to see that smile. So when Tian got closer, as usual I always put on a hostile face. I don't know why I always wanted to act like that when I met him. I threw my eyes away, didn't want to stare at each other for long, then got into a car that didn't belong to anyone.

Because I was afraid, if the wall I had put up high would fall back just because of a smile that was not mine.

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