Honeyed

Episode.60 (SEASON 2)

Two months have passed...

Today I have to go to Mas Fahmi's grave. I decided to go back with my ex-husband Mas Fatih. Although all this is very heavy. But, it feels right what Mom said to me. I must not be selfish, I must also think about the fate of my two children who still desperately need a father figure. Just imagine, for two months I was worried and in a dilemma. Between following the advice of my Mother-in-law or still maintaining my very strong love for Mas Fahmi. Because it was Yusril and Marwah, I finally decided to accept Mas Fatih back in my life. Weeping for days is never missed. I don't know why, it hurts so bad to be married again to Mas Fatih. Like me who would betray Mas Fahmi. For sixty days I always prayed to be given a way out and a guide. There was one night where I dreamed of meeting Mas Fahmi. The man I love so much. In my dreams, Mas Fahmi is very handsome. Wearing white clothes with red pants. Her hair was as usual, neatly combed. His face is clean shining. In the dream, Mas Fahmi smiled warmly at me for quite a while. Smiling filled with happiness, after which Mas Fahmi waved at me and then left just like that. I don't know what that dream means.

"Mom, are you busy? ".

" No son. What's up?. Is there anything needed for your kada event with Natih's son tomorrow? ".

"No-no Ma'am. Only Aisyah wants to tell me about dreams".

" Dream?! , what are you dreaming, son? ".

" Mom, two months. Aisyah in the confusion as well. Ever since I said it all to Aisyah. Two months is not a quick time to make a decision. Crying has often adorned Aisyah. In fact, Aisha always prayed istikharah. Asking and whining to be given the right choice, to ask for directions and paths. Sixty days Ma'am, but there's one night. Where Aisyah dreamed, the dream of meeting with Mother's son. In Aisyah's dream there, Mas Fahmi wore a white cocoa shirt as well as black trousers. I know, Mas Fahmi is very handsome Mom. In the dream, Mas Fahmi just smiled full of happiness at Aisyah, then waved his hand slowly. After that just leave. Aisyah woke up and cried. Aisha did not understand what the dream meant. Aisyah had just told this dream to Mom".

I better tell this dream to Ms. Mas Fahmi. Before it's too late. Tomorrow is my wedding day with Mas Fatih. I did ask Mas Fatih not to do a proposal event, nor did I invite many people to the meeting tomorrow. A simple event, without anything fancy and festive it's what I want. After all, in a wedding the most important thing is an event that runs smoothly and fully served. No need for luxury nor do you need to invite many people to thousands. After all, the status of me and Mas Fatih was a widow and widower. It feels unethical if you have to do a luxurious and festive event.

"Son, that means Fahmi also approved of your marriage to Fatih. I'm so happy to hear you dream that beautiful baby. You don't need a lot of thoughts. Tomorrow is your happy day. Trust me, Mother's prayers for you will never stop flowing Aisha. For Mom, you'll still be the best daughter-in-law I've ever had".

"Hikks.. ".

I cried and hugged Mom very tightly. Even though I am married to Mas Fatih, Mother will still come with me. That's one of the conditions I put on Mas Fatih. I'll never leave Mom alone in this house. My happiness wouldn't be complete if you weren't with me.

"Mother, Aisyah is going to Mas Fahmi's grave. Aisyah wants to confide a lot in Mas Fahmi. Then you'll take Marwah and Yusril". I wiped my tears and took off my embrace.

" What time is it? ".

" Later, two o'clock in the afternoon, ma'am. Wait for the cake order to be taken".

"Aisyah, it's good that Fatih also went to Fahmi's tomb. At least he followed the farewell with Abi's children".

" I don't know Mom, maybe Mas Fatih is busy Mom. Aisyah is afraid to disturb ".

" Try me first in the call. Who knows, you can go to the tomb with the kids ".

" All right, Mom. Then, Aisyah try to call Mas Fatih first yah Bu".

"Yes my daughter".

