Black Pen

53

" Dear wake up".

The soft voice came back after an hour.

"Oh shit, apparently I overslept". I opened my eyes slowly, Mama was sitting right beside me with Doni and Baby Star.

"You slept well, did you feel tired?" . Ask Doni with his distinctive voice.

"Ah this you, of course I feel tired. This day I took care of my baby and also shopping for the needs for our baby's thanksgiving, it's a pity Babe didn't come. I want to share my happiness with him. Hey is the show over?".

I flinched and immediately got up from my seat. Nobody saw me there except Mama and Doni.

"Where are the others? what time is it now? did I sleep too long?".

I immediately held the baby Star who had been crying for her right.

"Your mother-in-law is preparing dinner in the kitchen, while the others are helping your mother-in-law deliver the dishes to the neighboring houses. It is now 7 nak , has entered the prayer time isya".

"Will my mom stay here?". I looked at Mama who was sitting next to me.

"If you want it".

Only Mama who always understood me, slalu accompanied me under any circumstances, Mama slalu tried to smile, she comforted me when I was sad.

"Is Mama still angry?".

Apparently the absence of Babe and Aa makes me a little hit, I know for some people this is a common thing that can be done without a family.

But I'm Babe's favorite child, I'm the only one they're proud of, I'm babe's only daughter. Obviously Babe will be accompanying me, let alone an important event like this.

"Mama is very angry and sad, but Mama understands, Mama's sadness is not comparable to what you have experienced so far. Mama knows you're a strong boy, make yesterday the most valuable lesson, baby, I'm sure there's an even bigger storm ahead, no matter what happens in your marriage, promise to save her, Mama wants what's best for you".

Mom's eyes are glazed. Right, when your heart gets hurt it will take a very long time to heal.

There is no cure for heartache, except time and wonder. And the mistake I made made made Mama embarrassed and depressed, even though Mama was still my Mama, she still tried to smile in front of me, covering all her sadness with a smile.

And it was a deadly whip to me, where his smile was no longer real, he was just pretending. I miss my mom, I miss my family. Longing for their laughter, not hurt and sadness or charade just wanting to cover the sadness with a smile, is unfair.

I looked at my mother's face with sadness, I felt such deep regret, if good destiny had been on my side, had I been able to take care of my body, it probably wouldn't have been like this. I lament the remorse between sorrow and eternity, what do I want now? just a real happiness.

Then, Stars? sometimes I get so angry, how can God leave it to me, and I'm never ready to have it, it feels so naive. Even a few times it came to my mind to leave her in the orphanage, I was really depressed.