Black Pen

54

I sat weak, I leaned my body behind the door, it felt too early to understand the many unexpected things that just happened in my life.

I am too weak, even to cry it feels like it needs a large enough flow of energy, I do not understand why I have to have a way of life with a plot like this, obviously this is not fair.

Now a sense of regret is spreading in my chest, growing bigger and bigger, making me forget all the good that HE gave me.

I was so angry at myself, at the situation and at God. I regret all my decisions, everything that has happened in my life, a real and sad destiny, I really feel like I have fallen between dilemma and regret.

I looked at the face of my little baby who was sleeping beside me, he was so innocent clean, he was sincere and so delicate. As my tears flowed down, I grabbed her tiny body, I kissed her slowly. It's too painful for me, how can I be different from them ?

My sadness did not only get there, like falling and then being hit by stairs anyway , living in

the environment in-laws in fact is hell for me, every day is a nightmare, even to wake up in the morning it was not wanted, if God had let me sleep and not wake up again, it would have been so much more beautiful.

Many things happen in the house, disagreements, disagreements, habits, the more days they dare to set the course of my life, he said, even now my household is on the verge of collapse where my husband's mother has completely taken over my husband's rights and obligations, just as a puppet of me and Doni has been successfully controlled .

Of course it's not for the first time, even before we were married Doni had gotten used to debt, even though it wasn't with me. I am so shocked at my current situation. Debt continues to pile up, Doni's work is unclear, in-laws who interfere in addition to the sister-in-law who is always pitting between me and other family members.

Many times I begged for justice on Doni, so that he would immediately take me out of the house. Many times he refused my request for various reasons.

He was clearly defending his family , without being concerned about my situation, he was making me more depressed than before, how not? both of his parents treated me very well in front of Doni inversely to what they did behind Doni, they were so good at tongue-licking that they even complained between me and Doni.

Not only that, every thing I do in my married life with Doni, it becomes a warm conversation between them and their neighbors, even my name has been so bad in Doni's neighborhood.

This saying is so real I feel "far from the smell of jasmine, near the smell of dung", used to be far away it was like finding its own beauty in the household, it is the source of happiness when in-laws can love us for who we are, with all our shortcomings and limitations.

However, now when they were close together they were nothing more than an enemy who could mentally attack at any time.