Honeyed

Episode 42

"How?, have you spoken to Fatih about Mother's request to you one week ago?, why don't you go to tell Mother as well?, it's been a week since we sent that message,". I was confused, should I reply to what the message was?, I was never ridho, never wanted to talk about it even a single letter with my husband.

It's been a week, I haven't talked about this with Fatih. I did not share my husband with another woman. What does it feel like, what should I do?, while my Mother-in-law almost every day looking for me, even a week ago had dared to talk about this by phone, he said, fortunately Fatih was exhausted and did not leave the tv room, until the painful conversation was not known by him.

"Sorry Mother, Aisyah has not dared to speak to Fatih mas, to ask Fatih mas married again Bun. Forgive Aisyah Bun. Aisyah is scared Bun. Mother?, can Mother say?, what is the lack of Aisyah for Mother?, did Aisyah ever hurt Mother accidentally?, or is there another way Bun, so that Mother can return to the way she used to?, Aisyah sick Bun, heart and life Aisyah destroyed if you have to share Fatih mas with other women. Aisha beg Mother, Aisha beg you,". I replied to Mother's message by crying. I am not strong, even I tremble when typing a reply to a message for Mother.

Three minutes Mother replied to my message.

"So you haven't talked to Fatih yet?, no-no, there's no other way than to get Fatih to remarry, and you must be willing to share your husband with another woman whom Mother has chosen for Fatih. Okay, now that you love two options, you first choose to divide Fatih for another woman or you're divorced by Fatih and won't have Fatih forever,".

I call you, Mother is so evil to me. What is her heart made of?, even she is also a woman?, why?, what is my fault?, why does my Mother-in-law not think of my feelings at all in the slightest?, why is Mother so very kind, Mother is so good, if it ends up destroying my life as badly as it is today. Why must I pretend to be good in front of me all this time?. I was still crying, in my mind there were so many questions that I knew when I would get the answer.

"Aisha beg Mother, Aisha is not strong to have to share Fatih mas with other women Mother. O Mother God, Aisha please Bun. Don't do this the same Aisyah Mother. Aisha's heart was broken Bun,". O Allah, grant the heart of my Mother-in-law, Lord. I replied to Mother's message, there is still a glimmer of hope that Mother will change her mind and cancel the very cruel request to me.

"No, you have to be combined. Point. However, you must still succeed in persuading Fatih to marry again. Mother love you three days from now to talk about this to Fatih, Aisha. If in these three days, there is no information from you, Mother will not hesitate to make you divorced by your only child. You even know, don't you?, Fatih is very obedient with Mother. So please don't waste a lot of time Aisyah,". Mother remained in her stance. Why would a woman of higher education like Mommy be able to have such a cruel heart?, what if she was now in my position?.

I wept lamenting my poor fate. Why was this great test given to me?, O Allah, why did You not take Aisha, O Rabb?, and Aisha was far from being a solihah, and Aisha was unable to be pitted against Allah.

"Istighfar ya non,". Suddenly I felt a warm embrace in my body, it turned out to be Bi Ijah.

"Bii.., Aisha is not strong. Why is the test of life so hard Bi?, why is God's heaven so expensive?,". I cried in Bi Ijah's arms. While Bi Dar and Bi Inah came to me and Bi Ijah with warm tea and fruit salad.

"Non, not live his name if there is no non exam. Everyone's test is different. Perhaps the non chosen because the non-Aisha is considered the most capable by God to receive this test non,". Bi Ijah advised and strengthened me.

"Non Aisyah, stop crying first huh. We actually did not have the heart, seeing non Ayesha crying like this every day. We miss the beautiful face and happiness of non Aisyah, long for laughter and her smile non Aisyah. Do not drink the tea first, or eat the fruit salad first. Kan non most like fruit salad?, yes.. although aunt ga tau, that salad can make non Aisyah happy what not,". Bi Inah told me to eat my favorite fruit salad. Actually I do not have the slightest desire to eat or just drink, especially in this condition.

"Thank you Bi, you're all very good with Aisyah. Later Aisyah ate salad and drank tea made by aunty kok,". I answered to three Bi.

"Yas, we lived first yes non, maybe non Aisyah still need time to be alone. Always remember God is non,". One of the three Bi personnel resigned and then they left me alone again on the back porch.

A very cruel choice, between dividing a husband with another woman, or being a widow?. O Allah, Aisha did not want to be a widow so soon, Rabb.

Not even Fatih and I have a little angel. How would my parents feel if I were a widow?, nauzubillah. My heart hurts so much, it feels so bad. My tears were dripping again, I looked at the flowers that might have also joined in crying lamenting my poor fate, she said, crying over the broken life and heart of a daughter who is willing to be away from her parents to serve her husband, she said, but fate instead requires her to share her beloved husband with another woman because of the greed of her mother-in-law. But what do the people near my house say?, if I hear that my husband has two wives?, how broken my parents' hearts see the daughter they loved had to sacrifice heart, and his life to be combined?.

I wanted to tell this news to my father-in-law. But I say, I'm afraid that it turns out that my father never knew this at all. I'm afraid your mother's getting mad at me. I have to how, God. Should I tell you about the disgrace of my household, rather than the disgrace of my Mother-in-law to others?, it would feel very evil if I opened the disgrace of Mother to others?, but I?, and I?, after all, Mother is still a woman whose womb gives birth to a man I love so much. I'm fragile swallowing all this alone.

My tears kept dripping, my headscarf wet.

Even warm tea was already very cold, unable to warm my body that was destroyed because of Mother's attitude towards me.

Three days..., where should I start?, I am not strong, God...

"Remember, only three days Aisha. Prepare to be a widow, if you do not also persuade Fatih to remarry,". My very cruel mother-in-law, again threatened me mercilessly, and I was only able to fall silent, and cry, that was all.