Honeyed

Episode.43 (SEASON 2)

"Yesoooo!!!. Bundaaa!! ".

"What the hell is it?!. Are you screaming early in the morning?! ".

" Mother!!. Please answer honestly. Why did Mother come to Aisyah's house?! ".

" Oh, you already know. If you run out of the house of your ex-wife who does not know yourself?! ".

" Stop Mother!!. Mother has no right to insult Aisha like that!. Why is Mother still teasing Aisyah?! ".

" What for what!. Obviously to reprimand your ex-wife. Let him no longer bother his only mother's son!!. Mother does not want to, you are crazy for the second time because of Ayesha!! ".

" Athaghfirullah Mother!!. This all has nothing to do with Aisyah?! ".

" You are blinded by love, Fatih!!. Obviously ever since you met him, you have been daydreaming and saying his name again!!. It's been hard Mother brought yourself to treatment abroad. Mother does not want it all in vain!! ".

" Mother, please listen to Fatih. Honestly, Fatih did still love Aisyah. But Fatih is also not selfish should have Aisyah back Bun".

"Yahoo!!".

"You fool!. Why do you still love your ex-wife!. Conscious my son is aware!!. Aisha already has a husband!! ".

Mother slapped me very hard. Even I grimaced in pain. I didn't expect Mother to get that angry with me. My intention is only to want, so that Mother will no longer interfere with Aisha's life. Aisyah had been hurt a lot when she was with me. I want to see the woman I love happy, even if not with me. Although I must be hurt to see Fahmi who now makes the angel smile sweet and happy. Not me.

"Bun, Ayesha the best woman Fatih had ever had Bun. Forever too Aisha will be the best woman in Fatih's life. Although now, Fatih would never be able to have Aisyah again. Sorry if the words of Fatih make Mother disappointed and angry. But this is the fact that there is".

" Hikks.. hikks.it is in vain Mother brought you to seek treatment abroad. You are still insane Fatih!!. Your world is only Aisha".

"Mother, please. Don't take away Aisyah Bun's life. Aisyah has been hurt a lot because we used to. Let her be happy with her life now".

" But we've apologized directly to her!!. Also to both parents!!. But even he had no heart at all. She was indifferent when Mother was in need of help from her!! ".

" Already Mother. We just live our lives now. Fatih understood, it will be difficult for Fatih. But the proof, Fatih can survive for years even with avenged love. So Mother no longer bother Aisyah yah Bun".

"That's it. Mommy won't talk to you anymore!!. Mother only wants the best for your only son!!. How hard it is to marry another woman!!!. Mother is old Fatih!!. Mommy just wants to see you happy with your new wife and have a lot of moms!!. Before you die!!. That's all!!. But you can't give it to Mother!!. To whom Mother should expect it all if not to you the only son Mother has!! ".

"Mother, matters of the heart are not that simple. Forgive Fatih, I don't know until when Fatih will be riding like this. It's hard to find a woman like Aisyah Bun".

I wiped my tears. I can't hold her back anymore. This round of clear water always comes out, if you have talked about the angel I once had, Aisha Fatimatul Salwa. There is no woman as beautiful and as good as her. A woman who is even capable of making men like myself choose to be widowed rather than seek a replacement for herself. I know, this isn't true. But this was a painful choice but it also calmed me down. I am more calm to bear the status of a widower, than to have to marry another woman who is not as good and beautiful as Aisyah heart. If only time could turn around, ah how very happy his life with a woman like Aisyah.

"Lord, if only You would give me another chance to have Ayesha again".

I mumbled in between my sobs.

Mother hugged my body that fell on the floor. I can't hold back my crying anymore. I cried in Mother's arms like a child who lost a toy. No longer is there any shame, let the world laugh at my weak self after losing a creature named woman I don't know what else to do, reunited with Aisha who now belongs to someone else, I can make half my life paralyzed. Not only was it paralyzed, but it also made no more light, dark all pitch-black. For some reason, God still holds that love in my heart. I didn't know the answer until this moment.

"Calm down son. Don't cry my son. Mother promises, will return what should be yours".

"Fatih still loves Aisyah Bun very much, even to this day. Hikk.. It feels like Fatih's life is almost paralyzed Bun. It hurts Mother".

"Mother understands son. Forgive me for forcing you to love someone else. In your heart there is only one name. Honestly, Mommy just wants to make you happy my son. If Mother's wishes are wrong, I'm sorry, Mother. Sorry Mother cannot understand your heart. Sorry Mother is selfish and only thinks about herself".

I can't say anything. The pain is very tight in the chest. Hardly able to breathe. Before, I tried to be ordinary and strong without Aisyah. But after the meeting back then, everything changed. The desire to have the angel back stronger even tends to make my heart more broken. But I realized, it wouldn't be possible. Fahmi has filled Aisyah's whole heart. There is no gap in the heart of that beautiful angel for my name to return. And it really hurts. Actually I am also a victim in my past life and events. I'm a victim, but why should I be given this painful test alone?. Why is destiny unfair to me. I want to be angry, but to whom?. It was like a gaping wound and then sprinkled with salt. It might even feel more painful than that.

"Wake up my son. You must be strong, son. Now you have Inspiration. You should be an example to your son. Be a strong man, reclaim what you should have. Don't be a loser who can just shut up and cry like this. Mother will always support you my son".

