Honeyed

Episode.59 (SEASON 2)

"Dear of? ".

" Dad Mother".

"Son, can't stop making the cake. I have something to talk to you about, baby".

" Oh, good Mom. Aisyah wash her hands first. Aisha is following ya".

I washed my hands, I don't know. Mothers are not usually like this. If there's anything to talk to me about. Mom immediately conveyed it to me. Unlike today, it felt like Mom was very stiff and also more serious than usual. Honestly, the cake batter was very nanggung if it should be left. But come on, I can't resist if you've told me to. To me, my mother-in-law is just like my real mother. Especially now that Fahmi is dead. I must be able to replace the position of Mas Fahmi to take care and respect Mother. Rushing I washed my dirty hands for baking dough. My feet are running a little fast, so Mom doesn't wait too long for me.

"It's over, son? ".

" It's Mother".

Speak to me, who is sitting next to Mom. It's as important as what you're going to talk to me about. Why is it so serious like this.

"Son, there's something important I want to tell you".

" Important thing?. But what's Ma about?. Didn't you usually just tell Aisyah straight away, without being this serious? ".

" Dad, this is a very serious matter. It's very important. That's why I also have to talk to you about four eyes, in an atmosphere that is also conducive".

"Hm.. Okay Ma".

" Aisha, a few days ago. When you go to the market to buy some vegetables and fruit. Accidentally, the groceries Mother put on the side of the road were hit by a car. Even though the car didn't go too fast. Because the front road of the market at that time was quite solid".

"What?!. Who grazed Mom?!. Mom is okay, right?. Or is there a wound?! ".

I was so freaked out, hearing that Mom's groceries were stuck in a car. So scared, Mother Why. I don't know, what kind of person can't be careful carrying his car. To the extent that the groceries that have been placed on the side of the road only until in such a drag.

" No son, I'm fine. Because it's just my mother's groceries that are stuck, son. At that time, I was picking some more fruit. You know Aisyah?, who grazed Mom?! ".

" Who is Mom?!. What kind of person is he. Can't even be careful when driving a car. Until the groceries on the side of the road just hit by her. Then, is that person in charge and replacing the broken groceries?. Aisyah has told Mom, let Aisyah do the shopping".

"His people even apologized many times to Mom son. He was also responsible for picking up Mother's fallen groceries. She even gave Mom some money to replace the broken groceries. But Mom refused her son".

"But why did Mom refuse the money for the compensation?! ".

" It's okay, son. For Mother, her people are willing to apologize and good intentions to replace it is more than enough Aisyah".

"Hmmm".

" Daughter, you want to know who that person is? ".

" Who is Mom?. Is that our neighbor? ".

" Not a son. The one who hit Umi's groceries is Natih's son. Your ex-husband Aisyah".

"What?!. Fatih?! ".

"Yes son, I met Fatih. She accidentally hit Mom's groceries, Aisyah".

" O yasudah".

" Then Aisyah should respond to what Mother? ".

" Lad, like his Fatih good youth. He is even up to this moment still widening. I was honestly shocked by Aisyah. When I found out, Fatih had been a widower for almost eight years, just because she couldn't love another woman but you my daughter".

"It's been a life decision for Mas Fatih, Mom. Even when Mas Fahmi was alive, Aisyah had told Mas Fatih to find another woman and asked Mas Fatih to get married again immediately".

" Kid, sorry if Mom's sassy. If I could give you some advice. It's good, marry Fatih's son, Aisyah. I'm sure her love for you is sincere. Raising for almost eight years was not an easy thing for an Aisyah man. It will only be done by a man who does have a sincere heart for someone who is very dear to him".

"Mother, Aisha already has a husband. And Aisha's husband was the son of Mother herself. How could I possibly tell Aisyah to marry Aisyah's ex-husband?! ".

" Athaghfirullah, my daughter. Awake son Aisyah. Mother's son has almost a year died Aisyah. Your current status is a single parent of my daughter. After all, your iddah period has also passed quite a long time. I have no right to force you not to marry again. Because I was conscious. My son is dead, son. Don't worry about Mom's fate. If after marriage, Fatih wants to take you with the grandchildren of Mother. Come with her, I can live alone, son".

"No Ma'am, Aisyah has promised Mas Fahmi. Will take good care of Mom. Aisha did not want to leave Mom. After all, Aisyah already did not love Mas Fatih Bu. Mas Fahmi already brought Aisyah's love all over her. Aisyah doesn't want Mom".

" Aisha, how long will you be able to bear the status of a widow, son. Aisha, I'm sure. You know, holding that status especially at your young age is very heavy, son. Slander is easy to come from anywhere Aisyah. If you get married, it'll be more about keeping your honor, son".

I was still silent, listening to Mom speak. Even though what Mom said just now is true. I often get the test of slander because I am a widow. But I believe, God knows everything I do and what I don't do. Trying to go stupid with the words of others is an important fortress for me right now. It is not easy to be a woman with the status of a widow. Demanded to be a parent as well as the backbone of the family. Is not all sustenance arranged by God, the important thing is that we are willing to try to achieve that sustenance. The affairs of many or few, it is absolutely up to God who will determine.

