Honeyed

Episode.51 (SEASON 2)

"Dear!!. Aiishaahhhh!! ".

" Yah Mas Fahmi. What's the matter, Mas?. He suddenly came screaming. Was it never like this before? ".

"Shut up!. Aisyah, Mas can't continue this household with you anymore! ". I said while shaking my waist, and pacing not careless.

"I-I mean Mas?!".

" From this second, you I'm a talak!! ".

" Athaghfirullah!!. Mas Fahmi, I realized Mas. Why is it, baby?. Why go home immediately saying so. Istighfar Mas, unplug the words of Mas just now. Hikkks... ".

"Mas wasn't joking Aisyah".

I had to do this to Aisyah. Honestly, my heart is broken. It hurts so much to have to say a word that I never really wanted to say. Words that I never even thought of would be spoken to Aisyah. I was forced, forced to let Aisyah go back in the arms of Fatih her ex-husband again. My bones feel very sick. Really painful. I had to pretend to hate Aisyah and tell her the talaq, in order to pay the debt of life to the Mother of my wife's ex-husband.

"Mas Fahmi, unplug those words. Aisyah please Mas Fahmi. Hikkks... ".

" I'm sorry, I can't Aisyah".

"What is Ayesha?. If Aisha is wrong. Please tell Aisyah. Aisyah will apologize and will correct Ayesha's mistake".

" You've got nothing wrong".

"Then why, Mas Fahmi tega mentalak Aisyah?! ".

" Ma-Mas doesn't love you anymore! ".

It's ruined everything. I may not love Aisha. In fact, I love you so much Aisyah. Very much love you. If you knew, say it all to yourself, like I'm putting myself to skin alive. It was very painful and painful for Aisha. Your former in-laws, who forced me to do this to you. If only, Mas knew that the person who helped the people in the tragedy at that time was the Mother of your ex-husband first, maybe mas would rather die than have to do this all to you. In fact, he was the one who helped my life. And Mother Layla, asking the mas to pay Mas's life debt to her, just by allowing yourself to marry Fatih. There was no other decision, other than following the wishes of your former in-law Aisyah.

"Aisha please, do not divorce Aisha mas. Don't leave Aisyah. Hikkkks.. ".

Aisyah cried, roared and begged me. Aisyah even held my leg. Asking me to take my word from him just now. To be honest, I can't do this to Aisyah. But again I am in a very difficult position. It's not just Aisyah. But my life will also be ruined, because of this farewell. Why destiny is always not on my side. Why have I been tested so many times with such a tough test like this.

"Aisha please mas. Oh, my God, Fahmi. He has promised. Will always accompany Aisyah. Why is it that now Mas just threw Aisyah away!!. Without Aisyah knowing why mas?! ".

" It's Asiyah. Maybe the road has to be this way! ".

" No Mas, Asiyah won't. Aisyah wants to raise our children with Mas. Aisyah does not want to. Mas Fahmi, Aisyah please. Hikkks.. ".

" Look down, there will be a man who will take my place in your life. I'm sorry, I have to do this to you ".

" Gold, Aisyah only loves Mas Fahmi. There were no other men in Aisha's life. Aisha did not want to be a widow anymore. Aisyah Please. Oh my God, it hurts so much. So hurt. Hikkks.. hhikkks...!! ".

" Wake up Aisha. Don't be like this. You're beautiful, all right. I am sure there will be a man who will marry you. Honestly, I don't want any of this to happen, but we're just ordinary people. All things were desired this way by God ".

" No Mas, Aisyah won't. Aisyah wants to age along with Mas Fahmi. Only with Fahmi. What was the reason for Mas to shout Aisyah in this way. Aisyah sure, Mas Fahmi still loves Aisyah very much!!. Fahmi lied to Aisyah!!".

"Listen Aisyah, don't make me emotional anymore. I don't love you anymore. No more love in my heart for you!! ".

" Mad, this isn't fair Mas Fahmi. Fahmi can't just divorce her. After all, Aisyah was pregnant. What is Fahmi Mas?! ".

" It's not really the heart. But this is the way".

"Mas, Mas Fahmi can't divorce Aisyah in this pregnant condition!! ".

"Mas knows that. But the divorce papers went to court. While waiting for you to be born".

Perhaps, I have become a man forced to be evil. Worse than Fatih did to Aisha. From now on, I tried to hold back my tears that kept pressing to get out. I must not be found broken and sad in front of Aisha. As much as possible I turned my face away from Aisyah. I can't see Aisyah like this. A marriage that should be happy should be ruined. Why should I be the one destined to destroy my own marriage. If I knew the tip would hurt many of the hearts of the people I loved, it would be better for my life not to be helped then. An incident like this, actually also killed myself slowly without mercy. Who does not suffer seeing the people we love so much should be destroyed because of ourselves.

"Does Mas already have another woman, behind Aisyah?!. Answer Mas!. Hiks... Why would Mas Fahmi want to due Aisyah?!. Why would Mas Fahmi betray Aisyah!!".

"Job!!. Hiks... hiks".

Aisha constantly urged me. Asking for answers to questions I didn't do at all. My eyelids are already very hot. I am no longer strong if I continue to be near Aisyah. It feels so painful. I just walked over, leaving Aisyah who was still sitting on the floor while sobbing incessantly. Aisyah's condition is very concerning. I am not strong, I want to cry hard without Aisyah knowing.