Mother wiped my tears with her palm. I didn't expect. Mother will give in and not force myself to find a replacement for Aisha. Mother is no longer selfish and thinks of her own happiness. Even though Mother's intentions to me are good. But Mother's request to me is very heavy. I might be able to give a seven-level luxury home, or even the latest sports car for Mommy. But I can't afford to, if I have to find a replacement for Aisyah to accompany the rest of my life.

"That's not gonna happen, son. You still have to try, if you want to have something. Tida can just sit sweetly and keep crying wailing. It means nothing".

"Mother, stop. Fatih would still be happy to see Aisyah happy with her current husband. Let Fatih be the one who loses, Fatih the one who hurts. The woman Fatih loved is happy".

I wiped the rest of my tears. And smile as much as I can to Mother. I don't want to continue to look hurt in front of the woman who has given birth to me at the stake of life. I know, I'm selfish. I don't think about your feelings and desires. But really, a heart problem. I can't easily grant your Mother's wishes. For many years, I woke up trying to forget the memories and shadows of Aisyah and my life and heart. But the fact is, now Aisyah was brought back into my life, and disrupted everything. I don't know how and what I should be like, I live my days ahead. A city with someone who's been in the past, and who I still love so much, isn't easy. Moreover, my adopted son was close friends with the daughter of the angel who still controlled the recesses of my heart. How could it be so easy for me to get through?.

"Oh, don't cry anymore. Remove your tears. Don't let Inspiration see her father cry. Later he will follow you to be your rich whiny man".

"Fatih does not crybaby Mother. But it's as painful as it feels to lose, and love claps one hand".

" Yes, Mother's intention is only to comfort you son. Sorry if I'm wrong again".

"Engga Mother's. Fatih knows. Thank you Mother. Thanks for everything. Sorry Mother, if Fatih often disappoint Mother. Makes Mother difficult and sad. But believe me, Fatih loves Mother very much".

" Yes yes, Mother believes. You are Mother's only son. Mother wants you to live happily. In the rest of Mother's age, Mother only wants to pet a grandchild born from your wife's womb".

"Come Bun. Fatih just doesn't know when to go riding. So, Fatih asked. Mother do not expect too much to have a grandchild from Fatih ya Bun. Sorry".

" Hmmm. yasudah. At least there is Inspiration. For now, the presence of Inspiration is enough to treat the loneliness of the Mother. Fatih?, my son? ".

" Dad Mother? ".

" Is that how much you love your ex-wife?. If God gives the chance to have Aisha back. Are you sure you will?, even though Aisha has a baby from another man? ".

"Terrantly Bun. For Fatih, Aisyah is half Fatih's breath. And her other half Mother. So, now even though there was no Aisyah on Fatih's side. Fatih can still breathe, because Fatih still has the other half of the breath, namely Mother. Although it feels tight, because you have to breathe with half a breath only. But at least Fatih can still live".

I took a deep and long breath.

"And if indeed fate willed Fatih to return to have Aisha in Fatih's life. Fatih will think of Fatih's stepson as Fatih Bun's own. Not distinguishing in any way. And that's for sure. Mother can see for herself, how Fatih loves Ilham Bun. How could Fatih not have received a child born from the womb of a woman whom Fatih loved so much? ".

Connect me again, holding tightly to Mother's hand. It seems like Mother is thinking about something that does not know what it is. What is clear, there is a twinkle from both of Mother's eyes.

" Mother?. How daydreaming? ".

" No son. Yasudah. You're a boy, so keep the spirit up. Whatever happens to your life. You have to face".

"OK ready, Boss. Thank you Mother, already understand Fatih. Fatih dear Mother".

I hugged Mother's body. It feels so comfortable. At least the burden of my heart is slightly reduced because it has poured out on Mother. Because Mother, I still survive in the midst of a very painful pain. Who is the one who is not hurt and tormented?. Loves a woman who has loved another man and become another man's life partner. There is certainly no one who is not hurt.

"Yes, Mother went inside first. It seems like Ilham will soon wake up from his nap".

" Dad Mother".

I answered with a smile and sat in the same position. Without moving a bit. I still want to be alone, release the tightness that is still slightly stuck in the chest. Expose the thing to the heart.

"Aisyah, why are you able to make me ravish like this. It makes me feel crazy for the second time. Aisyah, is there a little gap in your heart for me your ex-husband first?. Or has your whole heart been closed to Fahmi, who is now your husband?. Is your Fahmi better than your Fatih who was once present in your life?. If someday, your Fahmi leaves. Do I have a chance to be a replacement?. Why does love drive people crazy, even a second time?. Is not the name of love, should make the one who has his happy and flowery in every day. It was still recorded clearly in memory, when I first saw your beautiful face Aisyah. Ayu's face is clean without powder coating, able to hypnotize me who saw it. What a beautiful face I've seen. You look down and shyly open your veil in front of me, who at that time was no one you were. It felt like back then, I found a sparkling pearl, a pearl that had never even been touched by people trying to possess it. Is there another chance for me, to keep looking at your face every day?".

I spoke to myself, asking all the questions that might just get carried away by the wind, without any answers.

"Lord, if you don't allow me to have Aisha back. Why did You not create another woman like Aisha?. Why should I be tormented with my unrequited love? ".

I said softly, on the sidelines of the rustling sound of trees swaying by the wind.