Honeyed

Honey Ep.10 (SEASON 2)

I opened the envelope that my brother Aldi had just given me. Honestly, my heart is not care when I will open and read the envelope from my Mother-in-law. My body is shaking violently. After a month or so, pure I never again have communication with Mother and my ex-husband Fatih. Today, when my husband and I intend to take a vacation and get together with my family. This letter came ruining my mood. I slowly unfolded the paper inside the envelope. I read it slowly, sentence by sentence. The lower I read Mother's handwriting, the more my heart was broken. Even this is the first time I saw the writing of my former Mother-in-law. Very neat and really beautiful. Much different from the assumptions and assumptions of most people. Doctors are hard to read. Mommy asked me to come to Jakarta and see my ex-husband. Even in the letter that Mother sent me, so much Mother pleaded with me, so that I would come to see her son. I have to how?, it seems like Mother is really in a difficult condition and situation. I saw there was a paper tear drop that Mother used to send me a letter. There were a few drops, and it made the ink fade, fortunately it was still legible. Mother did not explain what is meant by the circumstances of Fatih my ex-husband, I do not know what is being experienced by my ex-husband. Is he sick?, or why?. And should I come to fulfill Mother's request of me?. My feelings have become unbecoming. The situation trapped me again. What would my husband Fahmi think?, if I suddenly went to Jakarta to meet my ex-husband?. What will be the broken feelings of Fahmi because of me?. My tears are dripping, right in the old teardrops. I folded the paper and put it in the envelope again. And I put the letter from Mother on the small bookshelf in my room.

I got out of the room and ran to the room that was never used. The room was commonly used to store items that were no longer used, or it could be called a storage warehouse. Even a warehouse, but this room is not like the description of the warehouse in general. Umi is very diligent in arranging and cleaning it. So that small warehouse in my house is really very neat and clean. I purposely entered this room, I wanted to cry. I want to cry without anyone knowing. Especially, I don't want to cry in front of my husband. I sat on the floor, hugged my knees and cried alone. Why else would fate bring me into my past life?. Why?, can't I be given the opportunity to move on and step with someone who is now my future?.

Unintentionally, my feet pulled a cloth that was used to cover things that were no longer needed. Until the cloth fell, I was shocked. It turns out that of all the items in this warehouse, there is one item that really hurt me. Umi apparently put a picture frame of my wedding with mas Fatih in this room. The picture frame is quite big. At that time, I asked Umi for help, to get rid of everything that could remind me of Fatih mas, including my wedding photo with her. The photo that used to be beautifully displayed inside the wall of my room. I cursed myself, who accidentally made the cloth fall. Inevitably, I finally looked back at my wedding photo with my ex-husband Fatih. Ah, how an aura of happiness and full of flowers of love that is growing emanated from the face in the wedding photo.

"What is God?, why did you Fatih?. Why did your mother even beg me, so that I could come to see you?. Hix... hicks...,". I sniffed in front of my old wedding photo. Such a heart-wrenching marriage, a marriage that can no longer be maintained. What am I supposed to do?. I no longer want to remember my painful past, O God. I hugged my knees tightly and submerged my head deeply.

"Dad?,". I called my wife, who was sitting and crying in front of her wedding photo with her ex-husband.

My heart is broken for sure, it hurts to know the wife I love so much even to cry in front of her wedding photos. Can't she just forget the person she's been to and the past?, and can't Aisyah accept me and love me the way she used to love her ex-husband?. I can only take a deep stand. To be honest, I accidentally saw the door of the room open. I was thirsty, so I headed to the kitchen for a drink. The location of the room that is used as a warehouse is indeed very close to the kitchen, precisely on the right side of the kitchen of my in-laws house. My intention is just to close the door that is not close, but what can I do?. My ears are very sensitive, I hear the cry of the woman who is restrained. I finally got curious and looked inside the room. How limp my body was, when I found out that the woman holding back her cries in a barn was my own wife. Who pierced my heart so deeply, witnessed for myself that my wife sat hugging her knees while crying in front of a picture of her marriage with her ex-husband. To be honest, I held back my tears from falling. I'm a man, I have to be strong. And I can't cry, as painful as that. I've been watching Aisyah my wife for a long time. Aisha was unaware of my presence. Until I finally decided to call her name slowly, with my raucous voice.

