Honeyed

Honey Ep.38 (SEASON 2)

If there is a solid stone, then just crush it until it splits and falls apart. That is the condition of my heart. Who does not break his heart, which man does not hurt. Seeing her angel meet another man. Moreover, that man was someone who had possessed that angel in the past. Jealousy?, even more than jealousy. It was natural that I was jealous to see what was plastered in front of my eyes. When I was not home, my wife received a male guest. The man was her ex-husband first. A creature he once loved so much. I'm afraid, Aisyah will be stuck with the old love. It's been hard, I've been patient despite the pain. Waiting for so long, so that Aisyah could love me sincerely as her husband. How not?, during my show. The man who was now in my living room, came with his mother and made the atmosphere of my contract event with Aisyah very sad. Even after that, Aisyah often cried and daydreamed. When many newlyweds are happy and preparing for the honeymoon. But that did not apply to me, I fell awake to strengthen my heart which is actually also fragile, I little by little trying to make her love Aisyah just for me. And really, it's not easy. I endured my heartache alone, holding back my own anger, until it felt like I wanted to give up. My eyes were hot, tears from inside my eyes forced me to come out. My eyelids as much as possible keep them from falling. I don't want to cry in front of Aisyah's ex-husband. I must look tough and ordinary because of his presence. Even to be honest, my feelings have been inexorably messy. My heart was like it was pierced by a very sharp knife, plunging great to the bottom of the heart. Why does fate often play tricks on me, and also repeatedly test my patience?. Can't I be happy with what I have now?. Enjoy the results of my own efforts?. Why else would the exam come, and this time through my wife's ex-husband?.

"Mas Fahmi? ".

I didn't answer my wife's question. I turned around to wipe away my tears that were no longer able to be held by my two eyelids.

" Have you come home?. Which mother?. Why didn't Mom come home? ".

Aisyah asked me where Mom was, kissing the back of my hand. My wife took all the groceries in my hand, but I held them.

" No, let me bring it inside".

I said as I walked into the house carrying the souvenirs I had bought with Mom at the market. I honestly can't bear to do something like that to Aisyah. Moreover, the tone of my talk to him is very ketus. I can't lie, I'm disappointed in Aisyah. Why did he receive a male guest without telling me. Usually he would permit me when there was a male guest, or even not want to open the door at all if the one who came was a male guest and there was no me in the house like today. But why did he do it this time?. Is it because what came was her ex-husband first?. Someone who has been loved in the past?. That is why he dared to open the door. I don't know since when the man visited my house. And it turns out, all my guesses are right. The Fatih mentioned by the little boy with Inspiration is the same Fatih as my wife's past. I never thought my guess would come true. Means all this time, Wawa my biological daughter, was picked up by her ex-husband Umi's man first, as long as I keep Aisyah in the hospital. It was so sad for my life.

"Mas Fahmi? ".

Aisyah approached me who was still standing staring at the back room window.

" Mas Fahmi?, dear Abi. Mas's? ".

I was silent and answered nothing. I don't want to talk to Aisyah right now. I don't want my heartache and anger to go out of control and hurt my angel. I paid no heed to Aisha, and walked with a strengthening heart. I walked towards the front living room. After all, Fatih was a guest in my house. Like it or not. I must keep glorifying the guests. As the Prophet said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, let him glorify his guest.” (CHR. Bukhari and Muslim). Despite my heartache, despite my disappointment, I must remain polite to my ex-husband who came to see me today.

" His father is Ilham. This is Abi Wawa's handsome one".

Wawa my daughter happily and eagerly introduced myself to her friend's father, who was none other than her own ex-husband Umi.

"Assalamu'alaikum, have you waited a long time?. I'm Fahmi, Abi nak Wawa".

I said my regards and forced a smile in front of Fatih. Don't forget to shake hands.

"Wa'alaikumussalam, I'm Fatih. His father Ilham. Oh, it's okay, sir. Actually, I also want to go home. But son Ilham refused".

Fatih's tone looked very nervous when dealing with me. Is he gerogi, or feel defeated. Because I am the one who now owns Aisha, the woman who was once her angel. I don't know, I'm a man. I must not show my dislike for his presence.

"Where did you meet my wife? ".

" Oh... Uh, I-iya is Pak Fahmi". Fatih was surprised when I asked her that.

"Already know Abi. Even his father Ilham know the long name Umi loh".

My daughter Wawa interrupts in the middle of my conversation with Fatih.

Oh, it turns out this man still very memorized the long name of his former wife who now belongs to someone else. Why did she mention Aisyah's full name in front of my wife. Could it be, Fatih still had feelings for Aisyah?. But did he not have a wife and a child, Nak Ilham?. It turned out that Aisyah already knew all this. Aisyah already knew, that son Ilham was the son of Fatih her ex-husband. How did she know that Ilham was the son of her ex-husband?. Since when did the two of them reconnect?. And, it's not that Fatih should live in Jakarta. Why he suddenly settled in Yogyakarta. The same city as Aisha. What does all this mean?. Is there a special relationship between Aisyah and Fatih behind me?. Why does all this feel so painful to my heart. It felt like my chest was burning. It was so exciting, it almost felt like I couldn't breathe. Everything that happened, why was it as planned?. Aisyah who forced her daughter Wawa to enter the same school as Ilham. Though he knew, that Ilham was the son of his former lover first. Is this my wife's way of staying close to her ex-husband Fatih?. By making her daughter Wawa one school with her ex-husband's son, so that they can be close friends and Aisyah can easily meet with Fatih?.

