Black Pen

73

Working in a garment factory owned by a foreign company was not as easy as imagined, I had to wake up earlier than usual, prepare provisions for me to take to the factory, and then I had to get to the factory, not to mention that Bintang came to wake up whining asking me to stay asleep next to him.

I work early in the morning, Saturday has to be late, I only have one day a week to babysit my baby, I left everything to pay off a debt I didn't know how it came from.

After a violent argument that night, I tried to be heartened to forgive her on the condition that she should allow me to resume my education my ideals were delayed due to having to get pregnant out of wedlock.

"But you know I owe a lot. Maybe for now I can't afford, where I work is also bankrupt I will be in PHK one more week" Doni looked down lethargic in front of me.

I understood what he was feeling but I really didn't care, the amount of pain I felt seemed to make me selfish and stubborn, his disdain and appreciation went with the kick he gave me that day. Now all turned around, I who used to be obedient and obedient to the husband now become brave, whatever I want he must do no matter who is able or not.

Not only was that free association also made me very wild and violent, I've been working again , I can make my own money for what I'm afraid of, but now he depends on me. Maybe after in PHK he will take care of baby stars, really the world is spinning. Times have changed, women's emancipation is increasingly becoming . I let myself dissolve in pride.

"I don't care , agree or not I will continue my education. Look, your mother should know that the world is spinning. He's hurt me a lot, now it's time I prove it".

Apparently my suffering has turned into a grudge, there is a feeling of wanting to destroy. Those who excommunicate me, look down on me like trash, those who whisper behind me, those who harass me, those who make me suffer so far. I'll pay it back.

The best revenge is to make myself better, to give them the things they need. They must become obedient like a Dog obedient to his master.

"You'll find out later, I'LL LOVE YOUR FAMILY, JUST ME . hahaha" I screamed out loud, I held my mouth shut in Doni's ear I whispered "Only me".

Maybe I'm crazy, but I let the devil rule me, I release all the thoughts and feelings that I've been craving for . After a long time of not laughing I now rediscover my laughter, the cunning laughter that rules me.

"Istigfar Ma'am. Apparently your work made you forget who you are" Doni looked at me with her fiery red eyes holding back anger.

"Hahaha, I hate you for ruining my future, I hate those who hurt me too, you know? they treat me like shit. Even you're tormenting me" As soon as my laughter turns into crying, I cry out.

Doni passed by leaving me sobbing. He could say nothing but a thousand languages.

The first gift I received, it felt so good. I haven't held my own money in nearly a year. I never even had money.

I used the money for a list of lectures at one of the Universities not far from my home, in addition to its location close to the home Campus was also very cheap.

I'm glad I finally got to go to college after all this time I've been craving. God heard my prayer today. My gratitude goes to him, I unceasingly praise his power. At least this will slightly treat me from the long wounds I've been through.

While Doni, after being in PHK he opened a conter business with one of his friends at a Mall in the heart of Bandung.

Our finances are getting better and better, Doni's debt is slowly reduced even almost finished because of my help, his business is also growing now he holds 2 counters at once, my lecture went very smoothly, he said, and the Star of his needs was well met. He grew up to be an active child.

However, the exam in the household will not just stop. We feel together. I'm busy with my work in the factory, Doni who works to take care of his business in the city makes us rarely communicate. He comes home once a month, there is a sense of saturation approaching us.

I was getting tired of the myriad of jobs and college assignments that piled up, Doni who no longer paid attention to me. Makes my mood go up and down.

Feeling unnoticed again, finally quarrel for the sake of quarrel we went through .

On a clear Sunday, I took the initiative to visit Doni's workplace. I glimpsed that nothing had changed, that Doni was still working with his men, that I watched him from a distance with a Star that could now walk and even run small.

A woman approached Doni, he hugged Doni from behind, Doni who was sitting continued his work, he did not pay attention to the woman. The woman kissed Doni's shoulder.

A disgusting sight that again scratches the wound in my heart. I walked over to her casually, I hid my tears that were about to drip, I held back the emotions that had peaked.

"EHM" I sat in the seat where the customer sat waiting .

Doni turned to me and of course he was shocked, while the woman just looked at me cynically.