"Ma-ma-mas Fahmi?!,". Aisyah's voice. She was so nervous to see me watching her cry in front of her old wedding photo. Aisyah immediately wiped her tears.

"What is he doing here, brother?,". I'm trying to stay calm. Though to be honest my heart is broken and deeply hurt.

"A-Aisha is not doing anything. Since when is Fahmi here?,". Aisha asked me. He immediately got up from his sitting position.

I went in and approached my wife. Aisyah looks so scared and feels guilty to me. I can feel that. My wife even lowered her head deeply. He did not dare look me in the face. I'm trying to stay calm. The Istighfar I have always spoken in my heart.

"That's how happy you are in this photo. You're so pretty, baby,". I said to Aisha. Now I'm standing in front of a picture of my wife's wedding to her ex-husband.

"Mas Fahmi?,".

"Why is it?, why are you crying in the storehouse alone?, in front of this photo?,". I tried asking my wife.

"Yes...,".

"Before you go, you go nowhere. Go out first. Wait Fahmi yah,". My husband told me to stay in this barn room. I don't know what Fahmi will do.

O Allah, what should Aisha do?. Mas Fahmi even saw Aisyah crying alone in this warehouse. And it turns out that Fahmi also saw the wedding photo of Aisyah with Fatih mas first. How evil I am to Fahmi, I really do not mean anything. I'm sure, at this time the heart of Fahmi must be broken. I didn't realize that as it turned out, the barn door wasn't tightly shut. You tellor Aisha, Abaghfirullah. I was still standing unmoved until my husband came. Not waiting for long, I saw my husband carrying a picture frame that was as large as the frame that was now in front of me. Who did Fahmi take to the warehouse?.

"Mas?!. Achaghfirullah Fahmi. Why would you bring a picture of our wedding in this barn?,". I was confused by what my husband did.

"Dik Aisyah, let our wedding photos be here. And this photo we take and put in our room,". Fahmi's words shocked me half to death, and I became more and more cornered and sinful with my husband.

"Hiks.. hiks.. Mas?, not mas. Aisyah doesn't want that at all. Bring our wedding photos into the room again, will you?,". I can't hold back my tears anymore. I was crying as much as I could.

"Dik, I understand. It is not easy for you to forget your past so quickly. Moreover, you have been married long enough to your ex-husband. Mas didn't force Aisyah to quickly love you as your husband, and forget about your ex-husband. In fact, I understand very well. Heart problems nobody knows. Aisyah my wife, heart is broken to see the wedding photos of the wife with her ex-husband was still stored. But you know dik?, it would be more devastating to me, when my very beloved wife cried alone in the storehouse just to remember and see the wedding photos first. So I thought, it's okay. Maybe they have to sacrifice. Let us put this picture in your room until you have truly let go and forgotten Fatih your ex-husband. And also, being able to accept and love you like you used to love your husband Fatih,".

Astaghfirullah, I have absolutely no intention to see my wedding photo with Fatih mas. I cry for all who learn for me. All of this has become a destiny and a way of life story that will not want to, like or dislike I have to accept and I live. No lie, I really don't know. If it turns out Umi keeps this photo in the warehouse along with other items. My husband misunderstood me. I am not weeping for my marriage which has run aground. But I cry over the fate I'm facing.

"Mas, Aisyah doesn't want our wedding photos to be in this room. Aisyah please, please put this photo again in our room mas. Aisyah doesn't want to, Umi and Abi see our picture is not in my room,". I persuaded my husband to bring back my wedding photo with him into my room again.

"Mas, there is no need to convince Aisha like that. Aisyah was even very sure about Fahmi,". I wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry, if there's a mas in your life. Not able to help you out of the past. Forgive me if for a month more be your husband. Mas can't make Aisyah fall in love, like Fatih who can make you love her so much. Sorry...,".