I threw a smile at Mom, then left her. I walked towards the living room, after picking up the phone I put on the bed. What I said was true, Mas Fatih also had to go to the tomb of Mas Fahmi. In any case, Mas Fatih must still permit and say goodbye to Mas Fahmi. I hope that Fatih is not busy. It still feels awkward, I have never even had an intense communication after confirming that I would accept him in my life again. Besides there is no time because it is too busy with the cake and catering business that I live, it seems I do not really want to have much contact with Mas Fatih before the agreement. Neither Mas Fatih nor I, we never even sent each other messages. Even if there is something that I have to say, I must always ask Mother for help as an intermediary. This is the first time I've contacted Mas Fatih without asking Mom for help. Let it be, after all, tomorrow I will have a contract with him.

"Tuuut... ".

The phone rang, still waiting for an answer from the person in contact.

" Hello.. Assalamu'alaikum ".

" Wa-wallaikummosalam".

Answer nervously.

"Dad, what's up Ayesha? ".

" Is today busy? ".

" What's the matter?. Is there something you need for tomorrow's show? ".

" Ti-no. It's just, I want to invite Mas to come to Mas Fahmi's Tomb. I intend to go to Mas Fahmi's tomb with Marwah and Yusril. At least to say goodbye and give news about the event we will do tomorrow. That's also if, please. I'm not forcing".

"Oh, yeah okay. What'sthetime?. Also, it was his intention that I wanted to talk about this with you. But I dare not tell you. I'm afraid you won't be pleased and even misunderstand".

" At two noon".

"Twenty minutes left. All right, I'll get ready to go there. Anything else besides this you want to tell me? ".

" There is no. Then I'll hang up on ya".

"Wait Aisyah?! ".

" What's up?! ".

" It's nothing, just to say. I love you so much. Thank you for accepting me again".

"All right, I hung up. Assalamu'alaikum".

" Waalaikumsalam ".

I turned off my phone with Mas Fatih. I don't know, if only I could answer Mas Fatih's words just now. I wanted to answer that I accepted him back as my husband because of the children. Had Marwah not given my blessing, I would never have gone forward. But unfortunately, the seven-year-old girl was very mature. When I told this to Marwah, I was very afraid and very careful to convey it. A vivid reminder in my memory of what Wawa said when her Umi asked permission to remarry.

"It's okay Umi. Wawa did not forbid Umi to marry his father Ilham. So, Wawa's sister had Abi again. Kasian Yusril Umi, will definitely ask where Abi is going. If Umi remarries, then Yusril will feel carried by Abi just like Wawa used to. Although Abi is different".

More or less, that was the answer that came out of Marwah's mouth. As my body trembled violently, the goosebumps were also deeply slashed at the words of this little girl. Marwah really grew into a mature girl, she even loved her sister so much. Marwah could understand what it was like to be her younger sister Yusril, who could never even feel the touch from her Abi. At that moment, my tears were no longer blocked. I cried as I hugged Marwah. Marwah simply returned my embrace, and then wiped my tears with both hands.

"Aisyah, like Fatih's already come son".

Suddenly Mother came to me who was daydreaming. Sure enough, a gray car parked in front of the house. I'm not even ready. I was too washed away in daydreams for so long.

" Oh yes Ma'am, Aisyah will get ready and invite Marwah and Yusril. Mother, please tell Mas Fatih. To wait a minute".

"Okay son, I'll tell you later. Be prepared, don't make others wait too long".

I watched Mother's body turn away from me. I got up and got ready.

"Marwah, Son?! ".

" Yah Umi, what is Umi? ".

" Daughter, come get ready. Umi wants to take Wawa and Yusril to Abi nak's grave".

"Ashik, go play to Abi's house. Wawa also misses Abi. Whose car is Umi? ".

" Oh, that's Ilham's father's car".

"Ilham's father also went to Abi's tomb? ".

" Yes my daughter, Umi and her father Ilham want to say goodbye to Abi. At the same time want to tell this news to Abi son".

"Oh so, you've Wawa ready first yah Umi".

" Yes, son, don't stay long".

"Yeah Umi".

I rushed to Yusril's room, my son was engrossed in playing with his new toy that his Oma had bought. Yusril walked straight towards me. Hugging myself tightly, she was so very happy when she saw my presence. This little boy, who never felt the affection of his Abi.