"Mas Fahmi!!, don't go Mas. Answer Aisha's question. Hix... Well if that's what you want. Aisyah will be gone for good from the life of Mas Fahmi!!. To make Mas Fahmi happy with the woman who is now loved by Mas!!. Sorry!!, if Aisyah is still not the wife that Mas Fahmi wants".

More or less those were the last words I heard from Aisha. Aisha's words just now, completely destroyed me many times mercilessly. I chose to sit on the back porch, crying out loud. Putting out all the pain and solace in the heart. Lamenting the destruction of the already hard-earned household and desperately I wake up. Why are the exams so big. Why is this storm so strong, even I lost to face all this.

"Abi, what is talaq?. Why did Umi cry like that after hearing the word talak from Abi? ".

A cute voice suddenly appeared from behind me. Very well understood of myself, who is this cute owner. I looked back and right, Marwah my daughter was standing there, right behind me. Marwah innocently asked me, about the meaning of talaq and so forth. What should I explain to my baby. I'm getting more and more out of my way, hearing questions from this innocent little girl. How can I explain to her that the talaq means that Umi and Abu will be separated and no longer together?. All because of me, my son will be a broken home child at this small age. Marwah was crying, I don't know what made her cry. Or actually he knows what talaq is. I can't speak anymore, my tongue is dead. It is very difficult to get the word out, even if it is just one word.

"Abi, why did Abi say. If Abi is no longer in love with Umi?. What does that mean, Abi is also not in love with Wawa? ".

O God, why is Your test so hard on me. What a sin I have until I have to accept such a severe test. What is my fault, Lord, why again am I chosen to endure this great storm?. Now what shall I explain to this little girl of Your care?.

" Here son, hug Abi".

"Wawa doesn't want to hug Abi. Wawa's abi never made Umi cry. Wawa's abi also loves Umi very much".

" kids.. ".

" Abi, if Abi doesn't love Umi it's okay. Let Wawa and the future Wawa adek who love and love to Umi".

I screamed and cried in front of my daughter. Falling down while continuing to roar. It feels so painful. It completely destroyed everything. Well, I never thought Marwah would tell me that. Such is her love for her with her Umi. How not to be ruined, my own daughter won't even hug me anymore. Marwah is too small, for me to explain the real problem. Let it be, if my daughter will also hate me for hurting her Umi. Maybe it's God's way, to take my life slowly.

"Dear!! ".

This time my mother approached me. I don't know where Marwah went. Maybe she went inside to accompany her Umi who was still destroyed because of me.

" I-mom".

I got up and raised my head. I looked at the face of the woman who had given birth to me. I looked at him closely, and very closely. Mom didn't say anything anymore. Mom just kept silent noiseless looking at me who was still shedding tears.

"Plakkk!! ".

A hard slap landed right on my cheek. All my life, just this time Mom slapped me. Only now do I feel the pain of a slap from Mom's hand. I'm getting powerless, I'm falling apart. My world is dark, very dark. No light can illuminate my steps tomorrow. Marwah and Mom, they even hate me. With whom I will share all my sorrows. I don't have anyone to share with, at least to know how devastated I am right now.

"Mom raised you, educated yourself with compassion. Not to make you, a man who easily says talaq to a woman who has been willing to be your wife!!!. Not to make you a man who easily hurts women!!".

"Mom, listen to Fahmi Ma'am. Hix.. ".

" No one wants you to hear from, Fahmi. I've heard everything you said to Aisha!. I was disappointed, I never thought, my proud son would do such a dirty thing. Don't you remember!!, that you also have a daughter, Fahmi!. Aisha is like Marwah!!. She's the daughter you married to protect and take care of!!. Not to be hurt and thrown away!!. Would you be willing, if Marwah was treated like you are treating Aisha now!!!. You are not sane Fahmi!!. I am so disappointed in you!!. A woman as good as Aisyah you wasted just because of another woman!!? ".

" No-no Mom!. Please understand Fahmi's position. Hixes".

"What position again!. Don't tell me to understand your position!. You alone, can't understand how broken our hearts are. Mother, Marwah, and especially your wife Aisyah!!. Get out of this house Fahmi!! ".

"No Ma'am!. Don't drive Fahmi out of this house!. Fahmi beg Mom. Hix... ".

" I don't want to see your face here anymore. Fahmi's son Mother is not as bad as you. You're not my Fahmy!. Get out of this house now! ".

I ran and held Mom's leg. Wailing and crying like Aisha did to me. Mom didn't say anything, but I know. Mom was crying too, there were tears that fell on my forehead. Not only did I hurt Aisyah, my daughter Marwah, but I also hurt the woman who gave birth to me. I destroyed everyone I loved. If I have to get out of this house, where should I go. A family without a family. Now, I'm completely ruined. All of her hate me, no one wants to accept me, not even my own mother. Aisyah deserves love and affection from Wawa and my mother. I don't even want to hear my explanation. Mother is the only hope I have. But the fact is, the woman who gave birth to me also kicked her own child out of the house. Even more sickly, I thought I was divorcing Aisyah because there was another woman in my life. I'm not that low.

"I'm sorry Fahmi Bu, one day. I'll understand why Fahmi did all this. Fahmi loves Mom very much. Mother is a very meaningful woman in Fahmi's life. Thank you for raising Fahmi and for loving Fahmi. Fahmi pamit Ma'am"..

I walk with gontai. Leaving home that has given me many memories. More than that, I lost everything. Everything that is so precious in my life. Love, a child, and a biological mother, I lost it all. Who is to blame in all this?. Me or Aisha's former mother-in-law?.