Honeyed

Honey Ep.5 (SEASON 2)

It's been a month since my son's father underwent regular therapy and medication. There was a little change, he was easy to rest, eating was also regular. But he still daydreams and cries. Of course by mentioning the name Aisyah. Fatih my son has not been able to communicate as before. Every time they are asked or talked. He'll always be quiet, and then just walk away. Until this moment, I have not followed the directions and advice of Dr. Heru. Though every time I brought Fatih my son for control and therapy, Heru's doctor always suggested that Aisyah be reunited with Fatih. I'm still traumatized from what happened. I don't want to make any more decisions. I don't want to destroy everything again. I'm a mother, I don't want to hurt my son. But I'm trapped too. Why does God always give me two very difficult choices?. I really want to give up. I can't bear to keep seeing my only son's condition like that.

"Bun, where is the photo that Fatih left to Mommy?,". Suddenly my son came from behind.

"What photo son?, Mother does not keep any photos son,". My words lied. I don't want to give Fatih's wedding photo with Aisyah to her. I was just helping my son to accept the fact that Ayesha was no longer his.

"Bun?!. Fatih would not be willing if the photo was lost Bun. Where is your photo?!. At that time Fatih put it on Mother. Where did Mother put Photos of Aisyah and Fatih?,". My son's eyes are so sharp. She really wanted me to return the picture of her marriage to Aisyah first.

"Mother doesn't know son. Why did you hide your photo with Aisyah?,". I said to my son, who was getting worse at the loss of the photos he often talked to, and slept with.

"Hiks.. hicks...,. Mother was a photo of Fatih with Aisyah Bun,".

I saw my son's two eyeballs shedding tears. Fatih then walked while crying and headed to her room again. I couldn't bear to see Fatih cry, but I would not have the heart if my son was constantly trapped by the shadow of his past. I'm not after Fatih. I let my own son in the room. The wall clock in the corner of the room shows twelve o'clock in the afternoon. Adzan dzuhur soon. I better take ablution and prayer. Thank God, since the bitter incident that occurred to me and my son Fatih. I who used to pray not full, now began to learn to pray five times. I also learned to wear a hijab every day. Especially when going out of the house and there are male guests who come to visit. I always ask Allah that I be given His strength and guidance to be better and closer to Him. I never broke up praying for my only son Muhammad Fatih. I ask Him for the physical and spiritual healing of my son Fatih.

After the prayer, I decided to take a nap. Because I once read that napping is sunnah. Satan never takes a nap. If not mistaken, it is the hadith of the Prophet Shallahu alaihi wasallam. I just felt that God loves His servant so much. How our Prophet, Prophet Shallahu alaihi wassalam, loved his people so much. All kinds of things in human life, have clear rules.

"Bismillah...,". I said then to sleep.

I woke up about three and a half in the afternoon. The body feels so good to be able to feel a nap. I didn't hear Fatih's voice. Is it possible that he is asleep now?. I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. I poured water in a glass and gulped it down. After drinking, I decided to see Fatih in her room.

"Toookkk.. Fatih?, uh?,". I knocked on the door. But there's no answer from inside.

I decided to open the door to my son's room. I heard nothing when I entered my son's room. I walked slowly, and I saw my only son preparing a rope. I don't know what the rope is for.

"Trainer?,". My words approached my son.

"Yes Bun,". The answer was flat, without looking at me.

"What are you doing, son?, what is this rope for?,". Many confusion.

"Mother?, Mother has often told Fatih. If Fatih could meet with Aisyah. In fact, it has been a long time Bun, Fatih could not meet Aisyah at all. Though Fatih has been obedient to Mother. Fatih went back and forth to the hospital, entered the same room, met the same doctor, and the same drugs Bun. But Fatih never once met with Aisyah Bun. And lastly, the only photo of Fatih and Aisyah gone nowhere Bun,". Fatih said with a blank look, and continued to focus on the rope in her hand.

I can't bear to hear all the outpouring of my son's heart. I can't imagine how devastated she feels. Fatih eagerly went to the hospital, because he was very hopeful to meet his ex-wife Asiyah. I strengthened my heart and my feelings, so as not to cry in front of Fatih. I have shed tears too often in front of Fatih. As the Mother, I have to keep looking strong, hopefully it can help Fatih's psychology a little better, and hopefully by not crying I in front of Fatih, can have a positive effect on his psychic development.

"Then what is this rope my son for?,". I asked again who still did not get any answers from Fatih.

"Fatih nyiapin this rope, make it hang there Bun,". Said my son while moving his hand pointing to one corner. I followed the direction of my son's Fatih's hand, which pointed towards the tall wood. The wood was used to tie the mosquito net.

"What's it for, son?,". I still don't understand.

"Bun, Fatih wants to try hanging there. Perhaps if Fatih hung there, Fatih could meet again with Asiyah Bun,". He said with a big smile.

I shuddered at the words of my only son. I want to scream as loud as possible. My heart was completely broken, I shuddered at the words and saw the smile of my only son. I could no longer hold back my tears. I cried out loud, I hugged my son's body, and threw the rope away from Fatih. I don't want to lose my son. I no longer have anyone. I need to call Heru's doctor immediately. Fatih's attitude is getting less and less. He was even reckless to do such a terrible thing just because he wanted to meet his ex-wife. My life is ruined seeing my own son. All this because of that barbaric man. May Allah repay you with a just reward.