"Yusril son of Umi, hopefully someday. Yusril will be a righteous child and also successful in the afterlife, son. Definitely Abi is very proud to have a hero like Yusril". I said softly while wiping away the tears.

At exactly two in the afternoon and ten minutes, I, Wawa, and my son Yusril were ready. The three of us walked towards the front porch, where Mom and Mas Fatih were. Honestly, I actually feel awkward. But yasudah, again for the sake of children.

"A ready? ".

Mas Fatih asked me who was still holding Yusril.

" Already".

Answer's short.

"Here, let Yusril be the one who's fat. May? ".

I did not answer, only took Yusril down from my sling. Mas Fatih swiftly took over Yusril from me. Yusril looks happy in a cradle by Mas Fatih. What a child as small as him could already feel, that the man who was currently holding himself in a moment would become Abi so fortunately. I don't know, what is clear is that I saw Yusril was very happy to be carried by Mas Fatih.

"Mom, it's good that you come with us too. It'sit's nothing. Aisyah doesn't want any slander ma'am"

I said to the mother who was sitting. Asking Mom to come with me and Mas Fatih to the tomb was the best way to avoid any untrue talk. Me and Mas Fatih are not officially married. Although there were Marwah and Yusril, still. They are just children.

"That's exactly what Aisha said. Mom just come with us Dad". Mas Fahmi said along with my words.

"Well, I'll come with you too".

The five of us walked towards Mas Fahmi's grave. Along the way, I just kept quiet while holding Wawa. Mas Fatih was joking with my son Yusril. It felt like my legs were so heavy, the pain was coming up again. Memories with Mas Fahmi back scattered in my mind. Why does it feel so hard to continue my marriage plans with Mas Fatih. The wedding ceremony will be held tomorrow morning. It feels like Mas Fahmi is still by my side, why do I seem to be betraying Mas Fahmi?. I don't know why it feels like I'm back to doubt. I slightly glanced towards Mas Fatih, this man who used to be my husband. From the look in his eyes, Mas Fatih actually accepted Wawa and Yusril as his stepchildren. The sincerity and great love for me is clear. But what is this feeling?. Is it possible that this taste arises from the temptations of the devil alone?. I don't know, I don't understand myself either.

"The father of Ilham, why did Ilham not come? ".

Suddenly Wawa broke the silence and awkwardness that existed, by asking Abi candidates. Ask the whereabouts of his old friend who will soon become his half-brother.

" Oh, yes, son. Inspiration is taking a nap. So can't come here".

"The father of Ilham, will soon be married to Umi. Later, what did Wawa call her? ".

" It's up to Wawa, son. What do you want to call, or just call like Dad Wawa".

"Meanwhile, Wawa and Yusril call their father Ilham so Abi will. Just like Abi Fahmi"

"Dad son. No papa".

"That's Abi Wawa's house".

Marwah pointed at a tomb, and immediately ran towards her Abi tomb. Marwah used to call his Abi tomb home. Marwah looks so very happy. He even directly hugged a tombstone that read his Abi name.

It was so sad to see this view.

"Assalamu'alaikum darling".

I said as soon as I arrived at Mas Fahmi's grave. I keep calling Mas Fahmi dear, even though it's in front of Mas Fatih. It seemed like Mas Fatih also did not mind, it was evident from his usual facial expression and did not look jealous.

" Abi Assalamu'alaikum. Abi, Wawa comes with Oma, Yusril's younger sister, Umi, and Ilham's father. Abi, Umi and her father Ilham are getting married tomorrow. Abi do not be sad well, even though later Umi married her father Ilham. Umi will remain in love with Abi. Is that really Umi? ".

Marwah immediately conveyed all the intentions of his arrival with his family to his Abi tomb. In fact, neither I, Mas Fatih, nor Mother has anyone opened a single word. Marwah asked me for an answer, that I would still love her Abi, even if I remarry.

" My daughter's father. Umi will love Abi at any time".

Reply steady.

"That's Abi. Abi should be happy well".

Say Marwah again, by continuing to gently stroke her Abi headstone.

Nyekar event as well as say goodbye to Mas Fahmi closed with a prayer together. I am also Mas Fatih, even Mother has conveyed to Mas Fahmi. Hopefully, this is a wrong decision.