Black Pen

82

I don't care about anything anymore, listening to your heart is the best. When asking others there will be many answers that make me worse or worse than it all.

I got the answer in my own way, seeing that the state of the Star made me weak, I had to get rid of the ego for the sake of his future.

Doni came back to see me he told me everything that happened to the Star that day, I was so devastated. I never taught him to hate anyone, maybe the inner bond or the pain I felt made him feel uncomfortable about the figure of the father who met him .

I went home to see him, I saw he was very happy with my arrival. I hugged him giving him a gift that made him happy, he did not even let go of his grip even for a moment.

"Don't lose any more" Her voice was so soft, she grew so fast that I didn't notice.

"Who taught you to talk like that, son?" I smiled at him, there was a sense of haru as well as pride.

She's my baby, so fast she's growing. Time went by so fast, I realized he was talking like an adult.

I saw her holding back tears, her eyes glazed over. However, he is a great toddler who does not even want to show his sadness to others.

I nodded in agreement, I don't know what I was thinking. Comforting her or even slowly hurting her, fooling her by pretending to follow her wishes.

"Mama said Star is a great kid, no fuss. Well son of God, continue to say Mama yesterday adek meet father too huh?" I stroked her hair, it was a bit difficult indeed to give an understanding of a divorce to a 2-year-old.

"Dad don't come back here again yeah, don't ask anything about Dad. Later if it's already big already adek must understand" It feels like to scream so-so. There was a sense of regret after I said my failure to the child who actually did not understand anything I said.

"Gamau" The two tiny hands hugged me tightly, he was crying on my lap.

How hard it is to show my heart.

Age is just a number, the proof is that he understands every sentence I make. I'm pretty selfish about this.

Doni came back to me, this time he apologized to my family he was also about to pick me up. My family just stares at me like it, but there's not much I need to do I'm just thinking about the Stars, the ones who still need me and Doni as complete parents. I agreed to go back to him, my family seemed disappointed especially Papa he really did not like Doni and his family since the incident a few years ago.

This time I don't care what they say I'll hold out for my Star, no matter how much hurt Doni gives me.

I quit my job again, because the distance between Doni and me was quite far, it was not possible for me to keep working.

Mama was used to the Stars, she forbade me to take the Stars with me, I also did not matter because then I could go back to looking for more work for tuition and daily living expenses for Bintang.

When you decide to go back home, everything will start again from scratch. Economics, habits, even feelings.