"Hiks. hik.. hiks.., Fatih the son of Mother. Listen babe. Fatih can't hang there huh. Later if Fatih hangs there, Mommy sad son. Mother will not be able to meet you again. Mommy will be alone here. Fatih don't do that, son. Mommy still wants to be with Fatih. Fatih don't get close to the rope anymore. Kasian Mommy, Fatih no thought to hang again yes son, it hurts baby. Later Fatih can not be one house with Mother again, later you can not see Mother again,". I explained everything to my son. I still cried and hugged my only son tightly.

I felt the clothes I was wearing wet. My son Fatih was crying in his mother's arms.

"Dear, Mother understands son. Your burden is so great because you lost a woman as good as Aisyah. Mother understands son, Mother also lost Aisyah. Fatih must be strong, son. Mother's prayer never broke for Fatih,". My whisper is slow in my son's ear.

I chose not to answer Fatih's question. Me and Fatih were still hugging and crying together. I am very grateful to Allah, if only I were late in Fatih's room. Maybe right now I've seen my son's body hanging from a rope. I can't imagine losing my son in such a tragic way. Astarghfirullah's.

"Son, you take the medicine baby, then rest well,". I said while releasing my arms from my son's body. I rubbed the remaining tears on my son's cheek. I prepared a medicine that my son had to take.

Fatih fell asleep, shortly after taking the medicine given by Heru's doctor. I pulled out the blanket, and covered the body of my son whom I loved dearly. I watched the face of my only son who was fast asleep. Many times Fatih's hair, I rubbed it with a pela. I don't feel my tears falling on my cheeks anymore. I wiped my tears, and then left Fatih's room. I have not yet performed the Ashar prayer, and will then contact Heru's doctor. Tell me about the incident that just happened.

About four in the afternoon. I sat in front of the house. I called Heru's doctor via WhatsApp call.

"Hallo, good afternoon Doctor Heru. Sorry to interrupt the time,". I said by phone.

"Hallo doctor Layla. Just relax, how's doc?,". Ask Dr. Heru from across the phone.

"So, my son Fatih was suddenly preparing a rope. I asked him, what is that rope for?. Then my son replied, that he wanted to hang the rope so that he could meet his ex-wife Aisyah. Honestly, I was in shock to Doctor Heru. Why is my son getting weird and weird, and there's even the thought of doing things I never even thought of?,". I obviously went to Dr. Heru.

"Hmmmm..., gradually dock. I told you doctor Layla. Bring Aisha to meet your son. At least once, though not for long. Recovery from treatment can not be directly seen results. That takes a long time. While people who are in a severe blow to the psychic can do things beyond our healthy expectations,".

"Doctor Heru?, is there any chance that my son will do and think the same thing in the future?,". I'm anxious.

"That's what I just said Doc. Your son is experiencing severe stress, until his psychic is disturbed. It can make your son do things that your son feels, it's a way to be able to meet things that make him experience stress and heavy burdens,". Doctor Heru explained to me. And again the best alternative is to bring Asiyah to meet with Fatih.

"Then I have to how do doc?, I am currently still in shock with the incident".

"For now, keep giving treatment therapy as usual. And pay more attention to the movements of your son doctor Layla. Do not let your son Fatih out of control of you. Because he was afraid that he would do things that were unexpected like that. Please keep an eye on your son, Doc,".

"OKAY. Okay doctor. I gave her the medicine. And now my son is sleeping,".

"Thankfully,".

"Okay doc, thank you so much Doctor Heru for all your kindness to me and my son,". I said thank Doctor Heru by phone.

"Look off doctor Layla. Do not hesitate if there is something you want to handle or happen. I hope your son recovers soon, Doc,".

"Aamiin, thank you doc. All right, I'll turn off the phone, Doc. Good afternoon,".

"Together doctor Layla. Good afternoon too,". Doctor Heru said to me again.

"Tuuttt.. tuutt,". Phone disconnected.

I'm still sitting in front of the house. I'm still daydreaming. How can I take Asiyah to Jakarta and meet my son?. Should I bring her new husband?. But with what did I call Aisyah?, her old number was no one to call. Including her parents' phone numbers. Did I just take Fatih to Solo?, but it's too risky. The Jakarta-Solo road is very far away, and that's not really the main reason. I'm not good with my ex, and Aisyah's husband. What will I judge in the eyes of all of them?, if I come suddenly and bring Fatih?.

"God, what should I do now?. I'm a mother, but I'm sitting and pensive without any solution,". I said in my heart.

I'm getting an idea. What if I just send Aisyah a letter. It was the only way that I could contact Aisyah and ask her for help. Even though I do not know, will Aisyah want to come and meet with Fatih her ex-husband, and what husband now also allows Aisyah his wife to meet her ex-husband first?. Result business let it be lately. The important thing is that I should call as soon as possible and ask Aisyah for help. As a mother, I should not just be silent to see her son's condition getting worse. May my decision to bring Aisha and my son Fatih together be the right one, O Allah.

"Mother just wants Fatih back to the way she used to be. Mommy wants Fatih to be able to mengikhlaskan everything that happened, can be strong through the days of Fatih ahead even without Asiyah. Mother believes you are the powerful son of Mother,". I said in my heart while wiping my tears.

I went inside the house, and controlled it into Fatih's room. My son is still asleep. I calmly watched him fall asleep, I came out of my son's room and headed to the kitchen. This afternoon, vegetable soup and fried fish will be my dinner menu and my son Fatih. I'm used to cooking by myself, so after not having any domestic assistants, I'm not surprised and used to doing it alone.