"And also son. Please think about the future of Marwah and Yusril your daughter's son. Their range is still very long. They need a father figure in their growth. Especially your second son, Yusril. She never even felt the slightest affection of a Father in her life, Aisyah. Didn't you fuck with Yusril. Perhaps, for Marwah he had felt the affection of his Abi. But Yusril?, while still in the womb, he no longer has a father. Please Aisyah, reconsider what I have to say. I leave all her decisions to you. Aisyah I'm sure, Fahmi will also approve if you remarry with Fatih son. Please, don't be selfish, son of Aisyah".

Mother continued her remark again, after sighing deeply and deeply. I don't know what to answer. Loving Mas Fahmi is the greatest happiness of my life. Although at this time, Mas Fahmi had passed away and I could no longer see his smile. But it felt like Mas Fahmi was always close to me, like he was still beside me. How can I try to love another man, while my love for Mas Fahmi is still so great. What Mom told me, I don't blame her. It's all true, to be honest. I never even cried when I looked at that little boy who was almost a year old. My second son with Mas Fahmi, Yusril never knew where his Abi was. Perhaps, at this time he did not understand and also did not look for where his Abi was. Why can't she play with her Abi like her friends. As time goes by, Yusril will get bigger. Sooner or later, she will definitely ask me about her Abi figure. I don't know if I will be able to answer question after question that arises from Yusril's mouth, or if I can just be silent and cry while hugging her.

"Either ma'am, Ayesha did not know what to answer. Indeed, the fact is, Aisyah still really loves Mom's son. Even though we're different nature ma'am. After all, Aisyah was still able to finance the two children of Aisyah Bu. So Aisyah does not really need a companion for life. Yusril's problem, isn't everything God's destiny, is it, Mom?. Maybe, that way. Allah will make Yusril a strong and successful boy in the future".

"It's up to you Aisha. I just give my perspective as well as a solution. After all, Fatih is so very loyal and also loves you very much Aisha. He is also like a good man. Maybe, he learned a lot from his bad past while still with you. Although yesterday met with Mom, Fatih did not immediately offer himself to be Fahmi's replacement. Instead, Fatih asked why you didn't marry again? ".

" Mom, what about Fahmi?. Aisyah could not wish Aisyah love for Mas Fahmi Bu".

"Aisha, I told you. When a husband dies. So the wife left is entitled to marry again or not. All decisions are with you, son. Think about your daughter's future. Aren't the two of them also the fruit of your love with Fahmi. They are proof enough that you love your son who is at ease at His side. It's nothing Aisyah, I just want my grandchildren to feel happiness even if it's not from their own Abi".

"But why do we have to Fatih, Mom?!".

" Aisyah, who else would you like to be with?. Fatih even you already know, how his people when he was your husband Aisyah. You do not need to learn to know from the beginning how the character and nature of the man who will be your companion. Moreover, Fatih loves you so much my daughter. Just imagine, he was widowed just for the sake of his love for you Aisyah. Don't you have pity? ".

Confusion, between feelings or sacrifices. Should I go back to a man I don't even love anymore?. The man who to me has died with the memories of the past. Could it be that, the memories that I have buried for so many years, I will dig back?. If I think about my past with Mas Fatih, it feels so painful. All the pieces of tragedy in the past instantly flashed through my mind. Dumped, humiliated, physically abused. All of this is not easy to forget. I have forgiven Mas Fatih. But still, his fear and trauma still stuck great in the memory. Even if I marry her, will she and Mommy accept Marwah as well as Yusril like her own children?, like her own grandchildren?.

"Come Mother. Aisha could not answer anything. Or give any certainty to Mom. Aisyah understood, Mother conveyed this all because I love Aisyah very much. Aisyah was very grateful to Mother, because she was very sincere in loving Aisyah like her own daughter".

" Yes son, I won't force you into this. Mom's job is done here as a parent. Provide advice, support, as well as information you may need. The rest of you don't want to interfere, it's up to you. After all, one day you will undergo his marriage. You will also feel the joy of his suffering. Prayer, that's all I can give you and your two grandchildren, as well as to the son of the Mother who preceded the Mother".

"Thank you many Mothers. Aisha loved Mom very much. Looking at Mom, it felt like Aisyah was looking at Mas Fahmi. Aisyah always prayed, so that Mother is always healthy and happy". I hugged Mom's body tightly.

" My dear daughter's father. Think carefully, yeah. If you can, Istikharah prayer is Aisyah. Ask God for guidance, so that you are given the best way out of your life".

"Alright Ma'am, I'll think about it if there's a good time. Either when, which is clear for now, Aisyah is in the happy phase of being a widow, albeit with two young children". Saying myself taking a hug off Mom's body.

" Umi, Yusril's sister mentioned the word papah many times. Great well, Yusril can already say papah. In fact, Yusril and Marwah do not have Papah anymore".

Suddenly Marwah came holding her little brother. She was so very happy, because her beloved sister had already started to be able to, utter a lot of new vocabulary. But what Marwah just said to me, it felt really painful to me. The pain even penetrates into the bones. Just now I was happy to have a Mother-in-law as good as her Mom Mas Fahmi. In that instant, I was made aware directly by the words of my daughter Marwah. I couldn't even hold back my tears, looking at my two young children. They had to lose the figure of Abi in their lives. They must endure a deep longing for their dead Abi. I immediately rushed over and hugged Marwah and Yusril. I was crying as much as I could.

"Even though you two don't have an Abi. But you two still have Umi. Umi who will double as Abi for you my children. Hiks... ".