God, why does it feel like I want to stop breathing. Not that I think badly of my own wife. But all of his events are related to each other. Or could this not be the first time Fatih visited home?. Then, why did Aisyah force Wawa to change schools?. Or is this done so as not to make myself suspicious?. I don't know, I can't think straight. Everything made my mind so tormented.

"God her Wawa, her Umi Wawa is very pretty. Isn't it Dad? ". Say plain Inspiration to me, while asking for a statement from his father.

"Hustt.I'm not polite to say so Inspiration. After all, Umi Wawa will wear a nak's veil".

"And I saw Umi Wawa when she didn't wear a veil". Say another word to his father.

"Dad, that's why Wawa is also beautiful. Because of her Umi".

My answer is to melt the atmosphere. These two innocent children, should not be hurt because of adult problems. They do not know anything, all they know is to introduce parents to the family of his good friends.

" Abi, where's Umi?. Why not come here again? ".

Marwah asked me. Because it was from earlier, Aisyah did not appear in the living room again.

" Umi?, oh maybe was cleaning the groceries that Abi brought son".

"Abi?. Where would grandma go?. Abi went with Grandma. How come she came home alone? ".

" If grandma, just asked to play at her house Oma Resti son. Later pakde Johan who drove grandma home".

"Ohh". Answer my daughter Wawa the mangosteen.

Fortunately, I was going to play at Bude's house. So the mother did not get hurt, seeing the husband of her favorite daughter-in-law's ex-husband suddenly come home when there was no me and Mom at home. Certainly, I will also feel the pain I feel now. At least Aisyah doesn't look ugly in my mother's eyes. I do not want, harmony between my wife and my biological mother must be destroyed because of the presence of Fatih in the midst of my family's happiness. Let it be, enough of my heart that I will sacrifice for the umpteenth time. Perhaps also, Aisyah did all this, because I could not be the husband she wanted. Or even Fahmi is not as good as Fatih. God is the witness that I always try to be the best husband for the woman I love the most after Mom. The woman I hope will repay my love is as great as the love I gave her. The woman I wanted so much to be happy after my mother. The woman I wanted so badly to regroup with in her Jannah.

"Well, is there no drink yet? ".

" Oh no need sir. We're going home".

Fatih answered nervously.

"So Wawa told Umi. But his father Ilham even wanted to go home. Be Umi not so make Abi drinking water". Wawa said to me.

" Iyah, actually just wanted to take Ilham to meet with Wawa. She said Wawa hasn't told her where she moved school".

My ex-wife's husband explained what he meant in my house. I don't know, maybe it's just a small talk. To melt the atmosphere so as not to tense up in front of these two little children.

"Well, this is what our family is like, Mr. Fatih. A simple family. In this house there are only four of us.

" Oh, yes Mr. Fahmi".

It seems Fatih got more nervous when talking to me. Or did he visit not to meet me, but with my wife Aisyah?. Maybe it would be a little different if he also brought his wife to my house. It's not like this, and at least he should have made an appointment first, or just kept me informed. Doesn't he have my cell phone number. Why would he just go play at home?. And where is his wife?, why not come visit?.

"Ma-sorry Mr. Fahmi, like him we will immediately leave. There is still an event at home".

" Oh, yes please Mr. Fatih. Do not want to meet my wife first?. For farewell? ".

I tried to offer her a farewell to Aisyah.

" Huh?, Sorry. No need for Mr. Fahmi. Sorry to interrupt the time. Assalamu'alaikum ".

" Waalaikumsalam ".

Fatih looked very clumsy, when I offered to say goodbye to his ex-wife. Her gestures showed like she still had a taste for my wife. I'm a man, I know how men still love a woman. And I saw all that from Fatih. Could it be that Fatih and my wife Aisyah, still both have feelings left behind even though they both already have their respective partners. Wawa and I drove them to the front of the house, so that the car was no longer visible in front of my yard. I don't know, how should I behave to Aisyah. I still feel very disappointed and hurt. To be honest, I was so scared of losing Aisyah in my life. I accepted her for who she was, even though she was a widow and I was a bachelor when I got married. Never once, did I insult her status just yet. Or even, as long as I was married to her, I never asked about her past with her ex-husband just yet. I prefer to focus on my life and Aisyah's now.

I closed the front door of my house, and sat down in the living room chair earlier. Think about all the questions that have not yet been answered. Is it wrong of me if I am jealous?. Jealousy or al-Ghirah is a human nature that can come at any time. In a household, jealousy towards a partner can be said to be natural, right?. Jealousy will not arise because of love. The stronger the love of a husband to his wife, the stronger the jealousy in his heart. It was so heavy to endure this turmoil of pain in the heart. I am a human being, I have feelings too. Should the feelings I had be sacrificed many times. O God, don't I deserve to be happy?.