"Mas Fahmi?, mas is already the best for Aisyah mas. Mas Fatih was just a part of Aisyah's past. Aisyah many wrongs and sins on Fahmi mas. Aisha had no intention whatsoever to harm you mas,".

"My wife Aisyah, Fahmi hasn't been able to be the best. Even today, I feel like I failed at being a husband. How can mas be said to be the best Aisyah?, if only this time. Mas witnessed for himself, the wife sat down while holding back tears in front of her wedding photo that had run aground?,". Answer Fahmi while looking at the wedding photo of Fatih mas with me.

"Mas?. Hix... hicks...,".

"Does Aisha still love Fatih dik?,".

I was wide-eyed to hear Fahmi's question to me. Where did it come from, my husband could ask me that?. I don't still love Fatih. I mean, I just need time to forget everything. Very natural and human is not it?, I live two more years with my ex-husband, so many memories and all bitter life that I lived first. Even now, I am still trying to forget all my past. I accepted Fahmi as my husband, I was learning to love him. Fahmi and I have never met. I met him for the first time during the ta'aruf process. Memories are formed because of time, then with time the memories will be far behind and then forgotten.

"Mas?!. Why did I ask Aisyah mas that?!. Mas Fahmi, Aisyah is now the legal wife of Fahmi. How could Aisyah love a man who is not kosher for Aisyah mas?. Please, don't ever ask me that again,".

"I'm sorry, you know, if your questions hurt and displease you. Even though you replied, that Aisyah still has a sense left behind for Fatih your ex-husband. I will not scold you, Dik. Mas also does not want to force you to love the mas with sincerity and sincerity Aisha. As sick as anything and as devastating as the feeling of. Mas always tried and prayed in, so that Fahmi mas could be loved by Aisyah with all her heart. Like I love you now Aisha my wife,".

"Mas, Ayesha just....,". I haven't finished my words yet. Fahmi cut it first.

"It just takes time, right?, I know. So love you the time and opportunity to continue to look at your old wedding photos, without hiding and alone in the warehouse. It's okay for me. You will be patient, and swallow the pain and heartbreak all by yourself. Origin Aisyah, no more crying in the storehouse ya dik,".

"Mas Fahmi?!, Aisyah to the warehouse is not to see this photo mas. Aisyah did not even have the slightest intention to see Aisyah's wedding photo just yet?!,". Unintentionally my tone was a little high on my husband. I don't like, again Fahmi mas think I'm a kegudang deliberately to see this wedding photo. I understand, my husband is jealous. I'm sure, Fahmi was just trying to be patient and calm in front of me, even though his heart and feelings had been hurt because of this incident.

"Then for what dik?, why Aisyah kegorang and cry?. What makes you cry my wife?. Then, why do you see you sitting in front of your wedding photo with your ex-husband in the first place?, why?,".

I haven't answered my husband's question yet. Fahmi and I heard Aldi's voice calling my name and Fahmi's name.

"Sir Aishaaah...?!, Brother Fahmi..?!. Umi same Abi has returned Brother. Brother where are you?,". Shouted Aldi who was looking for my existence and Fahmi mas.

I wiped my tears. Fahmi returned with a picture frame of my wedding with him. I took a deep breath, I did not want Umi and Abi to know, about the business and the checks that had just happened between me and Fahmi mas. It's not a fight, it's just a misunderstanding. I wonder, what when Fahmi took a photo in the room, he did not even see an envelope that I put on a small table rack in the room?. I came out of the barn, after my breathing was in order. My tears are really not left. I caught up with Fahmi who had first come out of the warehouse.

"Well, son Fahmi?, the picture frame wants to be flanked?,". Ask Umi to Fahmi.

"Oh it's out of Mi's warehouse,". Answer Fahmi.

Fahmi returned after putting the photo in the room. Me, my husband, my sister, and my parents were gathered in the family room. We take each other off the kangen. It feels a little awkward with Fahmi mas, after the incident in the warehouse.

"I'm sorry Aisyah mas,". I said in my heart.

Fahmi's face looked calm. It's like nothing ever happened. I know, she just hid her pain and disappointment. And of course, so that Umi and Abi do not suspect.